Things I wouldn't have known...

One of my favorite college professors passed away this past weekend. I felt a little crappy considering that, on Monday before I learned of this, I spent a very large chunk of time waxing about how great my life is and how awesome my birthday was when at the very same moment many wonderful people were grieving. Many wonderful people were trying to make sense of something so heavy and unfair. In short, I finished my blog entry, and then surfed around to the other blogs I regularly read, and then I felt like a total jackass.

I only had a couple of classes with Dr. Kelly F. Lowe, but those were some of the best classes I ever had. My main experience of working with him was as a tutor in his well-crafted writing center. I learned a lot working there; not only about working with people, but about writing and about how to make people's writing--including my own--better. Kelly's focus was not on having writing tutors who simply understood grammar and would look at other students' papers and "fix" them. He wanted us to sit down with the students; to actually read the papers and to get them to tell us what they were trying to say. He wanted us to listen, and then to work with the students to help them formulate their writing. As extensions of Kelly, we all tried to help our fellow students become BETTER writers by working WITH them, not talking down TO them.

And, to me, that was Kelly-the-instructor in the briefest of nutshells.


I'm not going to attempt to wax rhapsodic about Kelly's life, as I don't personally feel qualified. Also, I think two of my former college colleagues who were much, much closer to him have done so infinitely much better than I ever could. Thanks, Steve and Athena.

All I really feel qualified--and able--to do to remember Kelly appropriately right now is to give you the list of things I wouldn't have known (about writing, about life, about myself) if I hadn't ever met Dr. Kelly F. Lowe.

• That a heterosexual grown man with a traditionally female name CAN wear pink socks with any outfit, be totally cool with it, not give a fuck what other people think about it, and totally pull it off.


• That no matter how good you think you are at something, you can always get better if you're willing to listen and to try.


• That having an encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture can actually be a useful thing. Countless were the nights in the WC where I would try to be smooth and drop casual pop-culture references into conversations--a practice I still do today, much to the lamenting of my wife--only to have my shit completely blown out of the water.


• That you shouldn't be afraid to make an argument or take a stand. But, if you do so, you HAVE to do your homework, do your research, know what the hell you're talking about, and argue it effectively.


• That Hunter S. Thompson was a bad-ass motherfucker.


• That the professor/student (or boss/employee, if you prefer) relationship truly can be collegial.


• That brevity in writing is the most effective method of being funny. "Get in, make your joke, and get out." I still haven't mastered this one, as you can tell if you read my blog regularly.


• That it's OK to have a beer at BW3's with your former professor/employer when you come back to visit your alma mater. In fact, it should be encouraged.


• And lastly--and I'm going to fumble this one, so bear with me--that college, and more specifically life, shouldn't be about accomplishments. It should be about people, and about making the places you're in better when you leave than they were when you found them.

I could have made my way through school as a Lit major without really ever having worked at being a better writer. And, had I never started working at the Writing Center (and then, by extension, started taking classes with KLowe--much too late in my career, I might add), this would have been my experience. I was well-versed enough in the old "5 paragraph essay" and expository methods from HS that I got my scholarship, got into EH120W as a freshman, and could have written all of my papers and gotten through.

But I wouldn't have really learned anything about writing, and about how to make my writing better. I read the blogs and writings of some of my colleagues from back in those college years, and I know that I still have a long way to go. But I know I probably wouldn't be writing at all anymore if I hadn't worked with Dr. Lowe.

And that's the greatest eulogy I can give the man.

Cheers, Kelly. Cheers.

30th Birthday Weekend: Recap and Scorecard

I can't begin to put into words how amazing this past weekend was, thanks to my lovely wife. It was one of the most humbling, exciting, and fulfilling weekends of my life, and I owe it all to her. Let's try to recap!

Thursday, June 14th

I woke up. I didn't feel any older. I didn't suddenly feel like I was all grown up or anything. I went to work like I do most every day (except I didn't really get a lot of actual "work" done). Some people brought me cards and my boss brought his birthday balloon (he turned 50 the day before) and taped it to my bookshelf in a somewhat humorous display.

Melissa and I had made plans to eat lunch together, which was basically all I had on my docket at the office. She arrived about 12:40, and we went to J. Alexanders. She had this mysterious bag of presents that I wasn't allowed to look in. Little did I know...

We had been planning on going on a trip to South Carolina in mid-July. At least, that's what I thought. So, imagine my surprise when I opened my card and found that, instead, we were going to FREAKING IRELAND that week. I've wanted to go there for about as long as I can remember, and now we're going! And I had absolutely no idea! Also included in the bag-o-mystery: a potato, some Irish Spring body wash, a six-pack of Guinness, some Lucky Charms, an awesome book on things to do in Ireland as well as a copy of McCarthy's Bar, and irish cookies.

So, then, back at the office, we were greeted by well-wishing and apple pie courtesy of my co-workers. I dig apple pie. I basically then bummed around the rest of the afternoon, and headed home... thinking that Melissa had dropped the biggest bomb in her arsenal. Little did I know...

I got home, and who was sitting on our couch but Jason, one of my very best friends. I had no idea he was coming! Tricky woman, she is. We went out, enjoyed some Chile Verde, went to BW's and watched the Cavs suck it up one last time, and proceeded to get hammered (well, I did, anyway). Good times. I also found out during this stretch that another part of my surprise is a trip to Cleveland on Friday to see an Indians game!

Final Score: Trip to Ireland 1, Trip to South Carolina 0, Cavs 0-for-4


Friday, June 15th

The new grill arrived!

My folks thought a new grill would be a nice addition to our patio. And right they were! This thing is huge, and puts out enough heat to apparently melt the siding on my house. I believe that, on Saturday evening, Jason had enough food grilling on this thing at one time to feed 20 people. According to the Lowe's website, it has a "28 burger capacity." When I will be cooking 28 burgers at one time, I'll never know. But it's nice to know that I can!

While I had known the grill was coming, the surprises didn't stop. As mentioned above, Melissa had gotten tickets to Friday night's Tribe game, and so I was assuming it was to be her, Jason, and myself as we drove up to Cleveland Friday afternoon. As we got ready to leave Columbus, Melissa wondered if we might get there in time to go have a beer at the Winking Lizard. Never one to turn down a beer before or during a baseball game, it sounded fine to me. We got to our hotel in Cleveland, set out on foot for the Jake, and when we got to Prospect Street we headed toward the Lizard.

"I don't want to go to the Winking Lizard anymore," said my wife. "I want to go to the Boneyard." Now, had I had any sort of sense about me, I'd have smelled a set-up. The Boneyard is not a place you would ever intentionally want to go. So it was that we walked back to the back, and there were all four of my parents waiting for us.

My dad and step-mother gave me a nice gift card to Golf Galaxy, as I have had my eye on a nice new approach wedge to give me more options for skulling the ball 50 feet past the hole around the green:

Once I can find one of these clubs in-stock, I will be all set to go. And probably will still shoot in the mid-90s. But I will do it with a sweet-ass gap wedge.

We all had a beer, walked over to the game, and had great seats all together on the first base line:


The Tribe dropped a heart-breaker to the Braves, but the fireworks were great and it was just amazing to have everyone there. The nachos, however, got the last laugh. All three of us that ate them were sorely wishing we hadn't by bed time.

Final Score: Char-Broil 28, Dan 6, Braves 5, Indians 4, Nachos 3


Saturday, June 16th

This was to be party day. We'd long been planning a cookout, and at this point I was now officially ready for and expecting any and everything from my wife. Or so I thought. We spent the day cleaning up the house (I cut the grass and cleaned up the bathrooms, Jason was a champ cleaning the patio and raking the grass, and I can't even quantify how much work Melissa did) and getting ready. Jason and I had done the grocery shopping on Friday before traveling north, so everything was stocked.

Guests began to arrive with my mom and step-father at 4:30 or so, and continued on for a few hours. When we reached the top end of the guest count, the grilling began. Grill master Williams (who regaled us with tales of basically burning his eyebrows and eyelashes off as well as burning another grill to the ground) cashed in his grill Karma and did a masterful job. I believe (and he can probably correct me here, since he kept a well-organized list) he had: 12 burgers, 10 brats, and 8 hot dogs all cooking at one time on this grill, and there was still some space left over. Everything was delicious.

I went inside to find that Melissa had blown up a picture of me at what I believe was my 9th birthday blowing out some candles. I couldn't really complain, but it was definitely a shock! There were not one but two cakes (one a Scooby Doo ice cream cake, which is just kick-ass), many many snacks, and good times for everyone.

We also collectively polished off the greater portion of a 24-case of Miller Lite in 16-oz bottles, a 5 liter keg of Heineken, and 12s of Sierra Nevada and Great Lakes sampler packs. In other words, it was ON.

Many thoughtful, thoughtful people gave very nice gifts, including a round of golf at a friend's country club, a Grady Sizemore jersey, a C.C. Sabathia Disco Bobblehead, some Cleveland Indians pajamas (sensing a theme here?), a nice Michigan shirt, and some gift cards for some of my favorite stores. Really, them just being at our house to help celebrate was gift enough for me.

Some stragglers (including my folks, who stayed over) managed to play some Cap-In-The-Hole Challenge as well as Tripoli and Euchre into the wee hours of the night.

Final Score: Burgers 12, Brats 10, Hot Dogs 8, Dan's Liver -15


Overall

In all seriousness, to see so many people do so many nice things for me just because I was born a few years ago is a truly humbling experience. To have my wife go so far above and beyond is truly humbling. I'm very blessed to have her as my wife, and I still can't believe all of the things she did for my birthday. I have plans for hers next year already formulated, but the bar has been set so incredibly high I don't know how I can live up!

I spent a large portion of my early 20's thinking that 30 was a long way off, and thankfully so because it signified the end of youth. I have since realized that age is only a number, and that the important things are the people in your life. I couldn't be more blessed at this point in my life, and when I turned 25 I hadn't even met the most important person I will ever meet yet. So, so what if I'm 30 now? The weekend of my 30th birthday was the best weekend of my life, short of the weekend we got married.

How can that be a bad thing??

It just wasn't our year...

I've been refraining from writing here since the start of the NBA Finals, lest I throw out any unknowing jinxes. Now that these Finals are all but over, it's time to weigh in.

Sorry, dude. Fate was sealed when James made a mid-post pass to Varejao….what Varejao didn’t realize was that he was supposed to give it right back to LeBron….instead he threw up some European hook shit. --e-mail from a co-worker of mine this morning

In complete honesty, I can't be mad at my team; they advanced further than I thought they would, and they ran into a team that is just dominant at the two most important positions on the floor. An ugly Game 3 has all but sealed the Cavs fate, as they played great defense and still lost, 75-72. I'm now officially in "I'm just happy we made it this far" mode, as it is clear there was never any way the Cavs could win this series. They simply were just not ready.

LeBron looks tentative, and frustrated. The Spurs have prepared well for his tendencies (both shooting/driving as well as passing out of double teams). The Cavs are a young team, and it really has been showing in this series. They looked overwhelmed by the weight of the situation they found themselves in during the first two games. They regrouped, played much better defense at home in game 3, but folded under the pressure on offense.

Many are discussing the lack of a call on LeBron during the final shot, but the more I look at the replay I doubt that even if the foul is called that they give him the continuation on the shot, and so he only gets 2 shots with 3 seconds left and no time-outs. The Cavs probably aren't winning. Even if he gets the continuation, what are the odds that he makes 3 free throws?

Lars is upset (and I don't necessarily fault him for it, because fans like to see some backbone from their teams) about the Cavs' lack of overt anger at the officials. One could argue that it's just time for Mike Brown to blow up at the officiating and draw a fine or two. As Harry Doyle once said: "'Bout time... it's eight-nothin'."

Call me a softy, but I find it refreshing that the Cavs aren't making excuses. I get so tired of hearing players whine and whine and whine that it's nice to hear a team simply say, "You know what? We lost." And the Cavs lost. Whether the officiating has been questionable (and it was, definitely, at times during the games in San Antonio) or not, the Cavs still wouldn't be winning this series. They just don't have enough depth, enough offense to answer the Spurs' runs.

And, while I agree there were probably some no-calls in game 3, even still...

The really frustrating thing is that it wasn't the fouls. As much as I dislike a lot of his coaching moves and philosophies, Mike Brown was right: that no-call on LeBron at the end wasn't why they lost last night. If they could shoot better than 35% (they got A LOT of open looks last night; it wasn't like they were forcing things, with the exception of Varejao at the end...) they'd have won. If you had told me that:
1) Duncan would only play 34 minutes because of fouls and only score 14 points;
2) Parker would only score 19 points
3) Ginobili would only score 3 points
4) The Spurs would only score 75 points

I'd have told you we would win by at least 15 points. You can't blame the refs for the fact that NO ONE could make an open jump shot.

Again, I just have to keep telling myself that they got further this year than I thought they would, and that San Antonio is just a juggernaut. The Cavs' core is all 25 and under and they play in a weak conference, so I can hope they'll get another chance for a title run. They learned a lot from last year's playoff loss to Detroit. Here's hoping they've learned a few things about this Finals run that will fuel them next year. Detroit is basically done. Other than the Bulls and maybe the Wizards, who in the Eastern Conference is going to be a contender next year? All things being what they currently are, it's the Cavs' conference to win for the next few years.


All in all, thanks Cavs. It has been a great ride. Game 6 of the ECF was the most fun I've had in a long time watching a sporting event. The city rallied behind you, and you made many people turned off to basketball fans again, myself included. And, you can only get better.

So it goes.

Sweet Merciful Mother of All Things Holy!

It happened!

It actually happened!

A Cleveland team won something!

NBA FINALS!!!

What words are there to describe it?

It was at least 25 minutes later. My jaw still hung open. The only real words I could muster continually were, "Wow," and "I can't believe what I just saw." Later, on the drive home from the sports bar, I truly felt that I had just witnessed something historic. A defining moment in a player's career, and in a franchise's history. I witnessed it. Someday, I can tell my kids about the night LeBron simply picked up his team, strapped it onto his broad shoulders, and willed it to a victory in the most important game the franchise had EVER played.

Windhorst does well to sum it up, but still can't do it complete justice:

Behind the shoe deals, the millions and the criticism was the promise -- the promise of greatness.

LeBron James kept it in historic fashion on a hot and forever memorable Thursday evening in the Eastern Conference finals. Playing perhaps the greatest game of his career in the biggest game in the history of the Cavaliers franchise, James totally, completely and amazingly took the Cavs to a 109-107 double-overtime victory over the Detroit Pistons.
...
James' dominance and sense of purpose was so wide-ranging, detailing all his majestic moves and clutch deliveries is nearly impossible.

That's really only lip-service. Words like: amazing, dominating, transcendent, virtuoso, jaw-dropping, breath-taking, awe-inspiring, defining, UNREAL.... none of these phrases (nor highlight clips on ESPN) could sum up what LeBron James did last night to someone who didn't see it. You truly had to see it to really appreciate it. Even to believe it.

In his blog, Windhorst does a little better at trying to quantify what we saw last night:

I've watched LeBron play roughly 500 games in person from places like Rehobeth Beach, Del., to Sapporo, Japan, to Bakersfield, Calif., to something like 17 times at the Palace of Auburn Hills now. Never have a [sic] seen a performance like that from him and never have I seen him be so calm. He wasn't demonstrative and making all those primal faces, he was just coldly killing the Pistons. It isn't often you know you are experiencing history at the moment it is happening. It doesn't matter which team you cover as a journalist or which team you root for as a fan, there was no way you could watch LeBron score 25 straight points and think you weren't being given a gift of an experience.

A commenter on the "FreeDarko" blog (worth checking out if you love the potential intersection of intellectual discussion and hoops, which I am all of a sudden starting to!) says exactly what I was thinking/feeling: "This really is the reason I love sports. To see will manifest into flesh. It's astonishing that men can do such things."

He was everywhere. He was everything. He single-handedly carried the Cavs to the biggest win in the history of their franchise. The Pistons

simply

COULD

NOT

STOP

HIM.

James scored 48 points in a double-overtime game, including 29 of those points in the final quarter and two overtime periods. He literally scored ALL of his team's points in both overtimes. He scored the last 25 points of the game for the Cavs, and 29 of their last 30 points (the only other being one free-throw by Drew Gooden).

He did it in every way imagineable. He drove. He dunked. He broke people down on the dribble. He nailed runners and sick, cold-blooded fade-aways, each and every one a dagger in the heart of a Pistons team that was trying to match him shot-for-shot. What appeared to be the exclamation point was the just plain filthy three-pointer he made running off of a double team to his left, hoisting the shot while still almost in motion... literally 15 seconds after the Pistons had been handed a three-point lead with 90 seconds to go in double overtime--on a touch foul to Chris Webber, who, even though he'd clearly taken 2.5 steps to get his shot up and was essentially only hand-checked by Z (which fouled him out of the game), got the continuation and the and-1 foul shot.

It was almost as if James decided that it didn't matter what obstacles were put in his way. He was winning this game for his team. The purest definition of "will" that I have ever seen in basketball since the days of Michael Jordan.

James played defense. He rebounded (tied for the team lead with 9). And, with less than 10 seconds in the second overtime and a tied-at-107 score, he stood at the top of the key with the ball under his arm, watched the clock roll down, and then essentially took it straight to the rack on their entire fucking squad. He went up for a layup, displaying amazing strength and body control as he was fouled fairly hard by Jason Maxiell while going up, and still had the ability to softly and easily lay it in with 2.2 seconds to go.

In sports, words like "will" and "determination" and "domination" get used and thrown around sometimes far too often. But what LeBron James did last night defines all of them. This was a game the Cavs HAD to win, purely and simply. And, midway through the fourth quarter, James simply decided that there was no way his team was losing this game... not while he was still in it. Each and every possession, his teammates gave him the ball at the top of the key and simply got out of his way. The Pistons ran everyone and anyone they had at him.

Everyone in the building (and for that matter, in any building with a TV set tuned in to this game) knew he was taking every shot down the stretch and in the overtimes. Everyone in the building knew that the Cavs were hitching their wagon to their superstar. Everyone in the building knew that if the Pistons wanted to win that game, they were going to have to do whatever it took to stop James.

And they still could NOT stop him.

They had no answers.

"This is the single best game I've ever seen at this level in this atmosphere, hands down," Cavs coach Mike Brown said. "I don't know what he can't do."

58 minutes of basketball, three Cavaliers players fouled out... James just seemed to get stronger. As if through sheer will, he slowly wore down the Pistons to the point where they could do nothing but accept their fate that, on this night, there was nothing they could do to stem the tide, to stop the flood.


Pistons fans can argue--rightfully so--that the same thing happened last year. The Cavs lost the first two games only to win three straight (including game 5 in Detroit, again) only to have Detroit come into Cleveland for game 6 and dash the Cavs' hopes. Piston fans will argue that they still haven't played their A-game. Chauncey Billups told us on Wednesday that: "[the Cavs'] A-game is not like our A-game, and we haven't played our A-game yet."

He's right. Even the Pistons on their best night (and last night was by far the best the Pistons' team has played in this series) aren't enough to stop LeBron James when he plays his absolute "A-game". It would be insane to expect the James will do again in game 6 what he did last night, but I'm still waiting for the Pistons to "turn it on" like they have been documented to do so well.

The fact is, this year's teams are completely different from last year's teams. The Pistons are not the same team they were last year. They seem a step slower, less organized, and less fluid as a team. Likewise, the Cavs have so much more confidence, and more players willing to stand up and contribute than they did last season. I don't expect the Pistons simply to roll over and let game 6 go, but I also don't think the Cavs will be as overwhelmed this year as they were last year.

In short, this series is NOT over. But, just the same, for Detroit or its fans simply to rest on the idea that, "hey, the same thing happened last season," would be foolish. The Cavs no longer have the "we're just happy to be here" mentality. James himself said, "[W]e have a goal; we can't dwell on this tonight when we have another game on Saturday. We have got to do our best to try to win that ballgame and get where we wanted to be all year."

Focus. James showed it in the closing moments of game 4. He broke the mold of it in game 5. And, even after what had to be the most physically draining and yet personally gratifying performance of his young career, he still has it. This team isn't just happy to be here. They honestly believe they can win it, and they have a singular goal of trying to win a championship.

It's cliche to say that you can see the Cavs growing up in this series right before our eyes, but it's absolutely true. From the end of game 1 until the end of last night's game, these Cavs have matured. They have learned that they can play with the "big boys" of the East.

Here's hoping they earn the chance on Saturday night to find out if they can play with anyone, and if they truly believe they can win a championship.

Back at Zero

So, it's now a best of three series with the Pistons still having home court. On paper, you have to still give them the edge. That having been said, if the Cavs haven't earned their respect at this point, the Cavs will beat them in this series. I never thought I'd sing the praises of Charles Barkley, but he seems to have finally been convinced of this. When asked post-game about what he would take away from the two games in Cleveland, he said something to the effect of: you can't take anything away, because the Cavs should be up 3-1 or should have swept. They have outplayed Detroit in all four games, but just couldn't finish games 1 and 2, but were able to finish at home.

So, what does this mean? Are the Pistons still disinterested and not playing their A-game? I would agree that the Pistons haven't fired on all cylanders (ha!) yet, but some credit has to go to the Cavs' defense for this. Billups was second in the league in the regular season in assist-to-turnover ratio, and now he's got 16 assists and 22 turnovers in four games? He looked positively rattled in the fourth quarter last night, which is uncharactistic of him.

So, using that as a thumbnail sketch for the entire series, is it that the Pistons just aren't playing up to their potential (whether it be for lack of respect or concern for the threat the Cavs pose, or what have you)? Or, could it be that the Cavs are actually frustrating them just a bit? To me, it's not a coincidence that the Cavs have had considerable leads at some point in all 4 games, and the Pistons' biggest lead at any point in the series has only been 5 points. For a team that most claim can just "turn it on whenever they feel like it" against an "inferior" team like Cleveland, they sure seem to be struggling to do so. If the Pistons don't believe they're in a good, close, tight series yet, then they're ripe to get beat. And I, for one, would really enjoy seeing that.

In my head, I still think Pistons probably win in 7, as I truly think both teams hold serve at home the rest of the way. But, if the Cavs can put it together on Thursday night in Detroit, all bets are off. I don't think the Pistons can just put it together and muster wins in both games 6 and 7 like they did last year if the Cavs again can win game 5 on the road. We shall see.

Highlights from Tuesday night for me were:

• Getting inside Rasheed's head. Gooden made a good foul on him (a little rough, but fuck Rasheed if he can't handle it - there's just no way you can let him go up for an and-1 there, so I think Drew did a good job), though at the time I was nervous (as Lars pointed out, it could have been a flagrant with 2 shots and the ball). Somehow it seemed to fire up Drew and fluster Sheed (who later got T'ed up for yelling at Rip and throwing his headband, which was hilarious to me).
  To my reader(s): please tell me you all saw the repeated coverage of Sheed in the tunnel throwing his jersey in disgust and drilling an assistant coach in the face. It was priceless!
  
  Plus, Windhorst says in his blog this morning that he heard from a reliable source that the Pistons are having "chemistry problems in the locker room right now." Could the armor be cracked just a bit?


• James' fade-away/step-back J late in the fourth quarter. How demoralizing to play great defense for an entire possession only to have that shit dropped on you.


• LeBron nailing his free throws in the crunch, AND not letting Rip Hamilton get in his ear. While it wasn't a big push or anything, LeBron shoving Rip out of the way and maintaining his focus--to me, anyway--was huge. After having his clutch abilities and focus questioned ad nauseum after the first two games, it was nice to see both on display again in game 4. You know Gilbert Arenas was watching, too.


• This isn't really a moment, but how can you quantify how good Daniel "Boobie" Gibson was last night?? I don't know if they can have him start or not in game 5 (which will depend on how gimpy Hughes is going forward), but he showed the team's only willingness to drive consistently. I know he's not Hughes on defense (but probably as good or better than Gimpy Hughes, in all honesty, and did take an very important charge on Billups late in the fourth quarter), but he got to the line 12 times.
  If he can consistently make foul shots and get calls on their bigs, he's GOT to play more the rest of the series. I honestly can say that, for a rookie who's 21 and playing in the biggest series in franchise history, he's surprisingly calm. Something the Cavs need when they inevitably gag on their breakfast in the third quarter each night.


• More on Gibson: he looked calm and aggressive. He was driving right at Webber and Wallace and getting them up in the air to get the calls. He showed some touch on mid-range shots (he did a sweet step-and-fade-away shot that looked just like that shit that Billups and Hamilton do, and it was positively beautiful). It was like Gibson saw what was working, and kept doing it until Detroit stopped it (ahem, LeBron). He was making his free throws, so he kept going at them and getting more. He scored like 9 or 10 straight points at one point in the second quarter, and it just kind of snowballed for the team. He really got the crowd into the game, too, which was huge. Like I said above, I don't know if you can start Gibson in game 5 (think Varejao in last years' playoffs... his role off the bench was perfect) and put too many minutes on him, but Boobie played like 30 minutes last night and more than held his own.

This sets up a positively HUGE game 5 on Thursday night. More importantly, these last two games have energized a city and fan base to the point they haven't been since October of 1997 for the Tribe, and more specifically, than they've ever been for this franchise (you could argue the 1992 conference finals, but there was no way they were getting past Jordan in his prime). Cleveland fans CARE, and if this team could somehow get past the Pistons, it would be a huge weight off the shoulders of a fan base that generally collectively sits and waits to inevitably lose in some heart-wrenching fashion (for this team, think game 6 last year when they just *couldn't* get a rebound to save their lives).

I'm not saying they'll win. I'll say again, I still think this series is the Pistons' to lose, since they have home court. But, the Cavs (and their fans, really, as well) have gone from "just happy to have taken the next step this year and to be here in the conference finals" to honestly feeling like they have a shot (I'm reflecting my own feeling back, here, obviously).

I will again defer to Windhorst:

In the fourth quarter [last night], there was 21-year-old Gibson, 22-year-old James, and 23-year-old Sasha Pavlovic out there making plays. While the Pistons have the experience advantage and have been together longer, you can see the Cavs core for years to come developing. Not to mention Drew Gooden is just 26, Anderson Varejao 24 and Larry Hughes 28. It is said in the NBA, you win with men. The Pistons have men, but the Cavs have young guys who are turning into men.

Indeed.

This Just In: LeBron Still Pretty Good

Oh, shit. I will never, ever get tired of watching that replay.

@#&* the NBA

^{Note: I'm writing this as soon as I got home from BW's to ensure that I was still as angry as possible about the results of Game 2}

Now, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I'm sure we walked on the moon, and I don't think the government somehow pulled off this elaborate 9/11 conspiracy.

That said, FUCK the NBA. Seriously. Four years ago before the Cavs had LeBron, the Cleveland Basketball Fan was an endangered species. I say this because I know it's true. I've made no secret of the fact that I'm a complete and total LeBron bandwagon fan. I didn't give a shit about the Cavs from the time the Price/Daugherty/Ehlo team disbanded until we got James.

So, how does it look to the casual johnny-come-lately NBA fan to watch a game that appears to be so fucking lopsided in the officiating? How am I *not* to think the NBA has some vested interest in seeing the Pistons advance?

As I said in Tuesday's entry, I thought the Game 1 officiating was equally loose for both teams. Tonight, not so much. Example: Anderson Verejao has the ball not once, but twice, under the hoop for a layup. On the replay (I will see if I can somehow find this, but I doubt it will make YouTube) you can see Chauncey Billups swat his arm at Verejao's not once, not twice, but three fucking times. No foul. But, sure enough, within the next minute or so, when the Pistons were on offense, the refs call a fucking hand-check. What the fuck is that?

Then, the cake-taker. Rasheed Wallace could not have more obviously pushed off of Verejao to get off his game winning shot (really, just to catch the ball and keep it in-bounds). I admit Verejao is a notorious flopper, but when it's that fucking clear in live-action, you would think a trained NBA ref standing 10 feet away could see/call it. Now, I'm all for "letting them play" when it comes to incidental contact in the deciding moments of a game. But when someone shoves off his defender to gain an advantage (in this case, to actually keep the fucking ball in his team's possession), that goes beyond "letting them play" and the ref HAS to call that foul.

Now, I'm also no fan of Mike Brown's halftime "adjustments" (note: sarcasm) or his team's offensive execution in the third quarter. But, after the entire free world bitched to high heaven about how LeBron needs to drive on the final play (why they played for the last shot instead of trying to score and play defense is another argument for another time, but has no relevence to where I'm going), he drives. He spins. He takes a shot. He gets FUCKING HAMMERED on the shot. No call. Not even so much as a sympathy whistle.

Charles Barkley, who so chastised LeBron for not taking it to the rack in game 1 has the tamarity to say, "You can't expect calls on the road," in the post-game. Weren't these the same whore fuckers who said he should drive because, "at least you get to the foul line with a chance to send it to overtime"?

Apparently you don't when the refs decide to swallow their whistles in Detroit's favor for the majority of the game.

I read a comment from someone on another sports site that Detroit gets more calls at home than anyone. I thought it was just sour grapes (not my comment in my post on Tuesday about how I thought LeBron not getting fouls in the second half was NOT sour grapes, just for reference).

I now think it's true. It's like in baseball. When a player is a star, or gets the reputation as having a "good eye" and then lays off a pitch that's close, most of the time the umpire gives them the benefit of the doubt. So, apparently it is that if the Pistons are considered a "great defensive team" they will not get even blatant fouls called on them.

I will be watching closely in game 3. If the Cavs *still* don't get any calls, then I'll start to believe something's going on. If the refs decide to call it a home-court series, then the Cavs will simply have to outplay the Pistons in Detroit.

But if not, and if the officiating remains so lopsided, the NBA is in danger of costing itself fans. They would start with me.

In summary, the Cavs had Game 1 in their grasp, and they let it go. They had Game 2 in their grasp, and the officials took it from them with two horrible no-calls in the final 30 seconds.

Careful, NBA. There's only so many times you can decide the Spurs and Pistons should play each other before the fans of the other 28 teams decide they've got better things to do with their time.

Define: Hypocrisy

Liberty: noun
1. freedom from arbitrary or despotic government or control.
2. freedom from external or foreign rule; independence.
3. freedom from control, interference, obligation, restriction, hampering conditions, etc.; power or right of doing, thinking, speaking, etc., according to choice.
4. freedom from captivity, confinement, or physical restraint: The prisoner soon regained his liberty.
5. permission granted to a sailor, esp. in the navy, to go ashore.
6. freedom or right to frequent or use a place: The visitors were given the liberty of the city.
7. unwarranted or impertinent freedom in action or speech, or a form or instance of it: to take liberties.


"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." (Matthew 5:38-42, NIV)


Nothing says "Liberty" and follows the teachings of Jesus quite like a student at Jerry Falwell's school Liberty University plotting to set off bombs at his funeral to ensure protesters don't disrupt Falwell's funeral.

Now, I'm no proponent of disrupting someone's funeral (looking in your direction, group that shows up at military funerals to protest that their deaths are punishment from God for living in and fighting for a country that "tolerates homosexuals"), even though my distaste for Falwell was earlier documented in this very space.

But this is right up there on the hypocrisy scale with people bombing abortion clinics and killing abortion doctors to show how "precious life is." We don't want protesters disrupting the funeral, so what better way to keep it peaceful and civil than to FUCKING BOMB THEM. Nice work, kid. Jesus loves you.


On second thought, this is the funeral of a guy who once said, "Thank God for these gay demonstrators. If I didn't have them, I'd have to invent them. They give me all the publicity I need."

Great model for strong moral convictions, there.

Don't worry, Frinky. When these babies hit the shelves, he'll still be grappling with The Pickle Matrix. H'Flaven.

So, the Cavs couldn't hold off the Pistons last night in game 1. I'm fairly ambivolent about the game at this point 12 hours later, simply because I went into this series opener thinking the Cavs had no real shot to steal a game in Detroit, and that if the series went to 6 games it might be considered a moral victory for the Cavs on some level.

That they almost did steal game 1 was a nice surprise, true, but then to have gone through 46 minutes with the Pistons and to have the lead on their court, and then to lose in the fashion the Cavs did is equally disappointing.

What bothers me is the media's shredding of LeBron James for his decision to pass out of a double-(triple?)team to a wide open Donyell Marshall for a potential game-winning shot. I've always been in the camp that, if you can get a good look for a shooter who can make threes (Marshall was, after all, 6-10 from three in game 6 against NJ) with a chance to win the game on the road, you take it.

Some would argue that James had an easy layup (kind of like the few he had blocked by Rasheed?)...

^{Akron Beacon Journal - To be fair, a block on Eric Snow should only count for a third of an actual blocked shot}

...and others will argue that James has to go strong to the hole and force the refs to call a foul because of who he is. I would counter that with the fact that he had gone to the hole about four times in the second half, had gotten certifiably molested, and had gotten no calls. (This is not sour grapes about the officiating; the Pistons' players got the same treatment. It's more a comment about the fallacy of expecting the refs to bail you out on a last second drive to the basket.)

^{Akron Beacon Journal - Notice the relationship/spacing of ball to Billups-hand compared to the direction LeBron is trying to go with the ball and tell me he's not about to foul our boy.}

And, as Bud Shaw pointed out in the PD this morning: "In reality, James never found a rhythm in the game and didn't seem inclined to test himself at the foul line for the first time all night." Good point also, given James' proclivity for being a streaky foul shooter this year, and for sometimes needing a few attempts to calibrate himself at the line.

Lost in all of the criticism and second guessing is the fact that, had Marshall MADE A WIDE OPEN FUCKING SHOT, the Cavs would likely have had a better than average shot of winning the game... game 1, no less... on the road. Or, if Ilgauskas makes a jumper he had been consistently making all night, the Cavs have a tie, a foul to give, and a time-out on their side with which to go and play defense. And, in both cases, LeBron would have then finished with an even triple-double (that would have been his 10th assist to go along with 10 points and 10 boards).

So, if Marshall/Ilgauskas make their shot(s), is LeBron a hero for being unselfish? A co-worker of mine and I were discussing it this morning, and his take is that the media pretty much always sucks, and that it sucks even more for someone like LeBron who is in the top 3 players in the league.

CAVS WIN HEADLINE:
Unselfish LeBron clinches win & triple double with great pass at buzzer

CAVS LOSE HEADLINE:
Unassertive LeBron can't handle double teams...has career playoff low in points

I tend to agree with his assessment of the media in matters such as these. Obviously, I'm a Cavs fan, and so my opinion is slightly skewed. But, many media folks seem to forget that LeBron is only 22 years old. They forget that it took Jordan 7 years to get to the Finals (at which point he was 28, I believe), and that LeBron has a shot (albeit a slim one, granted) to get there in his fourth season with (largely) a collection of stiffs on his team.

So, do we hold LeBron to a higher standard than even Michael Jordan? Is that fair? I understand that LeBron has been annointed as "next" since his junior year of high school. Who is responsible for that hype? More specifically, is/was there any real way LeBron could have lived up to it? He completed a feat this year in terms of his scoring/rebound/assist averages over three seasons that only Oscar Robertson ever did before him. What more do we want from the guy?

Sure, LeBron had a bad game, but what about the fact that the Cavs defense effectively shut down the Pistons just as much as the Pistons shut down LeBron? Had Richard Hamilton not shot out of his mind in the first half, the Cavs are probably up by 15 at half-time, and the Pistons lose. Shit, if Sasha Pavlovic doesn't shit the bed on defense and completely forget to get anywhere close to Billups (aside: and while I respect his game and the derivation of it, is there a douchier nickname in sports than "Mr. Big Shot"? Seriously!) as he shot a wide-open 3 pointer, the game ends differently.

It was widely reported/known that the Pistons were going to do everything in their power to shut down LeBron and to make the Cavs' other players beat them. And guess what, they almost did.


Hell, at least the Tribe (27-15) won.

Wow, gee... look at the time

I know that my blog updates become formulaic (wherein I generally don't write for two weeks, and then throw together a bulleted-list-update post). I don't care. Here it is:

• In the span of about 90 minutes Wednesday night, I went from completely sure the Cavs were going to the Eastern Conference Finals to wondering if this season will go down in history as a complete and utter failure.


• In the span of about 18 days, I've gone from thinking the Indians were on a collision course with 103 wins, to thinking that the Indians were on a collision course with 83 wins, back to thinking that the Indians are on a collision course with 96 wins. Will the real Cleveland Indians please stand up and remain standing?


• Jerry Falwell is gone. I struggled with writing something about his passing, but Mom always said that if you can't say something nice about a person, you shouldn't say anything at all. Not that this rule has stopped me in any way over the course of my life. Suffice it so say I am currently wondering with great and considerable curiousity where Jerry currently finds himself, and if he truly is in Heaven (or whatever you want to call it), do I myself want to end up in a place that admits complete and total bigot fuckwads (dammit, there I've gone and done it) as its members?


• I heard something this morning about Jenna Fischer (Pam from The Office) falling down some stairs and seriously hurting herself. In an internet search for information about this (no thanks to you, CNN.com), I stumbled across her husband's (writer/director James Gunn) MySpace page. Dude is hilarious (my favorite being the caption for a picture of himself with two actors from Scooby Doo--for which he wrote the script, I believe--that reads: "Scooby-Doo Reunion! - Matt Lillard, Linda Cardellini, and Count Fucko."). I actually found that Slither was a good movie, too (you know, in a completely intentionally campy horror movie kind of way).


• We're Fleeing to The Cleve this weekend for the wedding of one of my wife's friends, which should be an exciting and fun little weekend trip that doesn't break the bank. Add in a little stop on the way back south to see my Mom and step-father for a belated Mother's Day/Birthday cookout, and it should be an action packed weekend. We will miss our pooch, though.


• More info on the House of Cards show next weekend: Saturday May 26th at the Newport Music Hall as part of Memorial Day Weekend Fest. We play at 9:10 in the PM, I'm told. I only have 15 tickets, of which at least 5 are spoken for. Them shits is like currency now!


• Kid Cleveland has a great article about baseball cards, which (judging from the comment I left) made me a little nostalgic for the days when Mike DeLong and I would ride our bikes the six blocks into downtown Wooster to go to Don's Baseball Card Shop, which was also (in a major stroke of luck for us) basically next door to the only real video arcade in town (you know, back when video games only cost $.25 and arcades actually existed). Ahh, youth.


• There's stubborn, really stubborn, and then there's our president. What is it going to take, George? The dream is over. There's a saying I once heard that when someone comes to a personal crossroads, that "it's time to fight, fuck, or hit the fence." Since the first obviously has not worked, and the second gave us your dillbag twin daughters, I'd say that pretty much narrows it down for you.


• I have a potential piece of news that would make me very happy. I cannot yet reveal it. But, it's potentially big. Salivate, you dogs.


• Melissa and I watched Major League again over this past weekend (it was on one of the "free" movie channels that are part of Time Warner's HD-Pack, so we got to see it uncut and without commercials--the only *real* way to enjoy it). I noticed something that I'd never noticed before in all of the times I'd watched it. The two "longshoremen" working that are repeatedly shown saying things like "These guys don't look to fuckin' good," and "you know, these guys ain't so fuckin' bad"... you remember those guys? Go back, watch it again, and tell me who the speaking longshoreman looks like. And then realize how happy I was when I confirmed on IMBD what I'd shouted as we watched it: "HOLY SHIT, THAT'S THE JANITOR FROM 'SCRUBS'!"

That's all for now. I guess. See you in another couple of weeks.

Friend of Blogger Turns Out to be Genius...

...though this is something I've known for a long time.

My friend (and the former bassist-to-my-drummer in a previous life) Rob has ascended to the perch of music editor for the Village Voice in NYC.

And he's one of the most brilliant writers I know.

Check it out.

Soon you'll see why.

Glass Half Full, Glass Half Empty

As a Cleveland sports fan, the imperative is to temper all excitement with the knowledge that somewhere, sometime soon, the other shoe WILL drop. We don't know exactly where or when, we just have come to know that it will. At the present moment, coming off the Browns' best draft in their reincarnation, a Cavaliers playoff sweep, and the Tribe ending April 6 games over .500 and in first place, it would appear that the outlook is good for Cleveland sports. But, knowing what we know, let's examine the Cleveland sports landscape and look to see where the potential pitfalls lay.

Glass Half Full
Drafting Joe Thomas with the #3 pick means that the Browns can move Kevin Shaffer to either right tackle or right guard, where he would probably be better suited and would definitely help the Browns' line depth. It's no secret that our guard play was lacking last year, and adding Steinbach and Thomas helps the left side of the line, and also forces Shaffer over potentially to right guard, where he would very much help.

Glass Half Empty
Shaffer saw the Browns draft Thomas, and immediately asked for a trade. If they trade him, the Browns suddenly again become one injury away from complete suckitude on the offensive line. I remember being happy with the trade of Jeff Faine last offseason (hey, we'd just signed Bentley!) and we all saw how that worked out when Bentley subsequently went down to injury on the first play of training camp.

Glass Half Full
The Indians have a 4.21 team ERA, and only a .246 team batting average, and are still 6 games over .500 and leading their division.

Glass Half Empty
Umm, the Indians have a 4.21 team ERA and only a .246 team batting average.

Glass Half Full
The Cavs swept the Wizards out of the first round of the playoffs, and now get at least 4 days to rest up for their second round series against either the Nets or the Raptors. Meanwhile, the Bulls and Pistons will beat each other up.

Glass Half Empty
The Cavs weren't really challenged (by most accounts, the last three games were closer than they should have been, considering how under-manned the Wizards were) and didn't really dominate like they should have, and they have been somewhat lulled to sleep. A hot team (like the Nets) might pick them apart.


Really, I'm kind of reaching here, but as a Cleveland fan of many, many years, I've learned not to let myself get too excited. Call me a cynic; whatever. It's called bracing oneself for the inevitable.

Now, I don't know much about much....

Okay, so, it's 5:15 and I'm tanked.

The Browns, God love them, took Joe Thomas at the #3.

I like this pick. I don't have to explain why.



Now, also, the Browns traded the #36 pick this year PLUS their #1 pick next year to take Brady Quinn #22.

As anyone that reads this blog knows, I am not the biggest Brady Quinn fan that ever walked this Earth.

So, what do I think??

Well, Quinn was FREE FALLIN' (thanks, Tom Petty). So, what it really comes down to is:

Is Brady Quinn worth a second round pick?

The answer, assuredly, is YES.

The next question is:

Do the Browns think their first round pick in 2008 is worth Brady Quinn?

There, the question is up in the air.

If, by all accounts, the Browns think they will be good enough in 2007 to mean that their 2008 first round pick is NOT worth Brady Quinn this year, then they made a good trade. If, however, by the end of 2007 it appears that the Browns will be shitty enough that a 1st Round pick is in the top 10, then, they got HOSED.

Now, I don't claim to know much about much, but, I tend to think that JOE THOMAS at #3 and BRADY QUINN at #22 is worth a #36 and a first rounder next year. I don't want you to think that all of these blog entries mean that I think Quinn will suck.

Suck at #3, yes.

Suck??

No.

The Draft is, has been, and will always be about: V-A-L-U-E.

The Browns got two first rounders--by many accounts, two top-10 picks--for the price of two first rounders and a second rounder. Did they over-pay? Possibly. Did they fill two needs with first round picks in a make-or-break year?

Absolutley.


I love Joe Thomas. God Bless the #3 pick.

Truth and Rumors

Heard on 1460 The Fan this afternoon as I drove home from work:

A "source" called Chris Spielman this morning from inside the Browns organization, and reported that Phil Savage wants to draft Joe Thomas, and that, when he told Randy Lerner this, Lerner flat-out told him NO. Something along the lines of: this pick needs to be a deep-impact pick. Then I got out of the car.

First and foremost, I take all of these sorts of things with the proverbial grain of salt. But, to address this more specifically, two things:

1) If Lerner spent that much time hiring the right "football" people, and claims to want to hire the right people and then get out of the way, either he's lying or this source is full of shit. You don't hire a GM, save him from being fired when the marketing manager team president tries to shove him out the door, and then tell him how to do his job. If that's the way Lerner wants to run this team, he should either a) sell the team and get a different job, or b) be straight with the fans and tell us he's trying to make a marketing splash with this year's #1 pick. I'm not going to buy season tickets anymore if he's going to overrule his GM, coach, and scouts as to who is the best player to select for this dreadfully under-talented team.

2) Impact can be felt in a number of ways. Lerner has kept ticket prices down. I appreciate that, as a ticket buyer. But, sooner or later you have to put a GOOD FUCKING TEAM ON THE FIELD. What's more important: selling jerseys (Peterson, Quinn), or getting the best player for this team's current situation (Thomas)? It's like Ken Mattingly (Gary Sinese) says in Apollo 13, when working on the re-entry sequence and the engineer tells him they might have to skip turning on the parachutes: "If the chutes don't open, then what's the point?" Randy Lerner, if you don't actually try to build a good fucking team, what's the point of trying to market it to an increasingly impatient fanbase?? More specifically, if you have a swiss cheese offensive line who can't block anybody, what's the point of getting a blue-chip quarterback or running back?

We've seen our two most hated rivals win Super Bowls since 2000. I'm all for sacrificing Brady Quinn jersey sales if it means getting a player in one of the most (if not THE most) dire needed areas of the team: offensive line.

Let the people you pay to make the football decisions ACTUALLY MAKE THE FOOTBALL DECISIONS!!

"Stan Lee Insulted Me... but in Bizarro-World, that Means He LIKES Me!"

Browns owner Randy Lerner is said to prefer Brady Quinn, who is from Ohio but could take a season or two to develop. Browns general manager Phil Savage and coach Romeo Crennel are said to prefer Adrian Peterson, who could have immediate impact.

From CNNSI Truth and Rumors


My Comic Book Guy quote is being used to illustrate the following: why is it that the three decision makers for the Browns are not said to be interested in the "safest" pick (Savage's words, not mine) in Joe Thomas? Maybe them not saying anything about him at all really means they're going to take him.

If anything, I'm just hoping it's not Quinn. And while I know you already know that, I just needed to say it again.

Catching Up and Looking Forward

Some random notes in the week that was, is, and shall be:

• If you missed Jon Stewart slapping John McCain around like the sell-out bitch he is, please do check it out. This is only part 2 of the interview, but it is definitely riveting TV.


• Cavs are up 2-0 on the Wizards. In other news, scientists discovered the world is indeed round. Not having to play Miami, Chicago, or Detroit until the conference finals is looking mighty nice about now.


• Tribe has rebounded nicely from a 3-game sweep from the Yankees last week to win 5 of 6, including four games in the 9th inning or later. They have also beaten Johan Santana during this stretch. They have quietly snuck into first place in their division. And yes, I know it's April and by simply writing this I've doomed them to a large swoon.


• NFL Draft is (finally!) this weekend. So far, the tentative plan for me is to have the waitress at Fitzgerald's pour me a large shot of Irish Whiskey just before the Browns pick. If they pick Brady Quinn, I will then pound the shot and become beligerent as all hell. Be sure to check your police blotters.


• Along the lines of the draft, the smart pick is Joe Thomas. He may not be the best left tackle ever, but when will this team and its fans wake up to the fact that, if your offensive line sucks, it doesn't matter what QB and/or RB you have behind it? Even John Elway would suck throwing while laying on his ass after getting drilled seven times a game.


• It's not that I don't think JaMarcus Russell won't be a good pro (same with Adrien Peterson, Calvin Johnson). It's that the best fit for the Browns RIGHT NOW at #3 has to be the best offensive lineman in the draft. My preference would be the following:
  1. Joe Thomas
  2. Trade Down
  3. Adrien Peterson
  762. Brady Quinn


• I don't know if you've picked up on this or not, but I think Brady Quinn is OVERRATED. Mel Kiper can eat my ass.


• The Browns signed Simon Fraser to another year contract. That hooting and hollering you may have heard was from Larz.
  
• In band news, we will once again be playing at the Newport Music Hall on Saturday, May 26th. Tickets will be available if anyone cares.

That's all you get for now. Jackals.

Where Do We Go from Here?

I have been wrestling with this whole Virginia Tech thing, and my brain is all over the map. I have about 100 different thought fragments swimming around in my head like so many slippery fish, and I can't seem to grasp onto any one of them for more than a second or two. I don't claim to be right, here. Shit, I don't even claim to have answers. In fact, all I really have is a shit-ton of questions.

The best I can offer to whomever is willing to read is a very choppy, disjointed flow of words about what I'm wrestling with and reflecting on.

• I attempted to take a stab at exploring the issues surrounding something like this once before, but it brings no resolution any closer to me.


• The bottom line is that we will never truly know. We have pieced together almost everything there is to know about Columbine over the last eight years, but we still don't really know why those kids did what they did. And, I don't think anyone will ever truly know why Cho did what he did.


• I think we as human beings have a basic need to know why. It's why we call that girl that broke up with us every day, why we question the origins of our species, why we wonder about the mysteries of the universe and religion. It's human nature. That we will never know makes this especially troubling.


• Why them, not me? I can't imagine what life will be like for the survivors and eye-witnesses. My only hope is that they get the support they need as time goes on.


• As someone who took a lot of English and writing classes, the question of "hey, read this kid's plays and writing! He was obviously fucked up! Why didn't anyone do something?" is a tricky one. At what point do you decide that anyone who writes something disturbing has "problems"? I once wrote a story in creative writing about a divorced woman with severe mental problems that shot herself in the head at the end. Does that mean I'm suicidal? Should Dr. B have referred me to a counselor? If she had, would someone have forced me to go? It feels like a slippery slope.


• It also sounds, as more and more comes to light, like some of his teachers did try to do something. So, do we need to examine our counseling, and look at the processes for helping people in this type of situation?
• 
  
• And, at what point does a teacher have to take self-preservation into account, if they truly feel someone is teetering on the edge? For example: two of my fellow bloggers work in the world of teaching writing. KL has this to say: "I've actually thought about this alot - every time I give some roid-stoked athlete a 'D' or the fail the chairman of the BOT's daughter because she stops coming to class in October, I worry that my office will be stop #1 on the tour of terror."


• Along the lines of needing to know why, I think humans also have an inherent need to have someone to blame. The shooter is dead, so he doesn't ever have to stand up to public venting and scrutiny, but by God somebody has to. Why didn't the police get there sooner? Why didn't the school notify the students? Why didn't the teachers refer this kid to some counseling? Lots of questions, few--if any--viable answers.


• To hold police accountable seems crazy to me. How could they have even remotely considered planning for a situation such as this? Did they stand idly by? By most accounts that I've read/seen, the kid killed himself when it became apparent the police were closing in on him. So, who knows what the death toll could have been had they not done what they did? We can't have it both ways; we can't have our privacy with law enforcement being unobtrusive and at the same time expect them to be everywhere all of the time to prevent every possible crime.


• Why didn't the school notify the students? I tend to think that we've become such an "on-demand" society that we've created unreal expectations for ourselves and our institutions. Couple that in with hind-sight being 20/20, and the water gets choppier. What's the most effective way to notify 25,000 students of what appears at the time to be an isolated dorm shooting? At the time of the classroom shootings, what information did they have, and what information could they have sent out to everyone? And what method is best for getting that information out to 25,000 kids (plus faculty, staff, administration, etc.) in a timely and yet most noticeable way? And, despite hindsight, does anyone think that notifying students of (again, what appeared to be) an isolated incident would somehow have prevented the ensuing incident? Does the school (or, does any school, for that matter) have a contingency in place for deciding what dorm shootings will lead to further classroom shootings across the campus two hours later? Would everyone have stayed home? Could they have locked down every other building on campus to prevent him from entering?


• The following is a sweeping generalization, and I mean no disrespect to the victims' families, but I have to say it: we live in such a litigious society that I can't even finish this thought without getting upset. I shudder to think about what's coming down the road...


• So, after all of that, who's to blame? No one. Everyone. First and foremost, though, this country needs to grieve and attempt to heal. At some point, however, this country needs to step back and take a long, hard look in the mirror in an attempt to really get at the roots here. History has taught us that, unless we really are willing to make an inward change, as opposed to pointing fingers outward and attempting to be reactionary, this IS going to happen again. Did we ever think it was going to get worse than Columbine? Did we really do anything as a culture to ensure that it wouldn't? Are we now happy with the results?


• Guns. Ugh. When will we learn? How much more evidence do we need? The story I had heard was that this kid bought his handguns legally. He had his three forms of ID. He passed his background check. I understand the Second Amendment is open to wide interpretation, but at what point do we draw the line? The solution can't be more guns, more armed guards everywhere. It just can't. Steve brings up a good point: when do the politicians stop fearing the NRA? At what point does that political pressure from everywhere else outweigh that of the gun lobby?


• I'm going to fumble/punt here, so please bear with me... I understand the media has a duty to inform the public, and that this is the hugest story of the year by far. But, at what point does the media need to just back the fuck up? Whether they mean to or not, their need to get ratings and eyes glues to TV sets involuntarily adds a degree of celebrity to the people who commit these acts (bear with me, here; I use the term "celebrity" in the most macabre sense of the word). I think back to the movie "The Frighteners" where Jake Busey's character carved numbers into the foreheads of his victims because he was counting... and trying to outdo the serial killers before him. I don't like the need to label things like this the "Virginia Tech Massacre" or the "worst" school shooting in history (to me, this implies that we can assign a degree of evil or "badness" to something that really can't/shouldn't be quantified).


• To carry this a little further and dredge up something again from above, if this country doesn't wake the fuck up and take a good hard look at itself, this IS going to happen again. Whether we like it or not, there are bad people out there. I don't like giving them inadvertant goals or targets to strive for.


• And, along those lines, having said that I have basically no doubt that this will happen again, what do we as a society do about it? This is the $64,000 question. Let's look at this a bit...


• 1. Gun control. It has to be an option. Fuck the NRA if they can't see that. Guy bought his guns legally. The laws, therefore, don't seem to be working, do they?


• 2. Education and Health Care. Not relevent here? Not so fast. Go back up to bullet #1 above and read my previous entry on this subject. I don't have the energy to retype it.


• 3. Are we too violent? Have we become desensitized? Lord knows I've played more than my share of Grand Theft Auto, and I sat through "Hostel" once upon a time, but the line is still most decidedly NOT blurry for me. But, am I in the minority there? I don't know. It's a question our society really needs to ask itself.

I guess my hope that, in an effort to get "the story," we don't actually miss The Story. You know, The Story Of Grief. The Story Of Compassion. The Story Of Healing. And, most importantly, The Story That Has The Lesson To Learn At The End.

Fuck.

I am very sad.

Kilgore Trout - 1922 - 2007
I will say anything to be funny, often in the most horrible situations.
--Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

As you can no doubt guess from the lead quote of the header of this blog, the passing of Kurt Vonnegut makes me very sad. It all started in 8th grade. I read a short story called "Harrison Bergeron," and when Diana Moon Glampers (the Handicapper General) came in and shot the two main characters at the end to derail whatever positive, happy ending was formulating, I knew I had found "my guy" to read. My Vonnegut library is essentially complete; the paperbacks fill an entire shelf on my home office bookcase.

Vonnegut was like the Radiohead of novelists: technology and science are necessary evils that can cripple and water down the human race as much as they can enable it. He worked in a genre largely of his own making (satire sci-fi), and perfected it--often using his alter ego Kilgore Trout as a main focus and voice. His arsenal of characters are thoroughly woven throughout all of his books (Trout himself appears in some form or another in more novels than he does not).

Vonnegut loved playing with technology, science, and religion, which I always found to be eerily cool reading his works as a high school/college student in the 90s, 20 and 30 years after they were written. Player Piano touches on society's impending over-reliance on technology and the rifts it can create; Cat's Cradle rolls science, technology, and religion into one small package. (I always suspected that Vonnegut secretly loved things like the Mark Foley scandal, since Cat's Cradle has a central thread focusing on a unique religion that has been deemed illegal and that everyone outwardly despises, but yet that everyone also practices in secret.) In The Sirens of Titan, one of the main characters creates the "Church of God the Utterly Indifferent". Vonnegut always wrote about these very salient things, but he always did it in such a way that made the reader think while simultaneously asking, "What is this guy smoking?!?"

"He was imaginative; our generation of writers didn't go in for imagination very much. Literary realism was the general style. Those of us who came out of the war in the 1940s made sort of the official American prose, and it was often a bit on the dull side. Kurt was never dull." --Gore Vidal

From his cnn.com obit: "Vonnegut said the villains in his books were never individuals, but culture, society and history, which he said were making a mess of the planet."

Another of Vonnegut's biggest subjects was the idea of human free will. He touches on it in The Sirens of Titan in relation to religion, and how religion can affect people in terms of their willingness to accept things, to manipulate others, and to be manipulated. In his watershed Slaughterhouse-Five, the main character Billy Pilgrim becomes "unstuck in time" and relives many of his previous moments of life. At the same time, he becomes fully aware of his own death but just the same is powerless to change it.

Timequake involves a period of time where the universe elects to stop expanding, contract a bit, and then re-expand. This re-expansion causes humans to re-live a period of their lives, but they do so as if on video tape: they cannot control things that have already been done. They lose free-will. Of course, this is problematic when the universe again reaches its original point of expansion and continues anew. People are suddenly given free will again, only they have no idea what to do with it. The results (as they often are in Vonnegut's work) are catastrophic.

The messages are similar and simple: think for yourself, but be careful what you wish for. Pay attention, but don't always trust what you see on blind faith. Humanity is a delicate gift whose balance can be easily upset if it is not treated as such.

For me, it always came down to: an author who makes these kinds of arguments, but does so in a nutty way and is never afraid to make fun of himself... that's the guy for me. Who can forget his cameo in "Back to School" when he shows up to write Rodney Dangerfield's paper on Kurt Vonnegut, and the professor says, "Whoever wrote this obviously knows nothing about Kurt Vonnegut"?

Maybe that was his goal all along.

Godspeed, Kurt. We'll miss you.

Inspiration comes standard

In reading Steve's blog, I noticed that he and a former instructor/advisor we both had were starting a new blog endeavor.

I have been working (very sporadically) on the very beginning of a short story over the course of a couple of weeks, and it occurred to me that my blog here has largely devolved into my musing/bitching about sports and shamelessly plugging my band. As I have worked off and on with this new story beginning, I also realized that I need to do more "real" writing. The end result: why couldn't I start a new blog, too? I'm such a fucking copy-cat.

So, the birth of "One Trick Pony" has come to pass. It will be the home of any "short story beginnings with no resolution" that I tend to craft from time to time, and will hopefully also inspire me to spend more time writing (so as to maybe get good at it) and less time playing God of War II and whining about being geographically tied to the most miserable sports city on the face of the earth.

And, as I note on that page, if anyone of you (my former MUC writing center colleagues, I'm generally looking in your direction) have comments/critiques/resolution/direction for anything I write, it would be more than welcomed.