The best I can offer to whomever is willing to read is a very choppy, disjointed flow of words about what I'm wrestling with and reflecting on.
- I attempted to take a stab at exploring the issues surrounding something like this once before, but it brings no resolution any closer to me.
- The bottom line is that we will never truly know. We have pieced together almost everything there is to know about Columbine over the last eight years, but we still don't really know why those kids did what they did. And, I don't think anyone will ever truly know why Cho did what he did.
- I think we as human beings have a basic need to know why. It's why we call that girl that broke up with us every day, why we question the origins of our species, why we wonder about the mysteries of the universe and religion. It's human nature. That we will never know makes this especially troubling.
- Why them, not me? I can't imagine what life will be like for the survivors and eye-witnesses. My only hope is that they get the support they need as time goes on.
- As someone who took a lot of English and writing classes, the question of "hey, read this kid's plays and writing! He was obviously fucked up! Why didn't anyone do something?" is a tricky one. At what point do you decide that anyone who writes something disturbing has "problems"? I once wrote a story in creative writing about a divorced woman with severe mental problems that shot herself in the head at the end. Does that mean I'm suicidal? Should Dr. B have referred me to a counselor? If she had, would someone have forced me to go? It feels like a slippery slope.
- It also sounds, as more and more comes to light, like some of his teachers did try to do something. So, do we need to examine our counseling, and look at the processes for helping people in this type of situation?
- And, at what point does a teacher have to take self-preservation into account, if they truly feel someone is teetering on the edge? For example: two of my fellow bloggers work in the world of teaching writing. KL has this to say: "I've actually thought about this alot - every time I give some roid-stoked athlete a 'D' or the fail the chairman of the BOT's daughter because she stops coming to class in October, I worry that my office will be stop #1 on the tour of terror."
- Along the lines of needing to know why, I think humans also have an inherent need to have someone to blame. The shooter is dead, so he doesn't ever have to stand up to public venting and scrutiny, but by God somebody has to. Why didn't the police get there sooner? Why didn't the school notify the students? Why didn't the teachers refer this kid to some counseling? Lots of questions, few--if any--viable answers.
- To hold police accountable seems crazy to me. How could they have even remotely considered planning for a situation such as this? Did they stand idly by? By most accounts that I've read/seen, the kid killed himself when it became apparent the police were closing in on him. So, who knows what the death toll could have been had they not done what they did? We can't have it both ways; we can't have our privacy with law enforcement being unobtrusive and at the same time expect them to be everywhere all of the time to prevent every possible crime.
- Why didn't the school notify the students? I tend to think that we've become such an "on-demand" society that we've created unreal expectations for ourselves and our institutions. Couple that in with hind-sight being 20/20, and the water gets choppier. What's the most effective way to notify 25,000 students of what appears at the time to be an isolated dorm shooting? At the time of the classroom shootings, what information did they have, and what information could they have sent out to everyone? And what method is best for getting that information out to 25,000 kids (plus faculty, staff, administration, etc.) in a timely and yet most noticeable way? And, despite hindsight, does anyone think that notifying students of (again, what appeared to be) an isolated incident would somehow have prevented the ensuing incident? Does the school (or, does any school, for that matter) have a contingency in place for deciding what dorm shootings will lead to further classroom shootings across the campus two hours later? Would everyone have stayed home? Could they have locked down every other building on campus to prevent him from entering?
- The following is a sweeping generalization, and I mean no disrespect to the victims' families, but I have to say it: we live in such a litigious society that I can't even finish this thought without getting upset. I shudder to think about what's coming down the road...
- So, after all of that, who's to blame? No one. Everyone. First and foremost, though, this country needs to grieve and attempt to heal. At some point, however, this country needs to step back and take a long, hard look in the mirror in an attempt to really get at the roots here. History has taught us that, unless we really are willing to make an inward change, as opposed to pointing fingers outward and attempting to be reactionary, this IS going to happen again. Did we ever think it was going to get worse than Columbine? Did we really do anything as a culture to ensure that it wouldn't? Are we now happy with the results?
- Guns. Ugh. When will we learn? How much more evidence do we need? The story I had heard was that this kid bought his handguns legally. He had his three forms of ID. He passed his background check. I understand the Second Amendment is open to wide interpretation, but at what point do we draw the line? The solution can't be more guns, more armed guards everywhere. It just can't. Steve brings up a good point: when do the politicians stop fearing the NRA? At what point does that political pressure from everywhere else outweigh that of the gun lobby?
- I'm going to fumble/punt here, so please bear with me... I understand the media has a duty to inform the public, and that this is the hugest story of the year by far. But, at what point does the media need to just back the fuck up? Whether they mean to or not, their need to get ratings and eyes glues to TV sets involuntarily adds a degree of celebrity to the people who commit these acts (bear with me, here; I use the term "celebrity" in the most macabre sense of the word). I think back to the movie "The Frighteners" where Jake Busey's character carved numbers into the foreheads of his victims because he was counting... and trying to outdo the serial killers before him. I don't like the need to label things like this the "Virginia Tech Massacre" or the "worst" school shooting in history (to me, this implies that we can assign a degree of evil or "badness" to something that really can't/shouldn't be quantified).
- To carry this a little further and dredge up something again from above, if this country doesn't wake the fuck up and take a good hard look at itself, this IS going to happen again. Whether we like it or not, there are bad people out there. I don't like giving them inadvertant goals or targets to strive for.
- And, along those lines, having said that I have basically no doubt that this will happen again, what do we as a society do about it? This is the $64,000 question. Let's look at this a bit...
- 1. Gun control. It has to be an option. Fuck the NRA if they can't see that. Guy bought his guns legally. The laws, therefore, don't seem to be working, do they?
- 2. Education and Health Care. Not relevent here? Not so fast. Go back up to bullet #1 above and read my previous entry on this subject. I don't have the energy to retype it.
- 3. Are we too violent? Have we become desensitized? Lord knows I've played more than my share of Grand Theft Auto, and I sat through "Hostel" once upon a time, but the line is still most decidedly NOT blurry for me. But, am I in the minority there? I don't know. It's a question our society really needs to ask itself.
I guess my hope that, in an effort to get "the story," we don't actually miss The Story. You know, The Story Of Grief. The Story Of Compassion. The Story Of Healing. And, most importantly, The Story That Has The Lesson To Learn At The End.
Fuck.
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