Quoth Sir Mix-A-Lot: "Boom - Triple-up - Boom boom boom"

The Indians are still effectively dead to me, but it's always nice when your team pulls a triple play:

^{Cleveland Plain Dealer}

I simply can't allow myself to get my hopes up

Damn you, Browns. There, I've said it. As you can tell from my previous post about last week's pre-season game, I don't give the Browns much chance this year.

So, what do they do? They go on the road in the pre-season game with probably the most meaning (relative term, of course) of the four--the so-called "dress rehearsal" where the starters usually play well into the 3rd quarter--and play pretty well.

I just can't allow myself to get my hopes up. I just can't do it.

Some highlights:

• Whence came this offense? All three quarterbacks looked semi-decent on Saturday. Frye all but clinched an opening day start by directing an opening 80-yard touchdown drive. Included in the drive were a nice 13-yard scramble on third down to pick up a first, and a very very nice fade pass to Braylon Edwards over his shoulder.


• The offensive line hasn't been a liability so far. That's all I'm willing to say at this point.


• Ok, I said it jokingly last week, but... I now hate Phil Dawson. ANOTHER missed field goal. It's getting to the point of being inexcusable.


• Brady Quinn, you're beginning to make a believer out of me. A nice, nice drive against the Broncos' first team defense (and with our second team O-line and running back) that ended with a beautiful touch pass to Jurevicius in the end zone that was in the perfect spot, but was ruled incomplete because the ref didn't think he got his feet in (on replay, I think it merited a challenge, but we'll get to that later on). Another drive after a turnover resulted in a touchdown. I didn't see any badly thrown balls (one drop). Plus, you got your d-bag hair cut (albeit, involuntarily in an apparent hazing ritual). It now solidifies in my mind that Frye starts until the bye week, and then Quinn starts.


• Great question on the PD's "Hey Tony" bit: Hey, Tony: When will Brady Quinn master fumbles, interceptions, false starts, illegal procedures, delays of game and wasting timeouts so he can join the starting unit? Priceless.


• Where the hell is our run defense?


• I touched on the whole coaching thing last week, and while the team generally looked better prepared and focused this week, there are a couple of things I don't get. You're willing to try going for it on 4th and 2 (I assume, I guess, because it's preseason), but you're not willing to challenge the ruling on Jurevicius's catch in the end zone? To me, the goal-post angle showed that he poked his right toe down after catching the ball and the other angle showed his left foot in bounds. Isn't that worth a challenge?? It was a beatiful, back-breaking play. Instead, not even a whimper and we settle instead for a missed field goal.

All in all, though, it was definitely a more inspiring performance, and while probably not a strong indicator of seasonal success, it certainly filled me with hope that the Browns can be more competitive, if not win more games.

At least until someone blows a knee out.

Suckiest Bunch of Sucks that Ever Sucked: The Redux

I'm pretty sure I've used that blog title before in reference to the Browns, so forgive me for plagiarising myself (and for also having now stolen something from myself that I had already previously stolen from the Simpsons, which is where I steal most of my good material anyway...).

Some thoughts after watching Browns JV Football on Saturday:

• I’m now very sold on Antwan Peek. He and Wimbley combined have been the bright spot on an otherwise crap-tacular defense. McGinnest can take his time coming back, if he likes. Peek might have been a FA bargain.


• So long, Derek Anderson. Better get that resume ready. You had me until the "2-burned-timeout, 2-penalty, 1 interception from first and goal at the 2" part of your second drive. Fumbling on the first snap of the fucking game didn’t help, either. When Ken Dorsey makes you look like a chump, it might be time to re-evaluate where you are in life.


• Speaking of getting one’s resume ready, if I were Andra Davis, I’d be looking over my shoulder early and often. Leon Williams may be closer than he appears in the rear-view mirror.


• Give Jamal Lewis the ball more. The way our QBs are playing, it’s the only way the offense has a chance. I say this knowing that he’ll probably break down in week 10.


• While it was nice to see Quinn play well, I’m pretty sure I could have completed one or two of those. Like Terry Pluto pointed out, both Tim Couch and Luke McCown had awesome second-half rallies in the pre-season, once upon a time. I would like to see Quinn get some time with/against starters at some point, possibly this week. He did throw a couple of nice balls, and despite some super-soft coverage was always throwing to the right guy and putting the ball in a spot where our guy and only our guy could catch it. That’s more than I can say for the other bum QBs we have. I hold fast to my feeling that he should start coming out of the bye week. Let Frye get pummeled the first few games.


• Is it time to seriously consider getting a new kicker? I mean, I like kickoffs to the 9 yard line and missed 35 yard field goals as much as the next guy, but...


• Our defensive line still looks soft. And doughy.


• I want to like the coaches. Crennell seems like a nice enough guy. But, I’m tired of reading quotes like: "We didn't have the concentration or the focus that we needed." That’s all on you, Romeo. Further, when Leigh Bodden tweaks his ankle in the SECOND PRE-SEASON GAME, under no circumstances should he ever go back into the game. Put some ice on it and hit the stationary bike, for the love of God. Stuff like that ALL reflects back (poorly, I might add) on the coaching staff, which in turn all falls at the feet of Romeo.


• On a humorous note, I enjoyed (just a little bit) seeing the Browns’ #20 getting run over by TJ Duckett. I could have sworn Earl Little was back out there getting flattened by Duce Staley in Pittsburgh. I’m sure he graded out at 96 and deserves to go to the Pro Bowl, wherever he might be.

All in all, a very disappointing game to watch, Quinn’s first performance notwithstanding. My prediction of 6-10 is now down to 4-12, with us crying in our beers on draft day 2008 as playoff-bound Dallas picks a stud at the #4 pick using our first-rounder.

But, really, why should draft day 2008 be any different than any other disappointment as a Browns fan?

Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust

As Jesus Christ once said, "It is finished."

It would seem that the Indians have all but licked a stamp on the envelope that has their playoff aspirations neatly tucked into it. After a 6-2 loss--at home--at the hands of the Tigers (who, themselves, have been wallowing in suckitude for quite some time as of late) that involved stranding 5 runners on base in the last three innings of a tie game (including the leadoff man on second base in the bottom of the ninth when the score was still 2-2, which was promptly followed by THREE [as in, not one, not two, but THREE] straight strike-outs to end the inning), it is apparent to me that the Tribe is DONE. As in, stick a fork in them.

Some notes:
1) The entire offense (and I mean, ENTIRE) is slumping. They have been for a month. How is that possible?! Hafner is hurting. Martinez, who had been as consistent as humanly possible in the entire first half, looks lost. Sizemore is treading water. The Lofton trade hasn't paid any real discernable dividends. Were it not for Sizrmore's 2-run jimmy in the first inning, they would have been shut out for 10 innings last night by a team that has been struggling to pitch well for the greater part of a month.

2) Speaking of pitching (though directly related to hitting), the Tribe has consistently WASTED tremendous starting pitching since the All Star Break. Tribe starters have been on the ass-end of 1-0 decisions MULTIPLE TIMES in the last month. Inexcusable.

3) Eric Wedge is steadily losing my support. I've always been fairly ambivolent about Wedge's job performance. On one hand, he doesn't always make the best moves, but he's seeming to learn as he goes over the years. This team has grown up together, and their yearly improvement would seem to lend some credence to the idea that Wedge has done *some* things well. But, last night left me scratching my head. Tie game, bottom of the ninth. Leadoff man hits a double. Now, pretty much any and everybody that's ever watched baseball KNOWS you HAVE TO BUNT HIM TO THIRD. It shouldn't even be an option. No thought should have to go into this move. It should be like when the doctor hits that spot under your knee, and your knee jerks. Leadoff man gets to second base with no outs in the bottom of the 9th inning in a tie game = sac bunt. Daniel Webster couldn't convince me otherwise.

But, there was Jhonny Peralta, NOT bunting, and (oh so predictably) striking out. To be fair, the two hitters that followed him struck out as well, but that's neither here nor there. As Lars pointed out to me in an e-mail this morning, if you have no faith that Peralta can't get a bunt down, pinch hit for him with your utility infielder who CAN get a bunt down. What are you saving it for? If you score there, the game's over and it doesn't matter what it does to your lineup.

This isn't rocket science. It's inexplicable.


So, until further notice, I'm now back in my Randy Quaid from Major League 2 role. I'm shoveling dirt on the Tribe's season, because they don't appear to have any fight left in them.

At least I have Browns football to look forward to.

Oh, wait.