Fonzie is strapping on his water skis...

So, Melissa and I watched the season premiere of "Alias" tonight.

Meh.

As I previously said to someone, this show has "jumped the shark, circled back around, and jumped it again just for good measure."

Not only do I now despise Ben Affleck for forcing us to sit through a season of "baby" plot lines, but they killed off Vaughn (or did they?) in pretty boring fashion. You're telling me that after all these years of artfully dodging death in the C.I.A. (and apparently other areas as well) that he gets killed....? Right in front of Sydney....? At point-blank range.....? After this project that he's apparently been working on for at least half a decade.....? In a show that has already shown us a machine that can clone people....?

I know Michael Vartan probably wants off the show, as Melissa always mentions how much it must suck to play the love interest of your former real-life love interest, and to act as though the baby in the plot of the show you're on is yours even though it actually belongs to the formerly-Jenny-from-the-block-owned blockhead who stole your girl.

If this show lasts past this season, I will be surprised. Last season was bad enough where everything was always wrapped up in a nice little package at the end of each episode (more like a sitcom than a drama), and where the finale might as well have had an "inspired by '28 Days Later'" tagline in the credits. But this? One of the three main characters is dead and I have to hear about Sydney's freaking baby for an entire season?

Methinks no.

Ironically, I was originally pissed that our bowling league was on Thursday nights, because we wouldn't get to watch it. Now, we find that Alias will be on every Thursday at 8, and we don't have to leave the house until 9. Now I'm not even sure that I'll want to watch it, even though we will be able to.

For shame, Ben Affleck. Buy some condoms.

Intelligent Design: We will have proof

If people want me to believe in "Intelligent Design" as something that should be taught in schools, the following could go a long way to convincing me.

Tom DeLay has been indicted. If they were to fucking convict this worthless lying sack of shit, then I would agree that the following should be taught in schools:

"Realizing that Tom DeLay would become a corrupt abuser of power who wrongfully wrapped himself in the cape of morality, the Intelligent Designer saw it fit to give Mr. DeLay his come-uppance. This was all part of The Great Plan."

Godspeed, oh Great IDer.

Apparently I suck at keeping a Blog.

Wow. I've written like twice in the span on three weeks. Terrible.

Things have been busy. We're trying to get our house in order post-wedding presents. We were originally going to have a yard sale and donate all of the money to the Red Cross, but we instead decided simply to give all of the items away to a charity. Basically, we were going to have it this past Saturday, but the weather was crappy and it was an OSU home game.

The band is getting going again. We have three gigs lined up for the coming weeks, with a potential fourth show as well. That would put us at one a week for the entire month of October, which would be a nice way to get started again.

As of right now, we have the following scheduled:
Wednesday, October 5th @ Skully's
Thursday, October 20th @ High Five
Thursday, October 27th @ Oldfield's on High

We may also have a show on Wednesday, October 12th at Andyman's Treehouse.

At any rate, it should be a killer month, and hopefully the time off hasn't caused us to start sucking at music.

Just when I thought I'd seen it all...

The Browns went into Green Bay.

A place they'd never won, in the history of their franchise.

Against Brett Favre, Hall-of-Fame QB and full-time Media Whore.

With a starting QB (Trent Dilfer) who had never won in Lambeau Field in his entire career (8 previous starts).

With a defense that looked like it was standing still the previous game against Cincinnati.


The Browns went into Green Bay with all of that staring them in the face.

And they won.


What a day for Cleveland sports fans. Suddenly, 5 or 6 wins doesn't sound completely out of the question. Either that, or Green Bay is a really fucking bad football team.



In other news, anyone who (like me) listened to copious amounts of N.W.A. as a younger person will find this funny.

It's that wonderful time of year again...

It's opening weekend for the Browns. As my buddy Jon is demonstrating above, we get to ride up to the games in what has to be--as the kids are saying today--the fly-est whip out there...

The Browns may not do well this year, but the tail-gating portion of the season is what I most look forward to. I get to spend some quality time (i.e., eating a lot of bad food, drinking beer, belching, talking sports) with one of my best friends in the whole world, and I get to yell my lungs out at a football game... ahh, yes.

Some friends are going to seek our camper out in the muni lot to swing by for a couple of beers. In addition, to the two people that read this blog:

Steve, if you're going to be around the Muni Lot at all before the game, swing on by. Look for our monstrous 30+ year old camper, which is always parked near the Bone Lady (she of the large orange Volvo station wagon with the giant Bone-shaped light/sign on top). I'll pour you a beer from our tap.

It's going to be a great sports weekend:

• company picnic today at noon, followed by a buddy of mine and I trying to get in 9 holes afterward


• bowling league tonight (thanks, baby!)


• company golf scramble tomorrow, with three of my friends/co-workers


• watching Michigan hopefully hold off Notre Dame on Saturday


• taking Jon to the Tribe game (seats on the first base side of home plate, down close to the field) for his birthday on Saturday evening (thanks again, baby!)
  


• and getting up before the crack of dawn to begin drinking and gorging myself at about 8:30, in order to get into the proper frame of mind for the Browns HOME OPENER!!

Moon pie... what a time to be alive.

Stuff Like This Makes My Blood Boil

People wonder why there are still tensions in this country between people of different races.

Exhibit A:
It turns out there are interesting semantics in journalism.

Look at the captions for this pic:
Picture 1

And now this:
Picture 2

Wow. Two different pictures. The subject(s) of each picture have just technically stolen food from a grocery store. Yet, the person of color has "looted" it whereas the white people have "found food."

Freudian slip much?


Other News

In other news, we went to see Coldplay last evening here in Columbus. I cannot say enough about how good and energetic they are. I'll refrain from the DMB-style review that I did earlier this summer, but suffice it to say that I would recommend seeing them the next time they come through your town.

Also, my first of two fantasy football drafts was held last night. It was an autodraft, which always makes me cringe, as the computer tends to always pick crappy players. At first glance, though, I have to think my team has a good shot. I'm a little thin at WR, and I'm not sure about my QBs (in fact, I HATE one of them), but at RB I am a juggernaut. Check it:

QB:
Brett Favre
Jake Plummer (I wish I had more hands.... so I could give this pick FOUR THUMBS DOWN!)

RB:
Edgerrin James
Deuce McAllister
Curtis Martin
Warrick Dunn
J.J. Arrington

WR:
Drew Bennet
Steve Smith
Joey Galloway

TE:
Jermaine Wiggins
Jason Witten

K:
David Akers
John Carney

DEF:
Carolina
Seattle

If Carolina's defense reverts to 2003/Super Bowl form, that's a solid pickup. Any one of my top four running backs could be good. My wide receivers pretty much suck, unless Drew Bennet has extended his late-season-2004 deal with Satan. At least neither of my tight ends crashed their motorcycles in the off-season. David Akers is pretty much automatic, and John Carney's probably getting cut. What scares me is that Brett Favre is NOT going to be a reliable QB, and I will UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ever start Jake Plummer as my fantasy QB. I loathe him.

Which probably means I'll be starting him by week 4.

And then he'll throw 5 INTs.

One more draft (a live draft, thankfully) next Tuesday, and then next Sunday is the Browns home opener. I'll be there bright and early getting my tailgate on.

Whoops

So, I never thought something like this would happen.

I got the TV on Friday, and it was actually TOO BIG. Not too big in the sense that it didn't fit in the basement, but too big in the sense that our basement room simply isn't big enough to be able to get far enough away from the 57-inch behemoth to actually watch it without it being very grainy, which in an of itself defeats the purpose of an HD-TV.

For as much money as it was, I was not happy with the results. Great TV... just not the best TV for the house we currently live in (and that we will be living in for the foreseeable future).

But fear not. I have to give the people at Circuit City a lot of credit. They treated me very well. I went in that very same day, expressed my concerns, and was able to exchage the TV for a different, smaller one. They even recommended a media stand built by Sony for that specific TV, which killed two birds with one stone.

I give you:

Not quite as big, but still bigger than before.

It's a Sony 46-inch rear projection HDTV. It doesn't have the built in tuner that the Hitachi did, but we saved enough on it to buy the media stand (which was not cheap) and still have about $100 more left than we did after buying the first TV.

The only drawback is that it doesn't have the built-in HD tuner that the Hitachi did. However, in doing some research, if I can switch to Insight, we could get digital cable with a DVR and HD receiver + internet + basic phone service for only $20 more than we're paying for regular cable + internet with WOW! and phone with SBC. Hopefully Insight serves my area of the city. They have by far the best package, and they have all four major networks in HD, whereas the other two cable companies only have two.

So, this Friday, the new TV arrives, and the old-new one goes away.

The Anticipation is Killing Me...

Well, after that crazed week of shows last week, I'm slowing down a bit. Apparently, we're taking this month (September) off, which will be a good thing. More practicing, tighter shows, time to write new material, and possible time to record. Also, we finally got some pictures up on our website, so you can go and ogle us, including this picture of me that's 1 part rock star, 7 parts gay Clockwork Orange.

Now, as for the anticipation mentioned in the title, I hesitate to bring this up in my blog, knowing that my wife reads it and isn't nearly as excited as I am (that's the nicest way I could think of to say that) about this. Yet, tomorrow, at some point, the good people at Circuit City will be delivering the following to our home:

Am I crazy, or is that a HUGE TV?

It's a 57-inch, high-definition rear projection TV. I have my new grandparents-in-law and aunt-in-law to thank for it. Soon to follow will be some kind of digital cable package, and perhaps some HD channels as well, seeing as how the TV has a built-in HD tuner. To watch my Browns, Tribe, and college football games in HD...cue Homer drooling noise.

And further, DVDs with our progressive scan player and surround sound will be even cooler. PS2 will be mind-blowing.

I think I'm going to pass out.


In other news, we're attending "Brew at the Zoo" tomorrow night, which should be a fun mix of encouraged drinking and cute animals. Hopefully no taunting of said animals takes place.

We're then heading to my dad's for the rest of the weekend so that we can spend some time at Grandma's condo looking through her things before they get sold. I'm not sure yet whether this will be a nice time remembering her, or a sad time as we get ready to part with so much of what we remember from her home and thus our childhood visits. Needless to say, it will be nice in the end to be able to bring some keepsakes home with us.

All of this means missing out on another Browns pre-season game (I also missed out on the Giants game as we were traveling home from Jamaica), but since I think Carolina is going to pound on the Browns something awful, I'm not too sad.

Until next week...

Being in a band is fun.

This is quite the week for we House of Cards guys.

I got back into town from my honeymoon on Saturday night. We had a show Monday night at Bernie's, and have two this weekend: Friday night at Skully's, and Saturday night at Old School.

I wasn't able to play drums between July 31st and August 15th, and my hands apparently softened up in that amount of time in Jamaica. In other words, I tore about four holes in my skin Monday night. Not good times. Why bring this up? Because I'm hoping a 96-hour continuous rotation of aloe lotion, Neosporin and band-aids will allow me to grow the skin back by Friday..... you know, so I can then rip it all off again. Please, callous-fairy, come back to me!

In addition, we're hoping that these last two gigs will give us enough $$$ in the "Band Fund" that we can go into a studio and polish three or four tracks so that we may publish/pedal an EP. This would be huge in our quest to get people in Columbus to pay some fucking attention (!) to us, as it would allow us to get our music to people at our shows that like it, which then allows them to play it for their friends, etc., it allows us to play something for club owners, it allows us to get some material played on CD-101.... and on and on.

As of right now, we have the basis for about 12 tracks. We'd need to record some drums for all 12, and guitar and vocals for about 4. That should give us enough material to cull a bad-ass 4-song EP.

On a side note (nerd alert!), I've been working to get an entire sample of my entire drum kit (in other words, I use a microphone or two and create a sound file on my computer of every possible noise I can think of making on my drums) in order that I might be able to do some better drum work on my sequencer/computer. So, if anyone has any guitar diddies they'd like drums for, let me know, and send me a WAV file.

That is all. Let House of Cards rock your weekend, Columbus-ites!

Don't you just hate those uncomfortable silences?

Allow me to blow the dust and cobwebs off of this blog. It has been awhile.

I am now a happily married man, and our trip to Jamaica was simply amazing. As you can see, we were married at the Marblehead Lighthouse up on Lake Erie, and the spot we picked was absolutely perfect. My dad performed the ceremony, and the Reverand Doctor came through with a perfect homilee that tied us together with the lighthouse.

Some Jamaica pictures will be posted as soon as we get them developed (from those underwater disposable cameras). There's one picture in particular I'll need to scan; it is, quite possibly, the best picture of all time.

In summation, I've got a shit-ton of work to do, and I'll update more as time permits this week.

It's good to be back. But not as good as it would have been if we could have just stayed in Ocho Rios for another month or so.

Vacation!

I finally made it!

I finished all of my work by about 12:45 yesterday, we got our marriage license, and now we have nothing but a week of vacation between us and our wedding. Suffice it to say, I was ready.

And someone else is ready, too:


"Seriously, Mom, get the fuck off me!"

To me, this picture looks like a teenage boy getting ready for prom, and being mortified as his mother fawns over him in his penguin suit. Fitting.

However, Riley has calmed down a bit now that his hair has been cut, and he actually looks very dapper:




So, who says your dog can't be your ring-bearer?


This will probably be my last post for awhile, as we will be gone after Tuesday. With the honeymoon to Jamaica following, I won't be back until around August 15th. I'm sure all two of you that read this will be crushed.

Cranking up the Bob Marley,
--Master P

A Day and A Half...

That's all that I have left of work before vacation, marriage, and honeymoon. Suffice it to say that, with the inevitable time crunch of getting ready for a 2-week vacation from work (the rush) and the last-minute needs of planning a wedding, I'll be ready for a little R&R with the lady.

Riley got "shorn" yesterday, and is back to "I'm 9 But I Look Like a Puppy" form. His new bow-tie fits perfectly and makes him look quite dapper, in fact. Hopefully some pictures will be up soon...

As for me, between dieting, burning the candle at both ends, and working out harder than ever essentially every night, the electronic scale at the gym says that I'm down to 180.8 pounds (at 6'3" tall, mind you), which is a number this hombre hasn't sniffed since probably the summer after college, which is incidentally when I had moved to a new city, had no friends, decided that binge drinking five nights a week wasn't a good idea, and found out that when you have to pay to go to the gym (and said gym is two blocks from your office, and that going keeps you from having to sit in rush hour traffic), you're about 10 times more likely to go. I keep doing those crunches in the hopes that I'll miraculously have a 6-pack before the trip to Jamaica, but I think we all know that ain't happenin'.

House of Cards has one last show before I shove off on vacation, as we're again playing this Sunday night at Victory's. Assuming I don't play like a 9-year-old with Parkinson's again this week, it should be a good show. We're opening for a band called Kobra Khai, which has great implications both in name and in their sound (as heard on their website). I'm looking forward to unwinding, as my vacation will have technically already started.

Finally, in other news, the debate over the existence of Sasquatch, a k a Bigfoot, an ape-like creature said to haunt the wilderness of western Canada, among other places, has entered the world of modern DNA testing. Apparently, they found some fur, and are having its DNA tested, to see if it matches with other indigenous animals. If not, it *could* be Bigfoot...?

Personally, I'm hoping the tests simply confirm that Rip Taylor was out for a late night stroll in northwest Canada.

Prove me wrong, scientists.

Tired. Meh.

So, I didn't get into bed until 3:00 last night, as the show went late. I had a good time, despite probably playing the worst drums since 8th grade "stage band" back in junior high school. I guess we all have off nights.

Melissa took me to an Indians game on Saturday for my birthday, and they came through with a victory for me. We spent the night in Cleveland, and then drove home yesterday in time for my softball playoffs: the redux (apparently, the league decided we should play again, because the other teams complained). It mattered not; we won the first game 13-9, and the second game 20-13. Vindication!

The gig was alright; we had a great sound guy, but the club was about 100 degrees and there were no fans on the stage. As I mentioned, I played like a 9-year-old, but we had a good time all told. They asked us to play there again this coming Sunday, so I guess we couldn't have been that bad.

I lack the energy to type anymore.

Meh.

"I did nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be."

Finally, a weekend in which neither Melissa nor I had anything to do, save a small party Saturday night at a couple-friend of ours' house (Is that correct grammar? I have no idea! Not good.). I had some friends over earlier on Saturday, and I think we played a grand total of about 25 collective hours of Playstation 2. God bless the 4-player multi-tap! 4-player video hockey has to be the coolest thing ever. Body checks were abundant.

I also discovered (read: was shown) a game called God of War (which I know a great many people have been raving about, but you have to remember: I'm at my busiest time of the work-year and we're planning a wedding), which may have shaken my faith that Grand Theft Auto was the most addictive game I've ever played. Needless to say, after 15 minutes of this game, I was like Homer Simpson eating a Rib-wich.

In other weekend-that-wasn't news, my team won our league's softball tournament, because neither of the two teams we were supposed to play showed up. Good times. No, wait. Bad times. I don't know. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

At any rate, the countdown is on: 18 days until the wedding! I can't wait! There are still a few loose ends (ha!) that need to be tied up before the wedding, but things are on course. I think we'll both be glad when it's over, just from the planning standpoint.

I recently revisted my office bookshelf and picked up and began re-reading After Henry, which was once used for a class I took in college. The first two pieces in the book are about politics, and focus on a) the Reagan administration, and b) the Dukakis/Bush election of 1988. Dated, yes. But, I'm finding them fairly poignant when compared with today's landscape. In the campaign piece, she talks about being on Dukakis's plane as he lands and tosses a baseball on the tarmac, to show that he's a regular guy in touch with regular people, and that he's tough (as he does it in Arizona in 115-degree heat). She reports on how so many things are done just for the excuse of being covered by the traveling press corps, and of reporters willing to shill for the campaign in return for special privileges (i.e., cover things how we like them, or you get no access to the candidate). Sound like a recent election to anyone else?

The other was also interesting, in that it was largely a comment about how out-of-touch the Reagans were with everyday Americans. I find it very disheartening considering how many close ties there are in terms of Bush's out-of-touchedness in the current state of affairs. It's like hearing Pearl Jam's cover of "Masters of War" by Dylan with regard to the current Iraq war: you know it was written in a different time with a different context, but it fits so well right now.

In summation, they should fire Karl Rove already.


In other news, we have a show this Sunday night at Victory's, and it looks like we *might* have one next Friday (7/29) at Little Brother's. Moving up in the world!


And now, back to the wall.

Work Getting You Down?

Sometimes I find that "working" tends to get in the way of some of the fun things I like to do.

Sometimes I also find that the sequencer on my laptop computer can be used to do many fun things, which often alleviate feelings of boredom.

I submit to you: Metallurgy.

Have fun.


Hooray, Boredom!

What a weekend

So, the show went well on Friday night. We had a guest appearance from Don V., who I'm told is a Columbus institution. Apparently, he hangs out every night in either Bernie's or Larry's (bars) and demands to sing the theme from "Batman" on stage with whatever band happens to be playing. In our case, there were three bands, and I believe there were three renditions of "Batman". I don't think I can accurately put this experience to words. One has to see it to believe it.

In other news, we have another show coming up on July 24th at Victory's down in the brewery district area, opening for Undivided. We sound nothing like them. Should be great.

And, finally....

After a hard weekend, we finally got the deck essentially done. I apologize that the following pictures look like shit, but we have a crappy digital camera (hello, wedding registry!) and they were taken after 9:00 at night last night. I had to get tricky with the PhotoShop to get them to look normal in terms of contrast. Unfortunatly, that means grainy-ness. Sorry about that.

I wish I had some pictures of what our backyard looked like when we bought the house (for a realistic portrait, visit your local junkyard). To see the transformation (especially from old deck to new) has been a treat. We sat on our new deck last night and realized that this was what we'd been dreaming of when we started working on the yard: a nice, quiet, junk-free place to enjoy our evenings together.

I give you...





Not too shabby. However, due to light reflections and his outright coolness, apparently our dog always shows up on film looking like the Hound of Satan.




Finally, one more view:




I can barely move this morning, but sitting there last night sipping a cocktail with my wife-to-be and our lovable dog was all that I needed.

From where the sun now stands, I will write no more about the Cleveland Baseball Team forever.

That's right. Breaking out some Chief Joseph on ya. Mildly ironic, considering the name of the "Cleveland Baseball Team" worked into the title.

So, I've written about the Cleveland Indians three times in this blog. Three times they were on a hot streak, and three times I wrote about said hot streak. And, not surprisingly, three times they've gone on to lose 4 games in row right after I wrote about them (well, currently, they've only lost three in a row, but they've looked bad doing it, so one can only assume they're going for the quad-fecta tonight in Yankee Stadium).

So, I've decided not to write about them anymore. I'm killing this team!


Big show tonight at Bernies. Should be fun.

Hopefully, by this time Monday morning, our backyard will have a finished deck in it.

Type 1

I've uploaded a backing-track MP3 of my band's newest song. There aren't guitars, vox, or live drums, but it's a pretty bad ass song even with just the backing parts.

Just imagine this with two guitars over it, some vocals, and some live drums in the middle, and that's our sound.

Oh yeah, and a bullhorn.

Type 1

Of Long Weekends and Short Work Weeks

There's just something magical about coming to work for the first time in a given week, and having it be Wednesday already. While I don't always advocate working for a large corporate giant, sometimes it does have its perks. For example, we get every Friday afternoon between Memorial Day and Labor Day off. We work an extra hour each day Monday-Thursday, but it's worth it. Plus, they gave us both Monday and Tuesday off.

So, to sum up: this work week consists of 2.5 actual work days. Nevermind that I brought work home over the weekend and did some of it on July 4th. 2.5 work days. Can't beat that.


What's on my radar this week? Well, we picked out our wedding bands yesterday. That's a cool experience; trying on and deciding what rings will be on our fingers for the rest of our lives (assuming, that is, that I don't balloon up to 350+ or something). I went with the white gold motif, and the ring has shiny edges and a braided pattern in the middle. She went with two bands: one on each side of her engagement ring, each with small diamonds set in. She's going to look like a gangsta rapper, and I couldn't be more excited.

The Indians have been on an absolute tear lately. I believe the last time I wrote about them they were 37-30, and they then proceeded to lose 4 straight games. They have since, however, won 9 out of 12 to run their record to 46-37, with five more games before the All-Star break. When one considers that this team was atrocious in April and for a large chunk of May, the fact that they're still on pace to win 90 games (and I think even more than that, when all is said and done), one finds that to be pretty amazing. If they can make a move for one more bat in the lineup (preferably a right-handed hitter with some pop) before the trading deadline, look out.

House of Cards has a show this coming Friday night at Bernie's down on campus. We're opening for two other local bands, which means that (for a change) my friends might actually be able to show up, seeing as how it's a Friday night and it won't be too late. Word on the street is that my parents (who will be in town so that my step-father and I can finish the deck) might even make it out. We've got a new song that we're putting the finishing touches on this evening, and it's a little more rockin' than some of the other stuff. Plus, don't forget the bullhorn (see previous entry, below).

Finally, I'll leave you with this. Check this site out: apparently, Yellowstone Park is just a huge super-volcano. He writes:

The last eruption of a super volcano was in Toba, Sumatra, 75,000 years ago. It had 10,000 times the explosive force of Mount St. Helens and changed life on Earth forever. Thousands of cubic kilometres of ash was[sic] thrown into the atmosphere - so much that it blocked out light from the sun all over the world. 2,500 miles away 35 centimetres of ash coated the ground. Global temperatures plummeted by 21 degrees. The rain would have been so poisoned by the gasses that it would have turned black and strongly acidic. Man was pushed to the edge of extinction, the population forced down to just a couple of thousand. Three quarters of all plants in the northern hemisphere were killed.

Scientist[sic] have discovered that the ground in Yellowstone if[sic] 74cm higher than in[sic] was in 1923 - indicating a massive swelling underneath the park. The reservoir is filling with magma at an alarming rate. The volcano erupts with a near-clockwork cycle of every 600,000 years. The last eruption was more than 640,000 years ago - we are overdue for annihilation.

To quote Kent Brockman, Channel 6 News: "Hmm. Alright. A grim portrait of things to come."

The point? The site on which I found this link included some friends of mine discussing the relevence of a prophecy that, according to the Mayan calendar, the world will end on December 12, 2012 (Mitch's assertion: due to an eruption of said volcano). My response? Well, first, a little background.

You know that guy that we all know? The guy who has to be right about everything? The guy who, no matter what the argument, pitches his $.02 in and calls everyone else bitches if they disagree with him? Well, this sports forum has one of "those guys" in daily attendance. We'll call him (actually, he calls himself) "jdawg". So, back to the question of annihilation due to Yellowstone Super Volcanic eruption. My response?

This is the kind of argument jdawg would get into:

The world would end, but as we're all laying there dying, he'd be sure to remind us all that he was right and we were all wrong, and that even though the world is ending, Pac Man Jones is still a great cornerback: best in the 2005 draft.

What's the point? If it happens, we're fucked. If it doesn't happen, we still have plenty of things in this country/world that can fuck us. Worrying about a volcano that can't be stopped seems pretty pointless to me. Bush would somehow find a way to blame the terrorists. Or, the volcano would be erupting because it "hates our freedom."

Probably only one person will find that funny, but if I can reach one person, I've done my job.

Hopefully, our neighbors have a Flanders-like streak in them, and are prepared with bomb "shelter-inis" in their backyards that we can mooch into. Godspeed, little doodle.

The Reign of Terror is Over!!

So, do you remember that one level on Super Mario Brothers 3? The one where you're running through the desert, and that angry sun is swirling around in the sky overhead? And then every so often, he dive-bombs Mario/Luigi and tries to fuck their shit up?

Remember this guy?

He's the bastard that has been beating down on Central Ohio for quite some time, and that has generally been turning our house into a Swamp-Ass Sauna.

Well, no longer!

As of about 10:00 this morning, the A/C has been fixed, and for a mere $50 service fee. I would strongly recommend to anyone buying a house: get a home warranty. I compare it to AAA Roadside Assistance: you never realize how smart it is to have until you lock your keys in your running car at 2:00 AM (or, in this case, until your air conditioner breaks in the span of the hottest stretch of days of the entire summer thus far).

Melissa is finally back from North Carolina, and now that the A/C is fixed, we're hoping to pick up our pooch to reunite the entire family. It'll be good to have the little guy home. He's been gone since Monday morning, so I've essentially had three days with nobody to talk to at home. Not good times.

In other news, my band has a show next Friday night here in Columbus at Bernie's on High Street. Should be a good time. John, our singer, has purchased a 10-watt bullhorn from Radio Shack. No rock band is really a rock band until the singer is yelling/singing through a bullhorn. This is our first local show on a Friday night in quite some time, so hopefully the turnout will be better than usual.

Remember that scene in the Simpsons where Homer has the air conditioner, and he's bundled up in the living room while his sisters-in-law melt outside the window? That will be me sooner rather than later.