Put Down Your Bias

Come on, my Ohio State brethren... you don't have to be a Michigan fan to appreciate Jared-Smith-to-Brent-Petway-55-foot alley-oop to help beat Sparty...

Check it...
^{if your pop-up blocker is on and it doesn't auto-load, click on "launch video player"}

When does it end??

Seriously, Bentley possibly never playing again wasn't enough to appease the football gods, apparently.

The ABJ reports today that Kellen Winslow actually had microfracture surgery on his knee, instead of an arthroscopic "clean up" procedure as was initially implied by the team.

To add to the awesomeness that is Browns football:

The surgery is delicate, and although results have improved, it has not always been successful.

Microfracture surgery replaces damaged or lost cartilage. Small holes are drilled in the knee bone to promote blood flow. Scar tissue forms, replacing the damaged cartilage.

The procedure takes 30 minutes (according to Wikipedia) and is performed arthroscopically, but it requires the patient to use crutches for six to eight weeks and prohibits strenuous athletic activity for four months.

Although some athletes -- notably basketball players -- have come back as good as new, some football players have not.

Former NFL running back Terrell Davis' microfracture surgery did not help him, but his was a last-gasp operation.

Former Browns defensive end Courtney Brown had microfracture surgery and was never the same.

Carolina Panthers running back DeShaun Foster has come back well, but a teammate, receiver Patrick Jeffers, did not play again.

Fucking awesome. Just kill me now.

Sports Musings

Here it is, fresh with the ire that only a "career-ending Cleveland sports injury" can bring:

Browns
LeCharles Bentley may never play again.

So says GM Phil Savage, according to both today's PD and ABJ. Figures. Took one snap in practice for his boyhood team, didn't get hit by anyone, and now may never play again. Special thanks to the obligatory Cleveland Staph Infection that destroyed his repaired tendon and made his 2006 surgery completely worthless.

He's definitely out for 2007, and though he vows to come back someday and play at a Pro-Bowl level, it won't be for the Browns. Ask Jamir Miller.

Prediction:
Bentley's repeated rehab attempts continually sputter, and the Browns finally cut ties with him after the 2008 training camp. Bentley miraculously recovers in time for the 2009 season, plays for another team, and does indeed make the Pro Bowl. He then shares a pizza and a laugh with Jeff Faine.

Savage wants up to four linemen.

From the same article(s), Savage has said he'd like to sign two free-agent linemen and draft two more. My dream scenario: Eric Steinbach and Luke Petigout as your free agents, re-sign Fraley at center, hope a no-longer-suffering-from-vertigo/depression/whatever-the-hell-is-wrong-with-his-mind Ryan Tucker can go right tackle (with Kelly Butler grooming for 2008), put Steinbach at left guard, move Kevin Shaffer at right guard, and draft Joe Thomas at left tackle. Petigout, Isaac Sowels, and Butler are your top backups, along with whatever other draft pick you get.

Prediction
Steinbach's potential left tackle abilities price him out of the Browns' range, they sign Petigout and some other chump, and pick two linemen on day two of the draft. The line still sucks again for the 2007 season and the foreseeable future.


Indians
Garko has been working hard at learning to play defense.

Dan Parker says: LET THE KID FREAKING PLAY! You're telling me that Casey Blake's defense is so much better/more important that you're willing to live with his shitty OPS at both a corner outfield and infield spot? To quote Dante Hicks, "What's next? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?"

My only hope is that this is all some ploy to light a fire under the kid's ass.

Prediction
Garko ends up as part of a Sexson-like trade to bring in bullpen help when the shitty retread bullpen inevitably fails. The modern-day Jason Bere coming the other way in the deal flops/blows out an arm/flames out. Take your pick.

Keith Foulke.

Shit, at least he didn't milk $5 million from the team while sitting on the DL all year "rehabbing" in some groupies' pants. I'll give him a cookie for that.


Cavs
Potential three-way trade with Minnesota and Sacramento brings Mike Bibby to town.

While this sounds good in a vacuum (let's face it, our point guard play has left something to be desired, and I would love for Daniel Gibson to pick up a few things from Bibby), the potential cost has to be concerning. I heard Ric Bucher on ESPN radio this morning talking about it, but even he had no idea what the asking price would be. If it involes Anderson Verejao, Gibson, and Sasha Pavlovic, I'll pass for now, thanks.

Prediction
No deal gets done; the Cavs trade for Juan Dixon instead, and discover they'd have been better served just having someone kick them in their collective nuts instead of trading a player/pick for Juan Fucking Dixon.


Blue Jackets
The playoffs are a long ways away for this team.

They get up for the good teams, roll over for the shitty ones. Why?? They beat Calgary and San Jose on a home stand in which they also lost to four non-playoff teams (five losses, if you include the come-from-ahead overtime loss [shootout] to St. Louis last night). What the fuck?

Trade talks loom since the deadline is next week, with Brian Berard and Anson Carter the most likely to go.

Prediction
Both Carter and Berard get traded to contenders, with Carter all of a sudden become the 30-goal-scorer the Jackets thought they'd signed, and Berard being a salary dump (coming off injury, he's probably a half-year to a year away from being his old self). The Jackets finish with the third-worst record but somehow get stuck with the 11th pick in the draft lottery.


Can you tell how cynical I am?

Sheesh.

Walking in a Winter Blunderland

So, my brother and sister-in-law gave us their snow-blower for Christmas in 2005 (having moved from Nebraska to North Carolina, they didn't really need it anymore, as you can guess). Ever since that day (roughly 415 days, by my count), we haven't needed it. Even last week, there wasn't enough in our driveway or walk to merit hauling it out and firing it up.

Mother Nature decided enough was enough. I'm happy to report:





We've got about seven inches right now, and we're in the stage of the dreaded "wintery mix" (translation, sleet/freezing rain). My office left me an e-mail this morning to let me know that we were on a 2-hour delay (meaning the office was supposed to open at 10 instead of 8). I went in at my normal time, and sure enough, they closed down at 10.

^{If you live in the white area of this picture, it's not the best of times.}


There is one upside to all of this: our crazy dog, who wants nothing to do with rain, the yard, any kind of grass, or anything that involves leaving the shelter of the house or deck when he goes outside for about 95% of the year...

He just LOVES the snow. Who knows why? Don't believe me?



Want more proof?




His first course of action is to burrow into the snow, face first. He sometimes rolls over onto his back, rolls around, kicks it up in the air, etc. He comes back inside covered in it. We can't figure it out. We have no idea what mix of breeds he is, being that Melissa found him by the side of the highway one day, but we know it's something from the artic.


In other news:

• Show at Skully's next Wednesday night (2/21). We're opening up, so we'll be on stage somewhat earlier for a change. We're supporting Halos Were Found at the Landing Site, who are some space-rock dudes from Dayton. Should be a good show.


• Anna Nicole's dead, drug-addled hooker that she was. The world keeps on spinning. Get over it, people. Cable news, I'm looking in your direction.


• Way to go, Chargers! Fire your coach after going 14-2, after you've lost 5 assistants, including your two coordinators (who both got head coaching jobs, BTW, and probably would rather be coaching the Chargers, as you would probably rather have them instead of the inevitable [insert retread coach, e.g. Norv Turner, here]). Way to go! Now the Browns have two good choices to choose from next year!

I think that's it. Rock on.

In Case You Missed It...

A hearty "fuck you!" to Alonzo Mourning:

And, he was fouled. Terrible no-call.


And, as for you, Kobe, 36 points don't mean jack squat:

LeBron didn't play his best game, but you knew sooner or later Kobe would start missing his double-pivot, turn-around jumpers. And, big ups to Sasha for his inspired play. Where has that been, oh, say, his entire career?

My thoughts on "Lost" with some help from Eddie Vedder

Waiting....

Watching the clock / it's quarter 'till / it's got to stop
Tell them...
Take no more / he practices his speech as Julia opens the door
His mind boils over / he checks his watch as Jack looks her over....

He lies and says he's in love with "Lost"
Can't find a better end
He wonders what happened to polar scans
Can't find a better end
Can't find a better end
Can't fina a better end.... ohohoh


Talkin....

To his wife / they both grow tired of the show
And yet they watch uhhuhhh

Memories back when plot was bold and strong
And waiting for the Others to come along...
Swears it was good, now he swears it's gone
He lies and says hes in love with "Lost"
Can't find that damn island...
He dreams of Desmond, his girl who hunts
Can't find those artic men...
They lie and say they'll fill it in,
Can't tie up those loose ends...
He dreams of Alex, he dreams of droogs,
Can't steal from Kubrick, man...


He loved it, yeah... he don't want to leave this way
They need him, yeah... that's why they tease him again
Can't find a better end
Can't find a better end
Can't find a better end....


**SPOILERS AHEAD***

Seriously, people. What the fuck was that? Other than a physical scare from the whole bus thing, what the hell was there for me to chew on? I mean, I guess the "A Clockwork Orange" ripoff was "inspired", but what was the point of it? They're taking this guy back to the other island with them... so, does that mean we have to learn all about him, too? Melissa and I watched the last episode from November before the new episode came on, and we had forgotten that there were these two new characters on the beach, too. A man, and an annoying woman who asked stupid questions all the time. Why do I care about those people??

It just seems to me like they're only doing creepy/different things for shock value, now, rather than developing the beginnings of the creepy story they had in seasons 1 and 2. Like, whatever happened to the polar monitoring station and Desmond's woman-friend at the end of season 2?? Was that just some red herring? Did they forget about it? Are they on holiday?

I don't know if they take their viewership for granted, or what, but they'd better be careful.

Enough, already

Ok, between my "could cut glass" nipples, the "strangling cat" sound my car made when I started it this morning, and the fact that I had to wrestle a frozen, dead bird away from my dog's jaws of death in the yard last night, I've had about enough of this zero-degrees shit.

Mark Your Calendars, Gentlemen

March 13, 2007. The day the world will change.

It's the day God of War II comes out on PS2.








I know how much my wife loved me playing God of War, both when I borrowed it in the fall of 2005 and then bought a used copy in the summer of 2006.

This new game is going to blow it away. IGN's reviewers posit that it will go down in history as "the best PS2 game ever." Not a bad way to send off a dying system.

For me, just another reason to wait to buy a PS3.

Russ Feingold: My Favorite Senator Who Will Never Sniff the Presidency

Russ Feingold wrote this for TomPaine.com today:

Our founders wisely kept the power to fund a war separate from the power to conduct a war. In their brilliant design of our system of government, Congress got the power of the purse, and the president got the power of the sword. As James Madison wrote, “Those who are to conduct a war cannot in the nature of things, be proper or safe judges, whether a war ought to be commenced, continued or concluded.”

Earlier this week, I chaired a hearing in the Senate Judiciary Committee to remind my colleagues in the Senate that, through the power of the purse, we have the constitutional power to end a war. At the hearing, a wide range of constitutional scholars agreed that Congress can use its power to end a military engagement.

The Constitution gives Congress the explicit power “[to] declare War,” “[t]o raise and support Armies,” “[t]o provide and maintain a Navy” and “[t]o make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces.” In addition, under Article I, “No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law.” These are direct quotes from the Constitution of the United States. Yet to hear some in the Administration talk, it is as if these powers were written in invisible ink. They were not. These powers are a clear and direct statement from the founders of our republic that Congress has authority to declare, to define and, ultimately, to end a war.

If and when Congress acts on the will of the American people by ending our involvement in the Iraq war, Congress will be performing the role assigned it by the founding fathers—defining the nature of our military commitments and acting as a check on a president whose policies are weakening our nation.

There is plenty of precedent for Congress exercising its constitutional authority to stop U.S. involvement in armed conflict.

In late December 1970, Congress prohibited the use of funds for introducing United States ground combat troops into Cambodia or providing U.S. advisors to Cambodian military forces. In late June 1973, Congress set a date to cut off funds for combat activities in Southeast Asia.

More recently, President Clinton signed into law language that prohibited funding after March 31, 1994, for military operations in Somalia, with certain limited exceptions. And in 1998, Congress passed spending legislation that prevented U.S. troops from serving in Bosnia after June 30, 1998, unless the president made certain assurances.

Congress has the power to end military engagements, and there is little doubt that decisive action from the Congress is needed to end U.S. involvement in the war in Iraq. Despite the results of the election, and two months of study and supposed consultation—during which experts and members of Congress from across the political spectrum argued for a new policy—the president has decided to escalate the war. When asked whether he would persist in this policy despite congressional opposition, he replied: “Frankly, that’s not their responsibility.”

Last week Vice President Cheney was asked whether the non-binding resolution passed by the Foreign Relations Committee that will soon be considered by the full Senate would deter the president from escalating the war. He replied: “It’s not going to stop us.”

In the United States of America, the people are sovereign, not the president. It is Congress’ responsibility to challenge an administration that persists in a war that is misguided and that the nation opposes. We cannot simply wring our hands and complain about the administration’s policy. We cannot just pass resolutions saying “your policy is mistaken.” And we can’t stand idly by and tell ourselves that it’s the president’s job to fix the mess he made. It’s our job to fix the mess, too, and if we don’t do so we are abdicating our responsibilities.

Yesterday, I introduced legislation that will prohibit the use of funds to continue the deployment of U.S. forces in Iraq six months after enactment. By prohibiting funds after a specific deadline, Congress can force the president to bring our forces out of Iraq and out of harm’s way.

This legislation will allow the president adequate time to redeploy our troops safely from Iraq, and it will make specific exceptions for a limited number of U.S. troops who must remain in Iraq to conduct targeted counter-terrorism and training missions and protect U.S. personnel. It will not hurt our troops in any way—they will continue receiving their equipment, training, salaries, etc. It will simply prevent the president from continuing to deploy them to Iraq. By passing this bill, we can finally focus on repairing our military and countering the full range of threats that we face around the world.

As the hearing I chaired in the Senate Judiciary Committee made clear, this legislation is fully consistent with the Constitution of the United States. Since the president is adamant about pursuing his failed policies in Iraq, Congress has the duty to stand up and use its constitutional power to stop him. If Congress doesn’t stop this war, it’s not because it doesn’t have the power. It’s because it doesn’t have the will.

A-fucking-men.