A moment of silence for the fuckwits at ESPN...

Forsooth, who now do the media have to group-fellate, with the Yankees out of the playoffs? A moment of silence for the suits at the networks who tried so hard to get the Yankees/Red Sox series that most of the country hates...




Owned. Ownage. Pwned. Own3d. The violins... they play the weepiest music for you, Yankee Fan.

KEN-NY!!! KEN-NY!!! KEN-NY!!!

^{K-Love lets it be known that he's in the zone.}



12 - 3. Damn, dude.

Browns down, Browns up

So, it's been a couple of weeks. The Browns lost to Oakland, who sucks by the way, by going down 16 only to rally back to 17-16, only to go do 26-17, only to rally back and have a last-second 40 yard field goal attempt go through, only to find that the Raiders' coach took advantage of the NFL rule loophole that allows a coach to call timeout from the sideline just as the ball is being snapped on a field goal try, only to have to try the kick again, only to have it blocked.

There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth.


Then the Browns come home and dismantle Baltimore. Now, I know the stats favored the Ravens in every facet... except one: Browns 27, Ravens 13. Suck on that.

Uhh, sorry about that, Derek

I think it was me (yeah, it was) that wrote:

So, do I think the Browns are suddenly going to be awesome, now? Hardly. But, the trade was a necessary move that I think they'd been planning/hoping to make, whether it was sooner or later. It's now Brady Quinn's team. The players know it, and the front office just confirmed it with this move.

I watched the Berea Report last night, and it's fun watching all of our players trying not to say the wrong thing when the reporters try to bait them into picking allegiance to one of the QBs. Braylon Edwards looked like his head was going to explode Scanners-style when they asked him about it. He must have said, "I support whoever goes out there. I just want to play football," at least 7 times. Winslow was similar. Anderson's good, yea, we're fine. If you employ the fine art of listening to what they're not saying, it's pretty obvious they're all ready for Quinn.

I never thought I'd agree with Mary Kay Rotten-Crotch (Cabot), but she was like, You get the sense that they all want Quinn on the field, that it's time. You could tell in the Denver game in pre-season that Brady coming in kind of charged them up, and that they like the way he plays and the way he gets them the ball. The only one to come close to openly saying it was Steve Heiden, who (when asked if Quinn was “ready” before the start of the season, even) said: "You'll have to ask Brady that. But from what I've seen, I think he is."

Now, I don't think the Browns are going to the playoffs, or even going .500, with Quinn. But I think Quinn would give the offense a chance to be a lot better the rest of the year... Quinn's about as ready as he'll ever get at this point, and if the other players on offense want him in there (whether or not they'll come out and say it), it's clear that he probably gives them the best chance to win.

Wow. So, if I told you that a Browns QB went: 20-of-33, 328 yards, and five TDs, one INT, 121.0 rating... you'd probably think that Quinn had started, right? And that I looked like an idiot, right?

Well, you'd be right on one count.

Hey, Derek Anderson... my bad. Anderson played the whole game, and after starting 0-for-5 and hearing the boo birds, he simply went off. Jon and I sat there in astonishment. Edwards and Winslow both had 100-yard receiving days, Edwards had 2 TD catches (including one of the more amazing catches I've ever seen), Winslow had 1, and Jurevicius had two himself.

I can only imagine the "Charlie Frye Suicide Watch" in the Seattle locker room was at Defcon 1.

Add to that the 216 yards Jamal Lewis put up. Jon turned to me after Lewis had broken off the second of his insanely long runs and said something to the effect of, "Man, it sure is nice to see him doing that for us, and not to us."

It was just an offensive outburst... it was like the whole team had been offensively constipated for about 18 months, and finally got a chance to let it all out. The biggest thing that all of these stats say without actually spelling it out: The offensive line looked good yesterday. A 216-yard rusher, NO SACKS. It has to be the best "offensive-line-game" this team has played since they came back in 1999. This was the o-line we thought we were getting in training camp before Steinbach got hurt. Now he's back and looking more comfortable, and he and Joe Thomas simply owned the Bengals d-line on that left side. All of Lewis's big runs came behind Thomas and Steinbach. Also, Tucker comes back after two more games, which will only add more depth to the right side, a side that definitely improved from last week to this. And who knows... Bentley might be able to play some time in the second half of the season, which is even more depth... something the Browns have not had up front in a long time.

This is not to say there weren't things to be concerned with as a Browns fan... like the defense giving up 45 points themselves, including 6 TD passes by Palmer. But, the Bengals' offense is a well-oiled machine. The Browns defense is banged up, but there are some holes that need to be fixed, pronto. While it sucks not having a #1 pick next year, the Browns had better spend early and often in the draft on defensive linemen that can stop the run. The defense still plays this bend-but-don't-break game, but a good offense like the Bengals exploits the cushions they give. Until the Browns can get some push up front with their three down linemen, that's going to continue to be the case.

But, I gotta admit... I don't always like some of what he does (I thought bragging about jumping into the Dawg Pound was disrespectful, but then doing it and bitching about getting showered with beer is cry-baby/punk), but Chad Johnson is a fucking player. He was unstoppable, and some of the catches he made, I would just turn to Jon and say, "He caught that?? How in the fuck did he catch that?"

The whole game was just surreal. It was like watching Louisville and West Virginia play... no defense to be found anywhere!

So, where does this leave the Browns? Certainly not the 0-16 disaster that some were predicting. .500? I doubt it... the schedule is still really tough. But, there's some hope on offense, now, and hopefully there's no longer the distraction/rush of the Brady Quinn soap opera. I'd still be surprised if he's not starting shortly after the bye week, but at this point you ride the hot hand as long as he stays hot, and Anderson earned another start or two yesterday, without a doubt.

They *should* be able to go to Oakland and have a good chance to win, if they play offense like they did yesterday. Ditto with Miami in week 6. Baltimore at home will be tough, and New England on the road is basically a loss. But, if they could somehow sneak into the bye-week at 3-3, it would be cause for serious optimism for the Browns, especially since their schedule lets up just a bit after the bye week. Again, this was just one game. But, if they can build on what they did offensively yesterday going forward, 7 wins isn't entirely out of the question anymore. We'll just have to wait and see.

Most importantly, though... I also said:

As I said to a friend Tuesday: there are so many holes in the dam, but if they could patch one, it would give them the opportunity to bail water from the other problem areas. And, while trading Frye and paving the way for Quinn may look frantic and disorganized to the collective NFL media as a whole, Savage may have just stuck his finger into that hole in the dam.

At least for one week, the offense didn't leak any water. Now, if they can keep it that way and figure out how to bail some water out of the defensive boat, they might just have something here.

At least Norm MacDonald used to overtly call it "the fake news"

"Good evening everybody... and now, the fake news."

So began every Saturday Night Live Weekend Update sketch with Norm MacDonald at the desk. Perhaps ABC should consider adopting something similar...

The more I read about this whole Alexis Debat thing, the more it stinks. For more background, consider the following:
Washington Post
Attywood (this is a good one; very comprehensive of all of the ramifications and dovetails)
ABC News Blotter

From the Post:

A former consultant to ABC's investigative unit admitted yesterday that he put his name on a purported interview with Barack Obama that he never conducted.

Alexis Debat, a former French defense official who now works at the Nixon Center, published the interview in the French magazine Politique Internationale. He said he had hired a freelance journalist to conduct the interview, in which the Democratic presidential candidate supposedly said that Iraq was "already a defeat for America" that has "wasted thousands of lives." Debat said he had been unable to locate the intermediary, and the Obama campaign says no such interview took place.

From ABC:

Former President Bill Clinton, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Microsoft founder Bill Gates and former U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan have added their names to the list of people who say they were the subjects of fake interviews published in a French foreign affairs journal under the name of Alexis Debat, a former ABC News consultant.

See a connecting thread between all of these "fake interview" subjects? If the Obama quotes are any indication, they're all anti-war people on the left, and are/were all painted as hippie pinkos in an effort to make them politically weak (although, how Gates fits in is a bit of a mystery to me... maybe the terrorists use Macs?).

From Attywood:

Debat -- a former French defense official who now works at the (no, you can't make these things up) Nixon Center -- has also been a leading source in pounding the drumbeat for war in Iran, and directly linked to some bizarre stories -- reported on ABC's widely watched news shows, and nowhere else -- that either ratcheted up fears of terrorism or that could have stoked new tensions between Washington and Tehran.

Good God... though ABC's Brian Ross says his information about Al-Qaida was generally "spot on," dude apparently could never prove he had a Ph.D., and is blaming these ghost interviews on free-lance consultants who apparently don't exist and/or can't be tracked down.

I, along with many, blamed the media's rubber stamping of the Iraq war on simple journalistic incompetence. But, does it run deeper than that? This dude is the "terrorism expert" on one of the major networks, and at the same time is publishing/reporting shit that either never happened or can't be corroborated--all while holding a prominent seat in a Washington conservative think-tank group?

Here's the one that kills me (from the ABC Blotter):

In fact, Stephane Dujarric, the deputy communications director for the U.N. secretary-general, said he called the fabricated interview to the attention of the editor of the magazine, Patrick Wajsman, in June 2005.

"I told him that if he went ahead with it, we would denounce the interview as a fake," the U.N. official said. "This was not some obscure guy. This was the sitting secretary-general of the U.N., and the magazine was told it was a fake," he said.

Despite that, Debat continued for the next two years to be cited as the author of interviews with a range of prominent U.S. public officials in Politique Internationale.

The U.N. official said a second supposed interview of Annan by Debat, posted earlier this year by Politique Internationale, was actually portions of a speech the secretary-general had given at Princeton University.

The magazine editor, Wajsman, told ABCNews.com he thought the problem with the Annan interview, one of the first he submitted, was "maybe a technical one" or a misunderstanding.

***

Debat told ABCNews.com yesterday the interview of Sen. Obama was not a fake but conducted for him by a freelance journalist named Rob Sherman in Chicago.

Debat says he believes he was "scammed" by Sherman, who he says he paid $500 to conduct an interview with the senator.

Repeated calls to a number for Sherman provided by Debat have gone unanswered, and today a reporter for the Daily Herald in suburban Chicago told ABC News the address for Sherman on a fax that Debat said he received from him does not exist.

Now THAT'S some journalistic incompetence! It's called fucking FACT CHECKING. And, when a spokesperson for the fucking SECRETARY GENERAL OF THE UN SAYS YOUR INTERVIEW IS FAKE, you should probably do a little legwork yourself. When they point out that it was pulled from a public speech he gave, maybe that should raise a red flag. And, I'm no free-lance journalist, but if you're sending me to interview a presidential candidate, I'm asking for a little more than $500. That would raise a red-flag for me, too.

But, what's the motivation? As Attywood asks:

But what is really going on? Is Debat pulling sensational stories from thin air, as was the case with Obama, to make a name for himself? Or in his role at the Nixon Center -- which still has close ties to Henry Kissinger and others in the conservatve foreign policy establishment like former Secretary of State James Baker, who spoke there recently-- is he serving a higher agenda of spin?

We may never know, as these people tend to circle the wagons better than any others in recorded history (see: Libby, Scooter).

The fact remains that Debat was the primary source for much of ABC's content relating to Iran and/or possible military/terrorist activity there. And, as we are all taught in kindergarten, where there's smoke there's usually fire.

Attywood:

His work should cause a re-examination of all of ABC News' investigative reporting on both terrorism and Iran over the last couple of years, because -- wittingly or unwittingly -- no other network has better served the Bush agenda in the Middle East.

For example, no story raised tension on the Iranian front more than this one -- which was instantly discredited by several knowledgable experts:

Iran has more than tripled its ability to produce enriched uranium in the last three months, adding some 1,000 centrifuges which are used to separate radioactive particles from the raw material.

The development means Iran could have enough material for a nuclear bomb by 2009, sources familiar with the dramatic upgrade tell ABC News.

The sources say the unexpected expansion is taking place at Iran's nuclear enrichment plant outside the city of Natanz, in a hardened facility 70 feet underground.

Was Debat -- who was aggressively working with Ross on other Iran stories at the time -- one of the sources on this, as well? If so, it would fit with Debat's modus operandi on the Times of London article.

As noted at the top, there are two radically different ways to look at this scandal. Either Debat is a lone wolf, a deluded self-aggrandizer whose main agenda is promoting himself. Or he is acting in his role at the Nixon Center as a conduit, spreading information and occasional disinformation at the behest of others.

Either way, this is unarguably yet another huge black eye for the American media. But if the latter is true, it could also raise major questions about American foreign policy, and about the future of war and peace in the Persian Gulf.

Some of my questions:

• The righties howled at Dan Rather in 2004 about the Bush/Air National Guard stuff that, while probably still true, couldn't be substantiated and referenced an apparently forged document... where are they and their megaphones now?


• How far down does this rabbit hole really go?


• How much of the news that we get in this country can we actually trust anymore?


• When does the population of this country get off its collective ass and demand more--both in terms of substance and of accountability--from its government and its media?

The US may never attack Iran, but if it does, after what we now know about the 2002/2003 reports of Iraq's WMD capabilities--as well as the continuing grizzly aftermath of our invasion--how can we honestly allow ourselves to place faith in the decision-makers that we're being told the truth?

Scary/disheatening shit, man. And this right as we commemorate 9/11 for the 6th unfortunate time. I'm no tin-foil hat wearer by any means, but it makes you wonder.

After considerable (in)digestion

I can't believe I'm actually writing this. I've had a day or two to digest the frantic Charlie Frye deal made by my beloved Cleveland Browns. There are many ripping the move, calling it "the act of a desperate team," and saying the team has "no plan" and no idea what it is doing.

I didn't disagree with those assessments upon hearing the news, though I myself was not sad to see Frye go (as you might surmise from my post below). But, the more I read, see, and hear (and read between the lines of what the players and the GM are saying), the more you can see they really do have a plan. Quoth Bill Livingston:

This was a big reversal of field after General Manager Phil Savage pleaded for the chance to see Frye with all the components of a respectable offense in place. Anything that gets Brady Quinn closer to putting down the clipboard and taking the snaps, however, is a positive move.

It's really always been about Brady Quinn. Savage announced in pre-season that the club had two tracks: the Frye/Anderson track to keep the team afloat, and the Brady Quinn development track. The only thing he couldn't tell us was when those two tracks converged. Apparently, the Frye/Anderson road took a big turn toward the Quinn road on Sunday, whether or not the team wanted it to.

More from Livy:

Frye was ill-served here with a revolving door of offensive coordinators, but so was Bernie Kosar years ago. Kosar also lacked Frye's good, but not great, athleticism. The difference is that Kosar proved quickly that he could play.

The feeling is that most of Quinn's teammates have that sense about him.

Amen. Let's face it: Charlie Frye was horrible on Sunday, and showed no indication that he had improved AT ALL over the course of his two-plus years in Cleveland. Whether that's entirely his fault, who can say. What I can say with fairly strong certainty is that the man has little field vision, no ability to read a defense pre-snap, and little sense as to when to get rid of the football and to whom it should go, a trait that is highly amplified when he's under duress.

It's like you can almost see the little angel and devil on his shoulder debating whether he should take off and run and try to make some crazy, University of Akron style throw on the run into triple coverage or whether he should stay in the pocket and try to make his reads through his progressions. Usually, the debate would take so long that before he could do one or the other he'd just get buried under a pile of defenders.

So, where does that leave the Browns? Livy?

The Browns look chaotic by doing this now. Yet trading a below-average quarterback who beat up on stiffs after a debacle isn't a big deal.

Word. While it appears that they are in total disarray, I'm beginning to think that's not really the case--maybe they're only in moderate disarray. Phil Savage basically alluded to the fact that, had one of the QBs played better in the pre-season, this trade (or a similar one for Anderson) would have happened then.

It also makes sense from the standpoint that, should they have held onto Frye and he had gone out and sharted his pants again on Sunday, his value would be completely in the crapper. And finally, there is also some degree of truth to the fact that they could have missed out on getting Dorsey back as the "mentor" to Quinn as he ramps up to get ready to play. So, while it's embarrassing that the Browns are the first team since the AFL/NFL merger in 1970 to trade the QB that started week 1 before the next game even happens, it was also a necessary means to an end, and we're not exactly talking about the second coming of Joe Montana getting traded, here.

So, the plan always was to tread water until Quinn was ready, but the suckiness of both veteran QBs in camp and on Sunday made the water a little choppier and has now accelerated that process. This made one of them expendable. Frye probably had more value on the trade market (I honestly still can't believe they got a 6th round pick for him) than Anderson, and now Anderson keeps the seat warm for Quinn. Frye being gone means Quinn gets more practice reps, which means he's ready to play sooner.

Many ask the question: well, wouldn't it have been smarter to axe one of these chodes in the pre-season to make room for Quinn? Yes, but since neither of them appeared to be any good, and since Quinn missed SO MUCH time due to his hold-out, Savage had to keep them both as a quasi-insurance policy (granted, a shitty one, but you get the idea).

So, do I think the Browns are suddenly going to be awesome, now? Hardly. But, the trade was a necessary move that I think they'd been planning/hoping to make, whether it was sooner or later. It's now Brady Quinn's team. The players know it, and the front office just confirmed it with this move.

I watched the Berea Report last night, and it's fun watching all of our players trying not to say the wrong thing when the reporters try to bait them into picking allegiance to one of the QBs. Braylon Edwards looked like his head was going to explode Scanners-style when they asked him about it. He must have said, "I support whoever goes out there. I just want to play football," at least 7 times. Winslow was similar. Anderson's good, yea, we're fine. If you employ the fine art of listening to what they're not saying, it's pretty obvious they're all ready for Quinn.

I never thought I'd agree with Mary Kay Rotten-Crotch (Cabot), but she was like, You get the sense that they all want Quinn on the field, that it's time. You could tell in the Denver game in pre-season that Brady coming in kind of charged them up, and that they like the way he plays and the way he gets them the ball. The only one to come close to openly saying it was Steve Heiden, who (when asked if Quinn was “ready” before the start of the season, even) said: "You'll have to ask Brady that. But from what I've seen, I think he is."

Now, I don't think the Browns are going to the playoffs, or even going .500, with Quinn. But I think Quinn would give the offense a chance to be a lot better the rest of the year. As I said to a friend Tuesday: there are so many holes in the dam, but if they could patch one, it would give them the opportunity to bail water from the other problem areas. And, while trading Frye and paving the way for Quinn may look frantic and disorganized to the collective NFL media as a whole, Savage may have just stuck his finger into that hole in the dam.

Quinn's about as ready as he'll ever get at this point, and if the other players on offense want him in there (whether or not they'll come out and say it), it's clear that he probably gives them the best chance to win.

And, this trade brings us one step closer to that happening.

Don't let the doorknob hit ya where the Good Lord split ya.

Charlie Frye has been traded.

Meh.

I don't really have much of a reaction, other than it was time. Dude looked like he flipped a switch on Sunday after kickoff that caused him to revert back to total rookie form.

My guess would be Dorsey gets re-signed and starts on Sunday. While this isn't the greatest of solutions, it does two things:
1) It puts the guy who probably knows the offense the best into the game, and
2) It means they're ready to start preparing Quinn to start sooner rather than later.

If they had force-fed the fans five more games of the Frye/Anderson rotating carousel of cow-plop..... ugh.


What I can't figure out is why a team would willfully give up a draft pick for this no-field-vision-holds-onto-the-ball-too-long-weak-armed-porno-crustache-having clod.

In all fairness, I wish him the best. It was obvious from day 1 that Charlie cared, that he worked hard, and that he has nothing but the most in terms of moxie and heart. It's just too bad he doesn't have that much talent at playing QB in the NFL.

Is "shit-tacular" a word?

If it is, it would seem to be the best word to describe the football of this weekend.

Lloyd must go. Romeo must go.

Weighing In

Hello, all two of you. It's been awhile! So, what's going on in Dan Land? You guessed it... BULLETED LIST TIME!

• Browns went with Frye as the starting QB, and haven't yet named a backup. They kept Derek Anderson (which surprised me, as you might guess from my posts below) and got rid of Ken Dorsey. I don't know what God Anderson prays to, but I suspect many offerings were made over the weekend.


• I played two rounds of golf this past weekend, and am looking forward to another this weekend with my good buddy Jon, in advance of our pilgrimage to the Browns home opener this weekend. The courses look hard as hell, and I suspect my lunch will be handed to me early and often. In case you haven't heard, I'm not that good at golf.


• The Tribe went 5-0 against reigning Cy Young winner Johan Santana this season. I only feel safe in saying that since we will not face Santana again this year, thus making me unable to jinx any further 2007 appearances against him. First time ever a team has gone 5-0 against a reigning Cy Young winner.


• I'm only going to talk about this once, because I have grown tired of it already (thanks, ESPN). You all only get one free shot, so make it count. I can make no excuses for Michigan losing to Appalachian State. None. But, here are some things to consider, while trying to "rank" how "embarrassing" this game may have been. You may call them excuses if you wish, I don't care. Again, I'm making no excuses for the game itself; Michigan got outplayed, made too many mistakes, and had some questionable coaching moves. For your consideration:
  
  1. "Dan, it was the first time a 1-AA team EVER beat a ranked AP team!!! LOL!"
  Consider that it was the pre-season ranking, and that now Michigan is no longer ranked. Aren't there teams ranked too highly every year in the pre-season? If the BCS accounts for teams' rankings as they change, shouldn't it be the same, here, too? Michigan clearly is/was not the #5 team in the country, and it was a ranking assigned to them based on pre-season projections. Had this been week 7 and Michigan had already crushed two or three decently ranked teams, then by all means... call Elias Sports Bureau.
  
  2. Appalachian State isn't a run-of-the-mill 1-AA team.
  First, let me say I'm NOT letting my boys off the hook: Michigan still should have won the game, and if they played 10 times this year, UofM would probably go 9-1 against them. That said, remember that Appalachian State is probably going to be the #1 ranked 1-AA school the entire year (two-time defending national champs with a win against Michigan now), whereas Michigan is now currently out of the polls (see above); the AP voters certainly don't think they're one of the top 25 in the country anymore. And, one could argue/guess that, if ASU was in division 1-A, they would probably come in as maybe 70th out of 119 teams (let's be honest, there are some SHITTY 1-A teams out there). So, does it make the ASU win look a little less of a monumental upset if you consider it a 70-over-at-least-26 upset? 16-over-a-1 in the basketball tournament, I don't think so. This isn't some team with a 15-19 record winning a play-in game beating Florida in the baseketball tourney. Applachian State is a good fucking team, albeit playing in a smaller division. I mean, hell... the Cleveland Browns beat two AFC playoff teams last season! Consider this post from a sports blog, which I read as part of CNNSI's coverage:
  
  I do not think Appalachian State is getting enough respect here. If I believed everything I'm reading, I would think a ragtag group of high school kids just beat the Colts or the Patriots. This is HARDLY the case!
  
  Appalachian State is, obviously, the best team that 1-AA has to offer. They have won the 1-AA title two years in a row and have some really good players on there. While I don't think they would be worldbeaters in 1-A, I do think that in the right situation they would be respectable and make it to a bowl.
  
  Put another way: I would consider Michigan getting beat by some sorry 1-A also-ran like UCONN, Florida International or even Indiana a MUCH bigger upset than this. (BTW that hurts, because I am a UCONN fan). This is an upset for all time, but let's chill out on the hyperbole, just a little bit.
  
  3. Big Ten fans should remember where they come from.
  Make fun of us? Sure, why not? I've lived in Columbus long enough that I've heard it all. But, rememeber, after 9 months of hearing how bad the Big Ten is, how does this help you, OSU fan? Or you, Penn State fan? It doesn't. It makes your team look just a little bit worse, simply by association. What if Michigan beats you later this season? I'm sure you can all take the Peter Gibbons defense ("Yeah? Well that may be. But at least I never slept with Lumberg."), I guess, but you can't deny the fact that it makes the conference look worse.
  
  4. At least we didn't lose our home opener by 30, like Notre Dame did.
  This doesn't really help Michigan at all. It does, however, make me feel just a little bit better. Why? Because fuck Notre Dame, that's why.
  
  I've said my piece. I'm over it. It's like I told friends: I look at it now like the beginning of any Browns season. Whatever expectations I had are now gone, so I'm not going to dwell on it anymore. I'll just drink my beers, eat my chicken wings and bratwursts, and enjoy the so-called football. Everything else is gravy.


• House of Cards played a lack-luster show this past Saturday night at Scarlet and Grey. Nothing really important here, other than we're at least back to playing after my self-imposed hiatus while changing jobs and going to Ireland.


• Speaking of which, I changed jobs. Not sure if I mentioned that here. Onward and upward! I now work for my old company's parent company's Global Production and Manufacturing group, doing project management for our Pegasus online LMS/Assessment platform. I'll leave you all to discuss what that might mean in the grand scheme of things.


• And, speaking of Ireland, we finally got pictures uploaded and sent around on Snapfish. If you were not one of the lucky ones to receive the honor of seeing these pictures, please e-mail me and I will send them your way. Also, I do actually plan to document our trip here, but as we know I'm a lazy blogger and that has fallen pretty far down on the old "to do" list of late.


• Along the lines of e-mailing me, if anyone reading here was planning on finding themselves tailgating/pre-gaming for the Browns home opener this weekend, and would like to meet up for a drink (*cough*Steve*cough*), please e-mail me as well.


• Michael Vick. Hmm. Jon touched on this in his most recent entry (in short, he's tired of hearing about it, thinks Vick shouldn't be allowed back in the NFL, and is annoyed by people crying that it's a race issue). Rather than leave a huge-ass comment, I'll post my thoughts here:
  I totally agree. The climate of the news media in this country over the past five to six years has become such that I can barely even watch anymore. It's become all about selling papers/magazines, and getting eyeballs glued to TV sets. In the world of infinte 24-hour news (including ESPN) channels, everyone is clammoring for something to broadcast, to get people to watch, to get the ad dollars. They no longer care as much about the news as they do about being unique, and making money off of people (and, one could argue, off of people's tragedy). I mean, I love "Showdown: Iraq!" and "Terror at Virginia Tech" graphics and theme music as much as the next guy, but...
  
  It gives platforms to people who shouldn't have them, be they political hacks and blow-hards from both sides of the aisle, the Nancy Graces of the world who will say anything to be controversial, and have no real business being on TV, and in the sports world, people like Pedro Gomez (whose only job most of the last two years has been filing daily reports about Barry Bonds). It trivializes journalism to the point where the real journalists left in this country are so hard to find, it drives people like me away from the media altogether, and creates a largely dumbed-down population who only get sound bites and watered down news.
  
  The reason I take this round-about relative to Michael Vick is twofold:
  1: This allows people to further agendas, such as "Oh, this is about race." No, it really, really isn't. Just like Chris Rock's old rant/joke about OJ Simpson: "This isn't about race, it's about fame. If OJ wasn't famous, this wouldn't be news. If OJ drove a bus, he wouldn't even be OJ. He'd be Orenthal, the Bus-Drivin' Murderer." But, I digress. There's no way to say that Vick is being treated in a racially unfair way, because a white NFL quarterback has never been federally indicted for running a dog-fighting ring and executing dogs. How can you compare and say Vick is being treated unfairly because he's black? If anything, he's being treated unfairly by the media, but not by the Justice System. And, do we honestly think the media would let a story about a famous white person go, if he/she we accused in a federal trial for *anything*? It's not like the Feds had some circumstancial case and Vick is/was being railroaded. It really is all about fame. If it was me going to trial for this, seeing as how I don't have any money to hire awesome lawyers, I'm going to the clink for a long time, and I can damn-sure bet you wouldn't be hearing about this on your 6 o'clock news unless you lived in Columbus, and even then the story would come and go in a matter of days. Vick's going to be getting off easy, if anything.
  
  And, 2: I love my dog, and neither my wife nor I could imagine our lives without him. I think what Vick and his co-defendents are/were accused of doing is horrible, and I could never imagine doing such things to ANY living thing, for entertainment or otherwise. But let's not miss the bigger picture as well: while this stuff is totally cruel, inhumane, and makes my stomach turn, it also saddens me that there are tens of millions of adults and children in the country without health care, and there are American soldiers dying every day for no discernable (to my eyes, anyway) reason in Iraq. Shouldn't the media be talking more about that shit, too? I know Michael Vick puts butts in seats and gets the protesters out in force for both sides, but can't we all agree that there are bigger fucking issues that we should be dealing with?
  
  As to whether or not Vick should play again, I'm fairly ambivolent. He's going to have to prove a lot to ever really get a chance to do so, because the American public will not be quick to forget this. The other thing to remember is that new commish Roger Goodell is ruling with a pretty iron fist, and this thing has been embarrassing to him and his league. He won't let that go by lightly. Vick has AT LEAST a year to sit AFTER he gets out of the can, if not longer. I've heard 2010 at the earliest. That makes him 31 (I believe), and having not played NFL football for 3 years. Again, he's going to have a lot to prove, even just from a physical standpoint, to make it back to the League. And this is a QB who was never that great a passer to begin with, a QB who runs first, and who will at that time be past his relative prime as an athlete. As Red said in The Shawshenk Redemption, "They send you here for life, and that's exactly what they take." Time slows for no one, man.


• Damn, that was a long-ass, John Kerry style bullet point! Karl Rove would fire my ass immediately!


• My work fantasy football draft was yesterday. My team eats it. Raw. My Browns-Tailgater-Crew team is much better, and that was a computer auto-draft as I was out of town. The lesson? I think you know.

Well, that's all folks. Hope your eyes don't hurt.

Quoth Sir Mix-A-Lot: "Boom - Triple-up - Boom boom boom"

The Indians are still effectively dead to me, but it's always nice when your team pulls a triple play:

^{Cleveland Plain Dealer}

I simply can't allow myself to get my hopes up

Damn you, Browns. There, I've said it. As you can tell from my previous post about last week's pre-season game, I don't give the Browns much chance this year.

So, what do they do? They go on the road in the pre-season game with probably the most meaning (relative term, of course) of the four--the so-called "dress rehearsal" where the starters usually play well into the 3rd quarter--and play pretty well.

I just can't allow myself to get my hopes up. I just can't do it.

Some highlights:

• Whence came this offense? All three quarterbacks looked semi-decent on Saturday. Frye all but clinched an opening day start by directing an opening 80-yard touchdown drive. Included in the drive were a nice 13-yard scramble on third down to pick up a first, and a very very nice fade pass to Braylon Edwards over his shoulder.


• The offensive line hasn't been a liability so far. That's all I'm willing to say at this point.


• Ok, I said it jokingly last week, but... I now hate Phil Dawson. ANOTHER missed field goal. It's getting to the point of being inexcusable.


• Brady Quinn, you're beginning to make a believer out of me. A nice, nice drive against the Broncos' first team defense (and with our second team O-line and running back) that ended with a beautiful touch pass to Jurevicius in the end zone that was in the perfect spot, but was ruled incomplete because the ref didn't think he got his feet in (on replay, I think it merited a challenge, but we'll get to that later on). Another drive after a turnover resulted in a touchdown. I didn't see any badly thrown balls (one drop). Plus, you got your d-bag hair cut (albeit, involuntarily in an apparent hazing ritual). It now solidifies in my mind that Frye starts until the bye week, and then Quinn starts.


• Great question on the PD's "Hey Tony" bit: Hey, Tony: When will Brady Quinn master fumbles, interceptions, false starts, illegal procedures, delays of game and wasting timeouts so he can join the starting unit? Priceless.


• Where the hell is our run defense?


• I touched on the whole coaching thing last week, and while the team generally looked better prepared and focused this week, there are a couple of things I don't get. You're willing to try going for it on 4th and 2 (I assume, I guess, because it's preseason), but you're not willing to challenge the ruling on Jurevicius's catch in the end zone? To me, the goal-post angle showed that he poked his right toe down after catching the ball and the other angle showed his left foot in bounds. Isn't that worth a challenge?? It was a beatiful, back-breaking play. Instead, not even a whimper and we settle instead for a missed field goal.

All in all, though, it was definitely a more inspiring performance, and while probably not a strong indicator of seasonal success, it certainly filled me with hope that the Browns can be more competitive, if not win more games.

At least until someone blows a knee out.

Suckiest Bunch of Sucks that Ever Sucked: The Redux

I'm pretty sure I've used that blog title before in reference to the Browns, so forgive me for plagiarising myself (and for also having now stolen something from myself that I had already previously stolen from the Simpsons, which is where I steal most of my good material anyway...).

Some thoughts after watching Browns JV Football on Saturday:

• I’m now very sold on Antwan Peek. He and Wimbley combined have been the bright spot on an otherwise crap-tacular defense. McGinnest can take his time coming back, if he likes. Peek might have been a FA bargain.


• So long, Derek Anderson. Better get that resume ready. You had me until the "2-burned-timeout, 2-penalty, 1 interception from first and goal at the 2" part of your second drive. Fumbling on the first snap of the fucking game didn’t help, either. When Ken Dorsey makes you look like a chump, it might be time to re-evaluate where you are in life.


• Speaking of getting one’s resume ready, if I were Andra Davis, I’d be looking over my shoulder early and often. Leon Williams may be closer than he appears in the rear-view mirror.


• Give Jamal Lewis the ball more. The way our QBs are playing, it’s the only way the offense has a chance. I say this knowing that he’ll probably break down in week 10.


• While it was nice to see Quinn play well, I’m pretty sure I could have completed one or two of those. Like Terry Pluto pointed out, both Tim Couch and Luke McCown had awesome second-half rallies in the pre-season, once upon a time. I would like to see Quinn get some time with/against starters at some point, possibly this week. He did throw a couple of nice balls, and despite some super-soft coverage was always throwing to the right guy and putting the ball in a spot where our guy and only our guy could catch it. That’s more than I can say for the other bum QBs we have. I hold fast to my feeling that he should start coming out of the bye week. Let Frye get pummeled the first few games.


• Is it time to seriously consider getting a new kicker? I mean, I like kickoffs to the 9 yard line and missed 35 yard field goals as much as the next guy, but...


• Our defensive line still looks soft. And doughy.


• I want to like the coaches. Crennell seems like a nice enough guy. But, I’m tired of reading quotes like: "We didn't have the concentration or the focus that we needed." That’s all on you, Romeo. Further, when Leigh Bodden tweaks his ankle in the SECOND PRE-SEASON GAME, under no circumstances should he ever go back into the game. Put some ice on it and hit the stationary bike, for the love of God. Stuff like that ALL reflects back (poorly, I might add) on the coaching staff, which in turn all falls at the feet of Romeo.


• On a humorous note, I enjoyed (just a little bit) seeing the Browns’ #20 getting run over by TJ Duckett. I could have sworn Earl Little was back out there getting flattened by Duce Staley in Pittsburgh. I’m sure he graded out at 96 and deserves to go to the Pro Bowl, wherever he might be.

All in all, a very disappointing game to watch, Quinn’s first performance notwithstanding. My prediction of 6-10 is now down to 4-12, with us crying in our beers on draft day 2008 as playoff-bound Dallas picks a stud at the #4 pick using our first-rounder.

But, really, why should draft day 2008 be any different than any other disappointment as a Browns fan?

Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust

As Jesus Christ once said, "It is finished."

It would seem that the Indians have all but licked a stamp on the envelope that has their playoff aspirations neatly tucked into it. After a 6-2 loss--at home--at the hands of the Tigers (who, themselves, have been wallowing in suckitude for quite some time as of late) that involved stranding 5 runners on base in the last three innings of a tie game (including the leadoff man on second base in the bottom of the ninth when the score was still 2-2, which was promptly followed by THREE [as in, not one, not two, but THREE] straight strike-outs to end the inning), it is apparent to me that the Tribe is DONE. As in, stick a fork in them.

Some notes:
1) The entire offense (and I mean, ENTIRE) is slumping. They have been for a month. How is that possible?! Hafner is hurting. Martinez, who had been as consistent as humanly possible in the entire first half, looks lost. Sizemore is treading water. The Lofton trade hasn't paid any real discernable dividends. Were it not for Sizrmore's 2-run jimmy in the first inning, they would have been shut out for 10 innings last night by a team that has been struggling to pitch well for the greater part of a month.

2) Speaking of pitching (though directly related to hitting), the Tribe has consistently WASTED tremendous starting pitching since the All Star Break. Tribe starters have been on the ass-end of 1-0 decisions MULTIPLE TIMES in the last month. Inexcusable.

3) Eric Wedge is steadily losing my support. I've always been fairly ambivolent about Wedge's job performance. On one hand, he doesn't always make the best moves, but he's seeming to learn as he goes over the years. This team has grown up together, and their yearly improvement would seem to lend some credence to the idea that Wedge has done *some* things well. But, last night left me scratching my head. Tie game, bottom of the ninth. Leadoff man hits a double. Now, pretty much any and everybody that's ever watched baseball KNOWS you HAVE TO BUNT HIM TO THIRD. It shouldn't even be an option. No thought should have to go into this move. It should be like when the doctor hits that spot under your knee, and your knee jerks. Leadoff man gets to second base with no outs in the bottom of the 9th inning in a tie game = sac bunt. Daniel Webster couldn't convince me otherwise.

But, there was Jhonny Peralta, NOT bunting, and (oh so predictably) striking out. To be fair, the two hitters that followed him struck out as well, but that's neither here nor there. As Lars pointed out to me in an e-mail this morning, if you have no faith that Peralta can't get a bunt down, pinch hit for him with your utility infielder who CAN get a bunt down. What are you saving it for? If you score there, the game's over and it doesn't matter what it does to your lineup.

This isn't rocket science. It's inexplicable.


So, until further notice, I'm now back in my Randy Quaid from Major League 2 role. I'm shoveling dirt on the Tribe's season, because they don't appear to have any fight left in them.

At least I have Browns football to look forward to.

Oh, wait.

Funniest Road Sign Ever, a.k.a. The Name of All of My Fantasy Football Teams This Year

While driving in, around, over, and through Ireland, Melissa and I happened upon this one road sign, which will pretty much be at the top of the "Random Road Signs" Pantheon for the foreseeable future. I give you:

Tribe puts Christmas tree up early; looks under it; finds a Pronk

^{Sports Illustrated}
The Indians bagged themselves four more years of Pronk.

And for less money than most people thought, too. Think his .262/14/57 (as compared to .322/25/74 at the break last season) has anything to do with it? Now, I think two things will happen, one of them good, one of them not so good.

1) Hafner will settle in, no longer worrying about all of this contract pressure crap, and will go on the kind of second half tear we're used to seeing (hopefully without getting hit by a pitch to put him on the DL for a month, unlike the last two years--tangent alert!--for a good time, ask Larz about the 2005 plunking from Mark Buehrle and get out of the way... it's a fun exercise). If he starts hitting like he normally would, the rest of the league should watch out.
Grade: Thumbs Up

And...

^{Sports Illustrated}
2) The Tribe FO will let C.C. Sabathia walk after next season. Come on; the notoriously tight-assed Larry Dolan just committed $90 million to Jake Westbrook and to Pronk. I think deep down, the Tribe Brass know that Sabathia has pitched himself so far out of their mid-market price-range (I'm thinking he's probably going to get Barry Zito/Johan Santana-type money, to compare some young/comparable lefties) that they're going to lock everyone else up (which they've done quite nicely, BTW) and hope and pray that they win a World Series in 2007 or 2008 while they have him. They'll pull a Thome move and offer him something that they know he won't take, and say, "See? We tried."
Grade: Meh/Thumbs Down

I know in my heart they probably can't keep Sabathia, unless Dick Jacobs comes back and starts paying to keep players like he did in the mid- to late-90's. Dolan has always said he'd "spend when the time was right," but given the fact that the fans have not yet come back like they should be doing (the team has 52 wins at the all star break, people!!) he may be hesitant to plunk down $130 million to keep C.C..

But, hey... it's a start. And, if the Tribe somehow were to put it together and win it this year or next, it would certainly soften the blow of losing the Big Lefty.

It's just nice to have Pronk around for a few more years.

Stepping Lightly

I've been wondering what sort of a post can follow up a quasi-eulogy for someone so wonderful, and it's been like on Studio 60 where, during flashbacks, we learned how hard it was to find something to make fun of after 9/11.

However, I went to CNN.com this morning, and found the story that irks me enough to pick up the proverbial pen again.

The President commuted Scooter Libby's prison sentence.

In a written statement commuting the prison sentence, issued hours after Monday's ruling, Bush called the sentence "excessive," and suggested that Libby will pay a big enough price for his conviction.

"The consequences of his felony conviction on his former life as a lawyer, public servant, and private citizen will be long-lasting," he said.

I'm sure they will. Apparently, perjury, obstruction of justice, and lying to investigators IN A CASE OF TREASON isn't really grounds for prison these days. I mean, hasn't poor Scooter suffered enough?? The toll all of that lying and grenade-falling-on must have taken... I mean, I don't know how he made it through!

Seriously, though, what kind of precedent does this set?

Plame had worked in the CIA's counter-proliferation division before the March 2003 invasion. She told a congressional committee in March that her exposure effectively ended her career and endangered "entire networks" of agents overseas.

That's not grounds for going to jail? Two and a half years in prison for *that* is "excessive"? What the fuck??

Nancy Pelosi ain't high on my list right now, but for once I agree with her:

Reaction on Capitol Hill was swift. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-California, said the president had "abandoned all sense of fairness when it comes to justice."

"The president's commutation of Scooter Libby's prison sentence does not serve justice, condones criminal conduct, and is a betrayal of trust of the American people," she said.

Exactly. You know if I leaked a CIA operative's name and/or lied to cover it up, I'd be in freaking maximum security Guantanimo right now. I probably wouldn't even get a trial. If I did, there's no way I could afford any kind of solvent legal representation. Equal justice under the law, indeed. Worse, still, is that Libby is appealing his conviction. If he can drag it out long enough, Bush probably can give him a full pardon when he leaves office next year.

I've never been a big "IMPEACH! IMPEACH!" kind of guy, despite my well-documented distaste for this administration, but for the love of God... it's time.

Things I wouldn't have known...

One of my favorite college professors passed away this past weekend. I felt a little crappy considering that, on Monday before I learned of this, I spent a very large chunk of time waxing about how great my life is and how awesome my birthday was when at the very same moment many wonderful people were grieving. Many wonderful people were trying to make sense of something so heavy and unfair. In short, I finished my blog entry, and then surfed around to the other blogs I regularly read, and then I felt like a total jackass.

I only had a couple of classes with Dr. Kelly F. Lowe, but those were some of the best classes I ever had. My main experience of working with him was as a tutor in his well-crafted writing center. I learned a lot working there; not only about working with people, but about writing and about how to make people's writing--including my own--better. Kelly's focus was not on having writing tutors who simply understood grammar and would look at other students' papers and "fix" them. He wanted us to sit down with the students; to actually read the papers and to get them to tell us what they were trying to say. He wanted us to listen, and then to work with the students to help them formulate their writing. As extensions of Kelly, we all tried to help our fellow students become BETTER writers by working WITH them, not talking down TO them.

And, to me, that was Kelly-the-instructor in the briefest of nutshells.


I'm not going to attempt to wax rhapsodic about Kelly's life, as I don't personally feel qualified. Also, I think two of my former college colleagues who were much, much closer to him have done so infinitely much better than I ever could. Thanks, Steve and Athena.

All I really feel qualified--and able--to do to remember Kelly appropriately right now is to give you the list of things I wouldn't have known (about writing, about life, about myself) if I hadn't ever met Dr. Kelly F. Lowe.

• That a heterosexual grown man with a traditionally female name CAN wear pink socks with any outfit, be totally cool with it, not give a fuck what other people think about it, and totally pull it off.


• That no matter how good you think you are at something, you can always get better if you're willing to listen and to try.


• That having an encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture can actually be a useful thing. Countless were the nights in the WC where I would try to be smooth and drop casual pop-culture references into conversations--a practice I still do today, much to the lamenting of my wife--only to have my shit completely blown out of the water.


• That you shouldn't be afraid to make an argument or take a stand. But, if you do so, you HAVE to do your homework, do your research, know what the hell you're talking about, and argue it effectively.


• That Hunter S. Thompson was a bad-ass motherfucker.


• That the professor/student (or boss/employee, if you prefer) relationship truly can be collegial.


• That brevity in writing is the most effective method of being funny. "Get in, make your joke, and get out." I still haven't mastered this one, as you can tell if you read my blog regularly.


• That it's OK to have a beer at BW3's with your former professor/employer when you come back to visit your alma mater. In fact, it should be encouraged.


• And lastly--and I'm going to fumble this one, so bear with me--that college, and more specifically life, shouldn't be about accomplishments. It should be about people, and about making the places you're in better when you leave than they were when you found them.

I could have made my way through school as a Lit major without really ever having worked at being a better writer. And, had I never started working at the Writing Center (and then, by extension, started taking classes with KLowe--much too late in my career, I might add), this would have been my experience. I was well-versed enough in the old "5 paragraph essay" and expository methods from HS that I got my scholarship, got into EH120W as a freshman, and could have written all of my papers and gotten through.

But I wouldn't have really learned anything about writing, and about how to make my writing better. I read the blogs and writings of some of my colleagues from back in those college years, and I know that I still have a long way to go. But I know I probably wouldn't be writing at all anymore if I hadn't worked with Dr. Lowe.

And that's the greatest eulogy I can give the man.

Cheers, Kelly. Cheers.

30th Birthday Weekend: Recap and Scorecard

I can't begin to put into words how amazing this past weekend was, thanks to my lovely wife. It was one of the most humbling, exciting, and fulfilling weekends of my life, and I owe it all to her. Let's try to recap!

Thursday, June 14th

I woke up. I didn't feel any older. I didn't suddenly feel like I was all grown up or anything. I went to work like I do most every day (except I didn't really get a lot of actual "work" done). Some people brought me cards and my boss brought his birthday balloon (he turned 50 the day before) and taped it to my bookshelf in a somewhat humorous display.

Melissa and I had made plans to eat lunch together, which was basically all I had on my docket at the office. She arrived about 12:40, and we went to J. Alexanders. She had this mysterious bag of presents that I wasn't allowed to look in. Little did I know...

We had been planning on going on a trip to South Carolina in mid-July. At least, that's what I thought. So, imagine my surprise when I opened my card and found that, instead, we were going to FREAKING IRELAND that week. I've wanted to go there for about as long as I can remember, and now we're going! And I had absolutely no idea! Also included in the bag-o-mystery: a potato, some Irish Spring body wash, a six-pack of Guinness, some Lucky Charms, an awesome book on things to do in Ireland as well as a copy of McCarthy's Bar, and irish cookies.

So, then, back at the office, we were greeted by well-wishing and apple pie courtesy of my co-workers. I dig apple pie. I basically then bummed around the rest of the afternoon, and headed home... thinking that Melissa had dropped the biggest bomb in her arsenal. Little did I know...

I got home, and who was sitting on our couch but Jason, one of my very best friends. I had no idea he was coming! Tricky woman, she is. We went out, enjoyed some Chile Verde, went to BW's and watched the Cavs suck it up one last time, and proceeded to get hammered (well, I did, anyway). Good times. I also found out during this stretch that another part of my surprise is a trip to Cleveland on Friday to see an Indians game!

Final Score: Trip to Ireland 1, Trip to South Carolina 0, Cavs 0-for-4


Friday, June 15th

The new grill arrived!

My folks thought a new grill would be a nice addition to our patio. And right they were! This thing is huge, and puts out enough heat to apparently melt the siding on my house. I believe that, on Saturday evening, Jason had enough food grilling on this thing at one time to feed 20 people. According to the Lowe's website, it has a "28 burger capacity." When I will be cooking 28 burgers at one time, I'll never know. But it's nice to know that I can!

While I had known the grill was coming, the surprises didn't stop. As mentioned above, Melissa had gotten tickets to Friday night's Tribe game, and so I was assuming it was to be her, Jason, and myself as we drove up to Cleveland Friday afternoon. As we got ready to leave Columbus, Melissa wondered if we might get there in time to go have a beer at the Winking Lizard. Never one to turn down a beer before or during a baseball game, it sounded fine to me. We got to our hotel in Cleveland, set out on foot for the Jake, and when we got to Prospect Street we headed toward the Lizard.

"I don't want to go to the Winking Lizard anymore," said my wife. "I want to go to the Boneyard." Now, had I had any sort of sense about me, I'd have smelled a set-up. The Boneyard is not a place you would ever intentionally want to go. So it was that we walked back to the back, and there were all four of my parents waiting for us.

My dad and step-mother gave me a nice gift card to Golf Galaxy, as I have had my eye on a nice new approach wedge to give me more options for skulling the ball 50 feet past the hole around the green:

Once I can find one of these clubs in-stock, I will be all set to go. And probably will still shoot in the mid-90s. But I will do it with a sweet-ass gap wedge.

We all had a beer, walked over to the game, and had great seats all together on the first base line:


The Tribe dropped a heart-breaker to the Braves, but the fireworks were great and it was just amazing to have everyone there. The nachos, however, got the last laugh. All three of us that ate them were sorely wishing we hadn't by bed time.

Final Score: Char-Broil 28, Dan 6, Braves 5, Indians 4, Nachos 3


Saturday, June 16th

This was to be party day. We'd long been planning a cookout, and at this point I was now officially ready for and expecting any and everything from my wife. Or so I thought. We spent the day cleaning up the house (I cut the grass and cleaned up the bathrooms, Jason was a champ cleaning the patio and raking the grass, and I can't even quantify how much work Melissa did) and getting ready. Jason and I had done the grocery shopping on Friday before traveling north, so everything was stocked.

Guests began to arrive with my mom and step-father at 4:30 or so, and continued on for a few hours. When we reached the top end of the guest count, the grilling began. Grill master Williams (who regaled us with tales of basically burning his eyebrows and eyelashes off as well as burning another grill to the ground) cashed in his grill Karma and did a masterful job. I believe (and he can probably correct me here, since he kept a well-organized list) he had: 12 burgers, 10 brats, and 8 hot dogs all cooking at one time on this grill, and there was still some space left over. Everything was delicious.

I went inside to find that Melissa had blown up a picture of me at what I believe was my 9th birthday blowing out some candles. I couldn't really complain, but it was definitely a shock! There were not one but two cakes (one a Scooby Doo ice cream cake, which is just kick-ass), many many snacks, and good times for everyone.

We also collectively polished off the greater portion of a 24-case of Miller Lite in 16-oz bottles, a 5 liter keg of Heineken, and 12s of Sierra Nevada and Great Lakes sampler packs. In other words, it was ON.

Many thoughtful, thoughtful people gave very nice gifts, including a round of golf at a friend's country club, a Grady Sizemore jersey, a C.C. Sabathia Disco Bobblehead, some Cleveland Indians pajamas (sensing a theme here?), a nice Michigan shirt, and some gift cards for some of my favorite stores. Really, them just being at our house to help celebrate was gift enough for me.

Some stragglers (including my folks, who stayed over) managed to play some Cap-In-The-Hole Challenge as well as Tripoli and Euchre into the wee hours of the night.

Final Score: Burgers 12, Brats 10, Hot Dogs 8, Dan's Liver -15


Overall

In all seriousness, to see so many people do so many nice things for me just because I was born a few years ago is a truly humbling experience. To have my wife go so far above and beyond is truly humbling. I'm very blessed to have her as my wife, and I still can't believe all of the things she did for my birthday. I have plans for hers next year already formulated, but the bar has been set so incredibly high I don't know how I can live up!

I spent a large portion of my early 20's thinking that 30 was a long way off, and thankfully so because it signified the end of youth. I have since realized that age is only a number, and that the important things are the people in your life. I couldn't be more blessed at this point in my life, and when I turned 25 I hadn't even met the most important person I will ever meet yet. So, so what if I'm 30 now? The weekend of my 30th birthday was the best weekend of my life, short of the weekend we got married.

How can that be a bad thing??

It just wasn't our year...

I've been refraining from writing here since the start of the NBA Finals, lest I throw out any unknowing jinxes. Now that these Finals are all but over, it's time to weigh in.

Sorry, dude. Fate was sealed when James made a mid-post pass to Varejao….what Varejao didn’t realize was that he was supposed to give it right back to LeBron….instead he threw up some European hook shit. --e-mail from a co-worker of mine this morning

In complete honesty, I can't be mad at my team; they advanced further than I thought they would, and they ran into a team that is just dominant at the two most important positions on the floor. An ugly Game 3 has all but sealed the Cavs fate, as they played great defense and still lost, 75-72. I'm now officially in "I'm just happy we made it this far" mode, as it is clear there was never any way the Cavs could win this series. They simply were just not ready.

LeBron looks tentative, and frustrated. The Spurs have prepared well for his tendencies (both shooting/driving as well as passing out of double teams). The Cavs are a young team, and it really has been showing in this series. They looked overwhelmed by the weight of the situation they found themselves in during the first two games. They regrouped, played much better defense at home in game 3, but folded under the pressure on offense.

Many are discussing the lack of a call on LeBron during the final shot, but the more I look at the replay I doubt that even if the foul is called that they give him the continuation on the shot, and so he only gets 2 shots with 3 seconds left and no time-outs. The Cavs probably aren't winning. Even if he gets the continuation, what are the odds that he makes 3 free throws?

Lars is upset (and I don't necessarily fault him for it, because fans like to see some backbone from their teams) about the Cavs' lack of overt anger at the officials. One could argue that it's just time for Mike Brown to blow up at the officiating and draw a fine or two. As Harry Doyle once said: "'Bout time... it's eight-nothin'."

Call me a softy, but I find it refreshing that the Cavs aren't making excuses. I get so tired of hearing players whine and whine and whine that it's nice to hear a team simply say, "You know what? We lost." And the Cavs lost. Whether the officiating has been questionable (and it was, definitely, at times during the games in San Antonio) or not, the Cavs still wouldn't be winning this series. They just don't have enough depth, enough offense to answer the Spurs' runs.

And, while I agree there were probably some no-calls in game 3, even still...

The really frustrating thing is that it wasn't the fouls. As much as I dislike a lot of his coaching moves and philosophies, Mike Brown was right: that no-call on LeBron at the end wasn't why they lost last night. If they could shoot better than 35% (they got A LOT of open looks last night; it wasn't like they were forcing things, with the exception of Varejao at the end...) they'd have won. If you had told me that:
1) Duncan would only play 34 minutes because of fouls and only score 14 points;
2) Parker would only score 19 points
3) Ginobili would only score 3 points
4) The Spurs would only score 75 points

I'd have told you we would win by at least 15 points. You can't blame the refs for the fact that NO ONE could make an open jump shot.

Again, I just have to keep telling myself that they got further this year than I thought they would, and that San Antonio is just a juggernaut. The Cavs' core is all 25 and under and they play in a weak conference, so I can hope they'll get another chance for a title run. They learned a lot from last year's playoff loss to Detroit. Here's hoping they've learned a few things about this Finals run that will fuel them next year. Detroit is basically done. Other than the Bulls and maybe the Wizards, who in the Eastern Conference is going to be a contender next year? All things being what they currently are, it's the Cavs' conference to win for the next few years.


All in all, thanks Cavs. It has been a great ride. Game 6 of the ECF was the most fun I've had in a long time watching a sporting event. The city rallied behind you, and you made many people turned off to basketball fans again, myself included. And, you can only get better.

So it goes.

Sweet Merciful Mother of All Things Holy!

It happened!

It actually happened!

A Cleveland team won something!

NBA FINALS!!!