Sports Musings

Here it is, fresh with the ire that only a "career-ending Cleveland sports injury" can bring:

Browns
LeCharles Bentley may never play again.

So says GM Phil Savage, according to both today's PD and ABJ. Figures. Took one snap in practice for his boyhood team, didn't get hit by anyone, and now may never play again. Special thanks to the obligatory Cleveland Staph Infection that destroyed his repaired tendon and made his 2006 surgery completely worthless.

He's definitely out for 2007, and though he vows to come back someday and play at a Pro-Bowl level, it won't be for the Browns. Ask Jamir Miller.

Prediction:
Bentley's repeated rehab attempts continually sputter, and the Browns finally cut ties with him after the 2008 training camp. Bentley miraculously recovers in time for the 2009 season, plays for another team, and does indeed make the Pro Bowl. He then shares a pizza and a laugh with Jeff Faine.

Savage wants up to four linemen.

From the same article(s), Savage has said he'd like to sign two free-agent linemen and draft two more. My dream scenario: Eric Steinbach and Luke Petigout as your free agents, re-sign Fraley at center, hope a no-longer-suffering-from-vertigo/depression/whatever-the-hell-is-wrong-with-his-mind Ryan Tucker can go right tackle (with Kelly Butler grooming for 2008), put Steinbach at left guard, move Kevin Shaffer at right guard, and draft Joe Thomas at left tackle. Petigout, Isaac Sowels, and Butler are your top backups, along with whatever other draft pick you get.

Prediction
Steinbach's potential left tackle abilities price him out of the Browns' range, they sign Petigout and some other chump, and pick two linemen on day two of the draft. The line still sucks again for the 2007 season and the foreseeable future.


Indians
Garko has been working hard at learning to play defense.

Dan Parker says: LET THE KID FREAKING PLAY! You're telling me that Casey Blake's defense is so much better/more important that you're willing to live with his shitty OPS at both a corner outfield and infield spot? To quote Dante Hicks, "What's next? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?"

My only hope is that this is all some ploy to light a fire under the kid's ass.

Prediction
Garko ends up as part of a Sexson-like trade to bring in bullpen help when the shitty retread bullpen inevitably fails. The modern-day Jason Bere coming the other way in the deal flops/blows out an arm/flames out. Take your pick.

Keith Foulke.

Shit, at least he didn't milk $5 million from the team while sitting on the DL all year "rehabbing" in some groupies' pants. I'll give him a cookie for that.


Cavs
Potential three-way trade with Minnesota and Sacramento brings Mike Bibby to town.

While this sounds good in a vacuum (let's face it, our point guard play has left something to be desired, and I would love for Daniel Gibson to pick up a few things from Bibby), the potential cost has to be concerning. I heard Ric Bucher on ESPN radio this morning talking about it, but even he had no idea what the asking price would be. If it involes Anderson Verejao, Gibson, and Sasha Pavlovic, I'll pass for now, thanks.

Prediction
No deal gets done; the Cavs trade for Juan Dixon instead, and discover they'd have been better served just having someone kick them in their collective nuts instead of trading a player/pick for Juan Fucking Dixon.


Blue Jackets
The playoffs are a long ways away for this team.

They get up for the good teams, roll over for the shitty ones. Why?? They beat Calgary and San Jose on a home stand in which they also lost to four non-playoff teams (five losses, if you include the come-from-ahead overtime loss [shootout] to St. Louis last night). What the fuck?

Trade talks loom since the deadline is next week, with Brian Berard and Anson Carter the most likely to go.

Prediction
Both Carter and Berard get traded to contenders, with Carter all of a sudden become the 30-goal-scorer the Jackets thought they'd signed, and Berard being a salary dump (coming off injury, he's probably a half-year to a year away from being his old self). The Jackets finish with the third-worst record but somehow get stuck with the 11th pick in the draft lottery.


Can you tell how cynical I am?

Sheesh.