The Big Break(?)

So, wow, I don't know where to start with this one.

I've been in my band now since roughly September or October of 2004. I played my first show with them on February 22nd of 2005. We played on a Tuesday night at the High Five club, which is a shithole south of campus. It was just Justin, John, and I. Our backing track wasn't mixed. I was wearing big doofy headphones. Who knows if we were any good? I was nervous.

Since then, we've played 33 shows all over Columbus. I've only really been nervous one other time: Little Brother's. And then, this happened:


We found out we're headlining THE NEWPORT.

This, coupled with Little Brother's, is my Columbus Band Dream. I've seen a ton of my favorite bands here (Cave In, Dada, Helmet, Built to Spill, Guster, Filter [though they sucked], Matthew Sweet, Chevelle....), and now, we're getting to play there. And, we're headlining. As in, our names are on the marquis.


Alright, enough of the drivel. Anyone and everyone that reads this blog: your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to clear your schedule on Friday night, July 21st, and get to Columbus any way you can. Come see my band AT THE FREAKIN' NEWPORT.

You won't regret it. And I will thank you thusly.

Rasheed should probably Rashut the hell up.

Now, I know in my heart that the Cavs probably aren't going to win this series, but if you were a Pistons player or fan, wouldn't you want Rasheed Wallace (he of the 7 points in game 4) to shut his freakin' mouth?

"Even the sun shines on a dog's [behind]," Wallace said. "There ain't no way . . . they're going to beat us in no series. They beat us tonight, which is good for them. . . . But, nah, they ain't going to beat us in the series."

That may be true, but if I were Flip Saunders, Richard Hamilton (who is a stud, by the way), or Chauncey Billups, I'd be cornering Sheed in the locker room, ripping his water bong out of his hands, and telling him to shut his fucking cake hole.

James wasn't great, but wasn't terrible. He was only one assist and two rebounds shy of a triple-double, but he also turned the ball over a lot and had a pretty miserable night shooting the ball (his sick step-away three at the halftime buzzer and fourth quarter cross-over J right in TPrince's mug notwithstanding).

What we've discovered is that if the Pistons don't shoot fucking 8000% from three-point range (and, really, in general) and can't establish an inside offensive presence (after hurting his ankle, I'd venture that Rasheed was maybe at 40% at best), the Cavs can stay close. And, when you can stay close into the late stages of the game, having the best player on the floor gives you a chance to win.

At any rate, the Cavs "guarateed" themselves at least one more home game. And, if they can force a Game 7, things will probably get really tight around the throat areas for all of those Pistons.

Even you, Rasheed.

More Big Business Garbage

More proof that anything and everything is for sale, and that corporations run this country:

Net Neutrality. From savetheinternet.com:

Congress is pushing a law that would abandon the Internet's First Amendment -- a principle called Network Neutrality that prevents companies like AT&T, Verizon and Comcast from deciding which Web sites work best for you -- based on what site pays them the most. If the public doesn't speak up now, our elected officials will cave to a multi-million dollar lobbying campaign.

Sound familiar? Money talks, and bullshit walks.

Why you should care:

Net Neutrality allows everyone to compete on a level playing field and is the reason that the Internet is a force for economic innovation, civic participation and free speech. If the public doesn't speak up now, Congress will cave to a multi-million dollar lobbying campaign by telephone and cable companies that want to decide what you do, where you go, and what you watch online.

This isn't just speculation -- we've seen what happens when the Internet's gatekeepers get too much control. Last year, Telus -- Canada's version of AT&T -- blocked their Internet customers from visiting a Web site sympathetic to workers with whom the company was having a dispute. And Madison River, a North Carolina ISP, blocked its customers from using competing Internet phone services.

How would the gutting of Network Neutrality affect you?

• Google users—Another search engine could pay dominant Internet providers like AT&T to guarantee the competing search engine opens faster than Google on your computer.


• Innovators with the "next big idea"—Startups and entrepreneurs will be muscled out of the marketplace by big corporations that pay Internet providers for dominant placing on the Web. The little guy will be left in the "slow lane" with inferior Internet service, unable to compete.


• Ipod listeners—A company like Comcast could slow access to iTunes, steering you to a higher-priced music service that it owned.


• Political groups—Political organizing could be slowed by a handful of dominant Internet providers who ask advocacy groups to pay "protection money" for their websites and online features to work correctly.


• Nonprofits—A charity's website could open at snail-speed, and online contributions could grind to a halt, if nonprofits can't pay dominant Internet providers for access to "the fast lane" of Internet service.


• Online purchasers—Companies could pay Internet providers to guarantee their online sales process faster than competitors with lower prices—distorting your choice as a consumer.


• Small businesses and tele-commuters—When Internet companies like AT&T favor their own services, you won't be able to choose more affordable providers for online video, teleconferencing, Internet phone calls, and software that connects your home computer to your office.


• Parents and retirees—Your choices as a consumer could be controlled by your Internet provider, steering you to their preferred services for online banking, health care information, sending photos, planning vacations, etc.


• Bloggers—Costs will skyrocket to post and share video and audio clips—silencing citizen journalists and putting more power in the hands of a few corporate-owned media outlets.

Blocking Innovation

Corporate control of the Web would reduce your choices and stifle the spread of innovative and independent ideas that we've come to expect online. It would throw the digital revolution into reverse. Internet gatekeepers are already discriminating against Web sites and services they don't like:

• In 2004, North Carolina ISP Madison River blocked their DSL customers from using any rival Web-based phone service.


• In 2005, Canada's telephone giant Telus blocked customers from visiting a Web site sympathetic to the Telecommunications Workers Union during a contentious labor dispute.


• Shaw, a major Canadian cable, internet, and telephone service company, intentionally downgrades the "quality and reliability" of competing Internet-phone services that their customers might choose -- driving customers to their own phone services not through better services, but by rigging the marketplace.


• In April, Time Warner's AOL blocked all emails that mentioned www.dearaol.com -- an advocacy campaign opposing the company's pay-to-send e-mail scheme.

This is just the beginning. Cable and telco giants want to eliminate the Internet's open road in favor of a tollway that protects their status quo while stifling new ideas and innovation. If they get their way, they'll shut down the free flow of information and dictate how you use the Internet.

(again from savetheinternet.com)

Wow. So, in other words, if you're losing business to smaller companies, don't make a better product. Use your muscle and political influence to make it legal to shut them out of the marketplace.

And, I suspect they could call this the "Move On" law in part, because I'm sure the influence of sites like Move On is a large part of what's driving this push to block sites on ISPs.

Get on board to save Net Neutrality. If you're reading this blog, it directly affects you.

Did I say 4-1? Try 5-1

Updating yesterday's numbers:

Kansas City Royals:
record vs. Indians: 5-1 (.833)
recrod vs. rest of the AL: 5-21 (.192)

Kansas City Royals:
team batting average vs. Indians: 76-206 (.369 avg.) w/ a .549 slugging percentage
team batting average vs. rest of AL: 187-849 (.220 avg.) w/ a .346 slugging percentage

Kansas City Royals:
team ERA vs. Indians: 4.83
team ERA vs. rest of AL: 5.65

At least John Buck didn't play. And, in truth, their average and ERA numbers went down (slugging did go up).... and they still won 10-8. Tribe sucks.


(Spoilers ahead)
As for the Alias/Lost parade last night, Alias annoys me just a bit. First of all, Melissa and I made up a new drinking game: take a drink anytime a character says the word "endgame" (with two drinks if it's "Rambaldi's endgame"). You'll be passed out by the end of the episode. I guess my problem is that the main characters of this show always seem to escape death (really, would the brutal, heartless Anna Espinosa go through the trouble of blowing up Syndey's car, or would she just shoot Sydney and get it over with? I think the latter, myself), and then the other characters just die off. I know they're wrapping this show up in two more episodes, but I find it hard to believe that Anna would go out like that. At any rate, gear up for many ENDGAMES!!

As for Lost, it finally looks like they're going somewhere in a fairly linear direction: Michael's driving the bus. Our fair DUI maidens are both gone now; let that be a lesson to the rest of you lost-aways. As for Eko and Locke, Locke's shoes are now on the other feet, so to speak, and I find it interesting that now he's the one with doubts and Eko is the one trying to convince him of faith. A sort of passing of the torch, if you will.

As for the "?" hatch (a.k.a., "The Pearl"), red herring or truth? It certainly affected John. And really, any time I can see another one of those creepy orientation films, bring it on.

And, for the record, when Libby spit up blood, I jumped like a teenager at a slasher flick.

It's Official: I HATE the Indians this year

Okay, okay, so HATE is a strong word. That said, let's throw out a few numbers:

Kansas City Royals:
record vs. Indians: 4-1
recrod vs. rest of the AL: 5-21
Do the math.

John Buck, Catcher, Kansas City:
2006 stats vs. Indians: 7-12 (.583 avg.), 2 HR, 6 RBI in four games
2006 stats vs. rest of the AL: 9-51 (.176 avg.), 0 HR, 4 RBI in 21 games
Ridiculous.

Kansas City Royals:
team batting average vs. Indians: 64-171 (.374 avg.) w/ a .526 slugging percentage
team batting average vs. rest of AL: 187-849 (.220 avg.) w/ a .346 slugging percentage
Seeing a trend here?

Kansas City Royals:
team ERA vs. Indians: 4.20 (best of any Indians opponent)
team ERA vs. rest of AL: 5.65
Will it ever end?


The Tribe is 17-17. Since their 6-1 start, they're 11-16, and their pitching has been streaky. They're in third place, 3.5 games behind the Tigers, and already 7 games behind the White Sox. Did they not learn anything last year? It would be nice not to have to try to make up 15 games in July and August. I'm off the bandwagon for the year. They're still my team, and I'll still follow them; don't get me wrong. But if they don't shore up their pitching soon (another 10 runs to the lowly Royals last night), though, the season will be over before they know it.

Sigh.

Baby Steps

Well, as amazing as the Cavs/Wizards series was (Cavs won, 4-2, with a last-second shot in overtime by the venerable Damon Jones), it's safe to say that the season is effectively over for the Cavs. It's alright. Important steps were taken: they made the playoffs, they won ugly in the playoffs, they won their first playoff series. They're just going to get bounced in the second round by the best team in the league.

After a drubbing at the hands of the Pistons on Sunday (113-86, and it wasn't even that close), the Cavs got a good measuring stick for how far they really need to go. And, also, the Pistons really are the best TEAM in the league. LeBron may be the best player, but he can't beat an entire team on his own.

Some anomolies in this game: I hope to God that the Pistons won't shoot 10-11 from 3-point range for an entire half ever again. They shot 65% as a team in the first half. No team in the NBA can withstand that.

I've made my peace. Any games the Cavs win in this series are basically gravy for me at this point. I think the Cavs will win one game, but I'd be hard-pressed to give them more than 1.


In other news, the Tribe keeps floating along... 3-2 on their mini west coast swing. Here's the stat of the day: In the Tribe's 17 wins this season, the starting pitchers have a 2.78 ERA (33 earned runs, 106 2/3 innings). In their 15 losses, they have an 8.60 ERA (71 earned runs in 74 1/3 innings).

They have three in Kansas City this week, and it would be nice to see them just crush the Royals. The Royals have the best luck, though: they get the Indians twice at home at the end of long road trips. Seems fair to me. Again, though, if the Indians can go in and lay the smack down, it would be nice momentum going into a big weekend series with the Tigers at home.


The Browns traded Trent Dilfer to San Francisco for Ken Dorsey and a draft pick. The pros: apparently, Dilfer was not the consumate pro/mentor we all thought he'd be. Apparently, he didn't like sitting at all behind a rookie. Great move. He gets a trade to SF, which is close to his hometown. Good for him. We get Ken Dorsey (he of the great college career, but no arm strength) and a seventh round pick in next year's draft.

I don't care much for Dilfer myself, but I'd still rather have him than Dorsey, in terms of veteran experience. At any rate, Dorsey has said all of the right things since the trade (i.e., works hard, doesn't care about backing up Frye, etc.), but you'll pardon me if I say I've already heard those. Plus, that means that Ken Dorsey is a knee injury away from being our starting quarterback. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.


I hope to have a little more this afternoon, as I'm going to be calling Safe Auto again today. Dirty bastards.

10,000 Days

Run--don't walk--to your nearest music dealing store and purchase this album. Holy fuck.

Pick up the phone / the call is free

Free indeed.

I always wondered how certain car insurance companies could afford to be so much "cheaper" than other companies, and then I found out. With apologies to any WTtMH readers who may have this company...

FUCK SAFE AUTO.

There. I've said it. Pick up the phone... the call is free. Then just pray to God you never, ever hit someone (or get hit by someone who has Safe Auto).

Two weeks ago, I had the misfortune of being rear-ended while waiting to get on the freeway. The woman that rear-ended me basically ended both of my bumpers (by pushing me into the car in front of me). Estimate: $1500+ to get both bumpers fixed. According to the police officer at the scene, I was not at fault at all, because the woman behind me hit me and pushed me into the car in front of me. No big deal, right?

Not so much. Her Safe Auto insurance guy called me the Monday after the accident to tell me that they were "conducting their own investigation" into the accident. Investigation?? Of what? She hit me. It doesn't take a team of MIT scientists to conduct physical experiments to figure it out. There's a yield sign. There were cars coming with the right of way. The car in front of me stopped to yield. I stopped behind him. She fucking hit me square in the center of my bumper, going at least 25 or 30 MPH (enough to pop one side of my bumper off of the back quarter panel, at least).

Then, the answer was: "Well, the car she was driving wasn't on her policy, so we may not be covering the accident damages." EXCUSE ME? Duely noted. And allow me to retort: FUCK YOU. Insurance covers the driver, and any other drivers on the policy. That's how it's always worked, since the dawn of time. Otherwise, no one's insurance would ever pay for any accident they had in someone else's car, and someone who had no fault in the accident would get stuck with a higher premium. I know that if I wreck my wife's car, MY INSURANCE is paying for it, and MY RATE is going up... not hers.

What's worse is that, if I didn't follow up with Safe Auto, they'd be content to ignore this claim. He told me to "give [them] a week to finish [their] investigation," and now I can't get the jabroni on the phone anymore. Nor has he called me to update the investigation.

And, of course, I could have the good people at my State Farm office go after Safe Auto, except that then I have to file my own claim and pay my $500 deductable. To which I reply with: BULL SHIT.

The light at the end of the tunnel is that 3-C Body Shop (they also of the annoying commercials) are pretty good at going after insurance companies themselves, since they're the ones that get the money for the repairs at the end of the day.


In summary: Fuck Safe Auto. Fuck their commercials. Maybe it's just me, but you can't put a price tag on customer service. Maybe my State Farm insurance costs more, but I also know that I can call or walk into my agent's office any time of any day and speak to him within 15 minutes, and get a satisfactory answer to my question. Sure, Safe Auto gives you the minimum coverage allowable by the law, thus making you "legal for less," but as Stan said in Office Space, "What do you think of someone who just does the bare minimum, um kay?"

With respect to anyone who has Safe Auto, I personally think they suck. My insurance company told me they suck. The body shop told me they suck. And in this case, I'm the Decider.

The Legend Grows...

Sometimes pictures are worth a thousand words.

121-120. Cavs up 3-2. And, just a reminder: he's only 21. What else needs to be said?

Well, I was half-right...

The Browns did take Kamerion Wimbley with their first pick, and Ngata was off the board, but the reason he was off the board was because we traded our #12 pick with Baltimore, and THEY took him. We only got a 6th round pick from the deal which seems a bit light, but with that pick, we took a nose-tackle from Stanford. It became clear that the Browns never had any intention of taking Ngata. Whatever.

I don't know what to think about Wimbley as our first pick. If he comes as advertised, he should make a nice transition to outside 'backer in our 3-4 defense and bring some pressure from the outside. The combination of Wimbley and McGinnest should solidify our pass rush greatly, assuming Wimbley does what he's supposed to do and doesn't flip a motorcycle or anything stupid like that (see: Winslow, Kellen).

Overall, I think the Browns did well. Most publications I read gave them a solid B+ or A- grade (or, in the case of USA Today, 3 out of 4 stars).

The Good:

• Trading Jeff Faine to the Saints (whose previous Pro Bowl center we just stole in free agency) to move up and take D'Qwell Jackson in round 2. He was only the ACC Defensive Player of the year, beating out 3 NC State and 4 FSU defensive players taken in the first round ahead of him. He's a bit smallish for inside 'backer in a 3-4, but his football instincts are supposed to be tremendous, he's very versatile, and he's a tackling machine. The Browns don't always tackle well, so anyone that can improve that is an upgrade. I could forsee him unseating both Matt Stewart and Chaun Thompson to play inside next to Andra Davis. Good pick.


• James Hamilton - this guy was picked in the fifth round, and is a running back from Washington State. He's small, but is shifty, versatile, and only ran for 1900 freakin' yards last season. He'll be a very good change-of-pace back to Reuben Droughns and on third downs.


• Lawrence Vickers - fullback from Colorado, widely regarded as one of the best fullbacks in the draft. He can do it all: run, block, and catch. Our current fullback, while a good blocker, can't run or catch all that well. Vickers fits better into the scheme our offense plays, and should be immensely valuable on thrid-and-short situations and goal-line situations. And all of this for a sixth round pick. Stealing.


• Overall, the Browns primarily drafted based on need: three linebackers, a backup offensive guard, a nose tackle, a change-of-pace running back, a versatile fullback, and a possible second wide receiver. They also drafted a safety and a cornerback whose talent translates well to a nickel back, which as we saw last year when Baxter, Bodden, and McCutcheon all battled injuries, is a valuable commodity. The Browns got much deeper on Saturday, and added people who could potentially start for them in a few years with almost every pick. That's the mark of a winning draft.

The Bad:

• Trading the rights to Ngata away to a hated division rival, and only getting a sixth round pick in return. Now, granted, it's apparent that Savage never really wanted to take Ngata, but you can still milk the other team for more than that. The draft chart says that switch should merit a fourth round pick. Getting at least a fifth would have been nice.


• I'm still not 100% sold on Wimbley. He only cracked the starting lineup as a senior. He's supposed to be an athletic marvel, but you'd like to see more dominance from a guy taken 13th overall who's supposed to completely revamp your pass rush. You're also projecting him from defensive end in college to an outside linebacker in the pros, which is always risky. He's being compared to the next Peter Boulware and/or Willie McGinnest, but he could just as easily be the next Kenard Lang at outside linebacker.


• Another safety? Justin Hamilton from Va Tech. He switched positions three times in college (RB -> WR -> RB -> S) and only played safety one year. He did, however, call the signals for the #1 defense in the country last year. However, being that we already have a potential logjam at safety, this pick left me scratching my head. Special teamer, perhaps.

Overall, though, I can't complain too much.

Since I last wrote, the Tribe has gone 2-3. Until they get their pitching back settled, it's going to be a bumpy spring. Sabathia did come back yesterday and pitched well. They just need to get the bullpen in order.


In other news, Melissa and I "foster cared" for a black lab puppy this past weekend:

Simply beautiful animal, but much, much too big and hyper for our small house and our current dog. We gave in and named him ("Grady") and he did play fetch with me, which is probably the one thing I've always wanted in a dog. I threw his toy, and he brought it back every single time. I loved that.

It was hard to see him go, but he went to the no-kill shelter. He needs to go to a home with kids that can play with him more than we can, and probably to a home without an older dog who: a) doens't want to play as much, and b) already has staked his claim as top dog bad-ass of the house.

Godspeed, Grady.

All you other Slim Gradys are just imitating...

Won't the real Slim Grady please stand up? Please stand up? Please stand up?

Seriously. Tribe. What the fuck? Will the real Cleveland Indians please stand up? They are 5-5 in their last ten games, and let's be honest... when I turn a game on, I never know if the starting pitcher is going to go 6 or 7 innings and give up one run, or if the whole team is going to give up 10+ runs. Here are the scores of their last 10 games:

Tribe - Opponents
win, 10-2
win, 15-1
loss, 9-18
loss, 4-9
win, 6-5
loss, 5-11
loss, 1-5
loss, 6-8
win, 7-1
win, 15-3

Seriously, what's going on, here? The offense (with the exception of the 10th game of a 10 day, 10 game road trip in which they only scored 1) has not been the problem. Look at the pitching numbers, though:

5 wins: 12 total runs allowed. 2.4 runs a game. A great number.
5 losses: 46 total runs allows. 9.2 runs a game. NOT a great number.

I know the bullpen has been in flux with Miller, Betancourt, and Cabrera not there. They should be getting Cabrera back soon, and apparently his extended spring has been very beneficial. Betancourt won't be on the DL too terribly long. Miller's done for the year. I also know that C.C. Sabathia is set to come off the DL any day now, and that will only strengthen the starting rotation.

But still... how about a little consistency??


Some other Tribe notes:

• I think it's safe to say you don't ever want to pitch to Ben Broussard with the bases loaded. Last night, he was 2-2 with a grand slam and 6 runs batted in with the bases loaded. That brings his career numbers to: 14-38 (.368) with 4 doubles, 4 grand slams, and a total of 47 RBI. Bases loaded? Call Ben Broussard, that's my name... that name again is Ben Broussard.


• Travis Hafner walked 4 times last night. In his last at bat, he'd been up 4 times previously, but was still 0-0 with 4 BB. How's that for patient, especially when your team is up by 10+ runs?


• Victor Martinez has picked up right where he left off last summer/fall. To have that kind of production in your catcher's spot... wow.


• Paul Byrd has an 8.03 ERA in five starts. If I told you he was above .500, you wouldn't believe me, right? Well, he's 3-2. Mainly, because of the fact that--even though his ERA is north of 8--his run support has been 50 runs in 5 games. Wow.


• Speaking of runs, the Tribe leads baseball in runs scored. They've scored 142 runs in 22 games, good for a clip of 6.45 per game. Only one other team in baseball (Cincinnati, in the NL, with 136) is even over 124 runs. If the Tribe can get any kind of pitching at all, watch out.

In other news, the NFL Draft is tomorrow. Finally, all of the coverage and speculation will end! Some things, to wit:

• The Texans WILL take Reggie Bush at #1. Anyone that tries to convince you otherwise is: a) high, b) completely stupid, or c) the GM of the Texans trying to leverage his contract negotiations with Bush.


• Not being an OSU fan, I'm still not ashamed to say that I support any plan that involves a trade up to get A.J. Hawk, or a trade down to get Bobby Carpenter.


• My gut says the Browns will end up with Haloti Ngata at #12. I have no complaints with that pick. His stock is falling for some unknown reason, and enough people in the top 10 will take guys like Jay Cutler and Mario Williams who inexplicably are the talk of the draft. I'm fine with Ngata at 12.


• My gut also says that if Ngata isn't there, Kamerion Wimbley is our pick.


• My gut (yes, it's getting quite large) also says that if we get Ngata in round 1, we'll take Manny Lawson in round 2, and offensive lineman in round 3, and a change-of-pace running back in round 4.


• Speaking of Lawson (and of Mario Williams) I have this question: if we're to believe that THREE guys from NC State's defense are good enough to be taken in the top 50 or so (Williams is the concensus #2 pick in the draft, Lawson will go in the late 1st/early 2nd, and supposedly John McCargo will as well) HOW THE HELL IS IT THAT I NEVER HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT THEIR DEFENSE LAST COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON? They finished 6-5, 3-5 in the ACC. Fourth in their own division. They gave up just under 20 points a game. So, what are the odds that these guys are simply workout-warriors? I personally think that whomever takes Mario Williams in the top 5 will be sadly let down.


• But, then again, that's why douchebags like Mel Kiper make six (hopefully not seven) figures a year and never run out of hair gel.

I'm meeting up with some cronies for the draft tomorrow morning/afternoon, and then House of Cards is rocking Skully's later that evening. Should be an action-packed day.

Parker Out.

As if right on cue...

So, all I wrote was one thing about: "...if the Tribe's pitching continues to be there..." and BOOM! I undercut this team... AGAIN.

The offense hung up 9 more runs last night against the Orioles. Should have been more than enough, right? Well, too bad the pitching staff GAVE UP 18 FUCKING RUNS.

And lost two members of its bullpen.

Perhaps I should just hide myself under a blanket until October.

Flight 23...

OK, so all Michael Reghi bashing aside, Steve recently touched on a very large and pressing sports debate.

I read a very good article this morning about the importance of shining in the playoffs for LeBron with respect to securing his legacy over the years, and the writer made a very good argument (perhaps without intending to) for LBJ to be the MVP of the league:

Will LeBron make a big splash in his postseason debut? Could he dazzle the nation the way Jordan did when he hung up a playoff-record 63 points in the Boston Garden exactly 20 years ago this week? Could he lead his team on a deep run like Magic and Larry did in 1980?

It's possible. As of Tuesday, the Cavs still don't know if they will face the Wizards, the Pacers, the Bucks or the Bulls in the first round. But they are hot right now, and LeBron just might be good enough to win a series on his own.

In the long run, however, it really doesn't matter.

Win or lose in this year's playoffs, he is already well on his way to joining Jordan, Bird, Magic and the all-time greats in some other areas.

James is about to become just the fourth player in NBA history (and the first since Jordan) to average 31 points, seven boards and six assists in a single season. But what really should open eyes is the way he picked up the Cavs and carried them down the stretch this season. James ran off nine straight games of 35 or more points, helping Cleveland win 11 of 12 games to secure the No. 4 seed in the East and home court advantage in the first round. On the night his streak ended, James had "only" 32 points and hit the game-winning jumper to knock out the Hornets in Oklahoma City.

That's the kind of thing Jordan, Bird and Magic did.

That's a pretty glowing endorsement right there, even if he doesn't come right out and endorse him.


In other news, the Tribe hung 15 runs on Baltimore last night, a day after hanging 10 on the new-look Tigers. God help the AL if our pitching continues to get right (4 runs in the last three games). This offense is built to mash.

Browns are drafting defense. No big surprises there. It will be interesting to see how the first 11 picks pan out, as to whether a QB will be there at 12 or not, and whether then the Browns would trade down. Though Savage says he projects Bobby Carpenter as an inside 'backer in the 3-4 (he's either way off, way smarter than everyone else, or playing the best poker face I've ever seen), I still wouldn't mind a trade down to #20 or so and a selection of Carpenter. The next 10 days should be fun and speculative. Mel Kiper, Jr., has come out of his hole, seen his shadow, and put on 6 pounds of hair gel.

Something... anything...

So, I've been so busy with work that I have been putting off updating this blog. I put it off, and put it off some more, and then it's gotten to be a month. Let's do a quick-hitting update, just for the sake of updating:

• If you've got a couple of hours to waste being mesmerized by the simplest thing, then I suggest you go here. Use your mouse to move him if he gets stuck.


• On the subject of that guy, a rhetorical question, if I may: So, we now know that he leaked classified information for personal political gain, and the White House hasn't denied it. We know he's spying on Americans. Clinton got impeached for getting a BJ. Why, exactly, is GWBush still president??


• Browns added Willie McGinnest as their outside pass rushing threat, and will probably draft a linebacker or defensive tackle at #12. Their schedule is fairly favorable this year. Look out, 10 wins.


• Tribe lost on Opening Night, and hasn't lost in 5 games since. Just reporting the facts. Not trying to jinx anything.


• In other baseball news, remember how much I complained about the Coco Crisp trade? He's on the DL. Jason Michaels is hitting .346 so far. Shows you what I know.


• The Cavaliers are in the playoffs. They've secured home-court in the first round. All of the nay-sayers that said LeBron couldn't finish games and couldn't carry his team have had to eat their words repeatedly as he has become (in my opinion, at least) the MVP of the league over the past month. And hey, you bitches, he hit another game-winner last night. Between that and the just fucking sick play he made in ending New Jersey's 14-game win-streak, those nay-sayers can all go to hell. Sure, ESPN's BJ Armstrong... the Wizards can win the first round series. Gotcha.


• House of Cards is in the middle of a jam-packed April. And we re-designed our website. Holla if you love frames... I know I do! I can't take credit for the art design, though.

Other than that, more of the same. Hopefully it doesn't take me another month to update this thing.

So THIS is what it feels like....

...to have hope for one's football team for the coming season.

Free agency started on Saturday, and already the Browns addressed some HUGE holes from a 6-win team:

LeCharles Bentley - Pro Bowl center
No more will we not be able to pick up 3rd and fucking 1's! This moves Jeff Faine either to guard, or to depth. I'm fine with either, as long as Bentley is playing somewhere in the middle of our line. What's more, he's a Cleveland native, and *gets* what it means to be a Browns fan. When he appeared at his press conference and whipped open his suit coat to show off his Browns 00 jersey (I hope he wins his league petition to wear that number!)... man... goosebumps. He wants to play here. Wow, what a concept!

Kevin Shaffer - Left Tackle
Not the best left tackle ever, but a two-year starter on a team that notoriously runs the ball very well. See above. Supposedly he has trouble with speed rushers (i.e., Dwight Freeney), but who doesn't? At 26, he has promising upside, a mean streak, and a notable work ethic. Browns senior vice president and general manager Phil Savage said he feels, at this point, Shaffer is an upgrade at left tackle over last year's starter, L.J. Shelton. He probably cost less, too.

Ted (Mount) Washington - Nose Tackle
This guy redefines "mammoth." He's listed at 6'5", 365 pounds, but I suspect he hasn't sniffed 365 in the last decade. He's easily 380-390. Weakness #1 on the Browns defense last year was at nose tackle. Our nose tackle consistently got driven off the ball at the snap. By the time anyone could make a play on a running back, he had already gained 6-7 yards. No more. Washington COMMANDS a double-team each play. Sitting him next to newly re-signed Orpheus Roye should free up our middle linebackers to actually play the run, instead of trying to shed the guards that blew past the nose tackle and blocked them. Washington is old (37), but he's a 4-time Pro Bowler, which is more than the entire FRANCHISE of the new Browns can say (seven seasons, exactly 1 Pro Bowler).

Joe Jurivicius - Wide Receiver
This guy is not a prototypical #1 receiver, but what he is is consistent and excited to play in Cleveland (his hometown, see Bentley, LeCharles above). He's a true professional, and has played in 3 Super Bowls in the last six seasons. Surely some of that veteran leadership will rub off on a guy like Braylon Edwards. When these two line up together with Northcutt in the slot, this team will have three dangerous receivers, all of them different types of receivers. Put Kellen Winslow in the mix, and look the fuck out.

Dave Zastudil - Punter
Our punter last year was ho-hum with some stretches of HORRIBLE. This kid is young, had a 43+ net punting average, and ALSO is a Cleveland native who loves the Browns and the weather up on Lake Erie. Since this team lost at least two (maybe three) games with its previous two punters that involved kicks of less than 20 yards, this can only help. For a team that needs to play field position to be successful, this can only help. For a team that needs to educate its players about the plight of Browns fans, bringing in as many guys who were die-hard Browns fans and have been dreaming of playing for the Browns can only help.


It's been rumored that they may go for Kalimba Edwards next. He's a smaller defensive end from Detroit. He would not be able to play every-down defensive end in the Browns 3-4 scheme, but that doesn't matter. The Browns would play him at outside linebacker. He's a pass-rushing specialist. The outside 'backer in a 3-4's main job is to rush the passer and to be a down lineman (defensive end) on third down passing situations. The Browns had a deplorable pass rush last season. As Pee Wee Herman used to say, "Connect the dots! Lala Lala La!"


So, let's review:
Cleveland in 2005: 6-10
Holes in Cleveland's team: run defense, pass rush, offensive line depth, receiving depth, field position
Aquisitions: nose tackle, two good offensive linemen, punter, wide receiver (and possibly a pass-rushing specialist line backer)

Is it unreasonable to think that this team could go 10-6 or 11-5? Who knows. Is it unreasonable to expect that they will have a chance to win every game they play this season? Absolutely not.

Color me: excited.

And the draft is still seven weeks away. This team is a good 3-4 DE and a draft of Bobby Carpenter away from being a defensive juggernaut. OK, maybe not. But, still, maybe so.


In other news, the Tribe is having a great Spring Training, which means that their farm system's depth is better than most other teams' farm system depth.

And, as my colleague Lars pointed out today, Time Warner will be picking up the Tribe's home games in HD. I think I might have just passed out.

The Large Elephant in the Room

Wow. I just got done reading an article that basically confirmed everything I basically already knew, but wow. This book is going to make this year's baseball season very interesting. Especially if the Giants win the NL West as many think they will.

Morally Reprehensible: A Sliding Scale

As some of you probably noted yesteday, my esteemed colleague Justin Neme deftly switched out my Built to Spill mp3 file that was streaming with a note about how distribution of copyrighted materials without permission is morally reprehensible.

While I don't disagree that there is some merit to this claim, I think we should keep this in perspective. My take is that, since only 10 (if I'm lucky) people actually read this blog, and since I'm not actually providing a link and encouraging people to download and steal music but instead am simply embedding a file into my code to allow someone to listen to a tune whilst reading my blog, I'm not exactly "distributing" copyrighted material. I think of myself more like a one-song-per-week radio station with a listening area of ten people on the web.

What I DO find morally reprehensible is how our Chimp in Chief can consistently lie to the Ameircan public, and moreso how a chunk of that same public continually buys into the shit that he says simply because of the fact that he's scared them silly or because of some religious belief he claims to practice.

With the possible exception of Harry Truman, I can't think of another president with more innocent blood on his hands than this one. And Truman gets an asterisk because of the whole WWII thing.

As Lars points out here, so many people seem to forget why we sent troops to the Middle East to begin with. For the president to gloat about how the most wanted man in our country's history being still at large helped his re-election bid makes me want to do a combination of cry, vomit, and punch a lot of people in the face.

Now, THAT'S morally reprehensible.

Ten Random

Based on an idea I've read in some other blogs, I turned on my iTunes here at work, went to the complete library (3850 songs), and played it on shuffle. The object is to document the first ten songs that play and, if other blogs have taught me anything, attempt to come up with some witty banter about each. Here goes...

1. "Candy Man" by Vertical Horizon
One of the worst songs off of their otherwise very good album "Running on Ice," this song feels like filler on the album, with Keith Kane doing his "I wish I was David Gray" vocal stylings, instead of the more-soothing Matt Scannell. The harmonies and great acoustic guitar work are still there, however.

2. "Drag Me Down" by God Lives Underwater
Ahh, yes. Two teenagers in 1993 with a Power Mac created a six-song EP of quasi-industrial/electronic music about 5-7 years before recording everything onto a computer/Pro Tools became the norm. Very washed out and crunchy-sounding. Not quite the best thing they ever did, but not quite the worst either.

3. "Heaven Beside You" by Alice in Chains
My best college friend Tyler and I used to argue about whether or not this was a good album/song, with no resolution ever really coming. I was more firmly entrenched in the "Dirt" AiC camp, and he in the "Jar of Flies" camp. That said, we still played a lot of Super Mario Kart (the original, head-to-head, Ghost Valley 1, over and over) and drank a shit-load of beer.

4. "Depends" by Blink-182
Wow. This is ooooooold. From their first ever album "Cheshire Cat" which was when they were actually a real punk band. The thrust of this song is that they truly can't control their bladders/colons, and the chorus is:
voice 1: "Well, I guess it all depends"
beat
voice 2: "Undergarments!"
The song itself is only about 90 seconds long, followed by 70 seconds of banter, including Mark Hoppus doing a version of the jive-talkers from "Airplane!" and ends with the phrase: "Who taught you how to throw the dick down the stairs?" Good times. No wait, bad times. I'm not sure.

5. "Renholder" by A Perfect Circle
Mysterious sounding acoustic riff with eastern-feeling vocals over it, from their first album "Mer de Noms." A great album from top to bottom. Everything Maynard James Keenan touches turns to gold.

6. "Faces in Disguise" by Sunny Day Real Estate
Wow, I'd forgotten how much I used to fucking LOVE this song. The F-major/D-minor/A-major chord progression on the keyboard to begin it just melts me. I used to tell my friend Rob that if I was ever a movie director, this is the song I would use for any and all love-making scenes, because it has the ambiance and also the chorus "Faces in disguise / not a trace of desire" in it. Perfect movie sex scene music, I'd say. In a totally un-related matter, I believe I was single at the time I hatched this theory. Creepy overtures aside, it's still a bad ass song, especially when Jeremy Enigk's super-falsetto kicks in about the 2:45 mark. And, when listening to the album, it leads right into "The Rising Tide," which is the best ending to an album I've ever heard in recent memory. Well, except for the Blink-182 "dick down the stairs" thing I mentioned above.

7. "Big-Eyed Fish" by Dave Matthews Band
Classic "careful what you wish for" song about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. Except that, in true Dave fashion, once on the other side of the fence, all of his subjects die. "Oh God, under the weight of life / things seem so much brighter on the other side." Indeed. From the "meh"-inspiring "Busted Stuff" album, this is one of those songs that has its moments, but on the whole pales in comparison to what we've come to love about DMB. The live version on "Live at Folsom Field" is a little better, if only because of the extended pan flute solo and the adaptation of the monkey story in which Dave relates to us that "every monkey should know / stay up in your fucking tree." Indeed, Dave. Another second-to-last song on an album that moves seamlessly into "Bartender," which is actually a song I do enjoy from the BS album.

8. "High Hopes" by Pink Floyd
Wow, iTunes must know I'm doing something special with this listening session. When this album came out in the spring of my junior year of high school, I put this song on so many mix tapes for so many people. And, interestingly enough, it continues with the DMB theme of "grass is greener" (although much more explicit). This song is about Pink Floyd's break up, so you can imagine the mix-tape-power I wielded with this song as a 16-17 year old teen-angst sufferer convinced that no girl would ever like/understand me. But, the true Pink Floyd guitar solo at the end always gave me hope. Maybe that's the point of the song.

9. "Best of What's Around" by Dave Matthews Band
It figures that even with 3850 songs, 2 DMB songs would show up. I guess that's what happens when 234 of those songs are DMB songs. This is a good tune, and leads in to one of the best albums of the 90's, in my opinion. It was just the perfect time for DMB to break big when they did, and this album is the reason. There isn't a bad song on the record. And, for once, Dave has a seemingly uplifting message: your friends are important; no matter how much shit comes around, you can make the best of it with the right people. So not about weed, Jesus, sex, or death. So NOT DMB.

10. "Another Know It All" by Chevelle
Finally, something heavy. One has to remember that I listened to a lot of heavy, heavy music as a younger man (I won't say metal, because I can't claim to like the serious metal). This isn't the best Chevelle song ever, but it is on an album ("This Type of Thinking [Could Do Us In]")that has some political overtones here and there, which I dig. Not quite as good a song as "Breach Birth" on the same album, but a nice way to wrap up my 10 Random.


Anyone else want to give it a go?

Be there. Or I will hunt you down.

If you're in Columbus tonight and are not at Scarlet and Grey Cafe to see my show, change your address and phone number. I will hunt you down.

Blogger finishes book; reaches out and hugs own dog

So, I just finished reading Marley & Me by John Grogan. I'd been plugging along through it until last week when I got to the point where the dog started to get older. I had a pretty rough week last week, so I really wasn't ready to go there.

Last night I finished the book, and it made me reach down to the end of the bed and hug my own pooch.

I recommend this book to anyone who is a dog-lover, has had (or currently has) a dog that was (is) the world to them, or really anyone who has a pet in general. It's a beautifully written book that perfectly illustrates how something as small and seemingly unimportant as a pet can really impact your life and really become part of the fabric of a family.

Not good times. Bad times.

Thanks, Sony. Way to get my hopes up and then dash them.

Blogger Stumbles Across Best Blog Ever

Thanks to my friend Rob who writes so maniacally well for the East Bay Express for posting this in one of his articles.

I give you, the best blog ever.

(Takk...) About Excited...

So, we are going to see Sigur Ros tonight here in Columbus at the (formerly known as Promowest) Pavilion. Having never seen them before, I could not be more excited, as I've heard they are simply mind-blowing live. Melissa and I plan to meet up with some guys from my band, and make an evening out of the whole thing. From everything I've heard and read, this should be an amazing evening.

In the meantime, enjoy a little snippet.

A Win and a "Lost"

I believe the Curse of the Blog has been lifted! After giving up a goal 35 seconds into the game, and being down 3-1 at the end of the first period, it looked as though Lars was right: my blog had again cursed a hot sports team. They were headed for a second straight loss.

Five unanswered goals later, the Jackets again emerged victorious. This time, they didn't give the other team the freebie point for the shootout loss. And, they got two points from the team in the 8th playoff spot. They're now 17 points back with two games in hand above the Kings, who are reeling. For the sake of any playoff argument, you have to assume the Jackets win those two games in hand, and thus for all intents and purposes can be 13 points back. That's doable over a two-month span.

We also learned on "Lost" last night that Sawyer, despite all of his experiences with all of the people on the island, is still at his root a bad mothaf-shut yo mouth. Just talkin' bout Sawyer.

Then we can dig it.

And, even though my previous Lost post bashed the Charlie episode, last nights ep at least shed some light on why it was there.

There's a new sheriff in town!

Say hello to hockey, the other white meat!

Seriously, I love hockey, and I love to follow the Blue Jackets. But, until Christmas, they looked content to just roll over and die and have one of the worst seasons ever. But then, my boy Rick Nash (above) came back, and essentially the whole, original roster finally got healthy. Since Christmas, they've played 19 games and have gone 13-5-1 (equalling 27 points in 19 games... not bad for at that time the second worst team in hockey). They've gone from 19 points to 46 points in a little over a month.

Columbus is finally getting behind their team again, and the way the Jackets are playing, they have a legitimate shot at making a run at the #8 spot in the playoffs (and thus, the right to get smoked by Detroit in the first round).

But, I think it was Shakespeare who said, "It's better to get smoked in the first round of the playoffs than never to have been in the playoffs at all." Or something like that.

At any rate, this team is on fire. 8-2 in their last 10, including a 5-game winning streak (4 of which were against playoff teams, the last 2 on the road).

Stay tuned.

Our Big Break + State of the Union Scorecard

So, tonight could be the biggest show my band has ever played. We are again headlining Little Brother's which we first did back in December. That night, we probably had 70 people there.

Well, for the show tonight, we've passed out almost 2000 free tickets all across campus and other parts of the city. Our estimate was that maybe 1 in 10 tickets would show up at the door. Even at that rate, that's at least 200 people, which in this town for a Wednesday night show, is pretty damn good.

Some semi-important people (from some bigger bands in C-bus, one of which is signed I believe), are rumored to be at this show. Godspeed, House of Cards.

On to more pressing matters:

State of the Union Address Scorecard

Number of Minutes Actually Watched: ZERO. That's right. I can't stand to watch that man speak. It makes my blood pressure rise. My wife and I consider ourselves to be steeped in traditional moral values, but I believe at one point she said, "I hate that man with every fiber of my being." And I couldn't agree more.

Best Analysis: Tim Russert. Seriously, I love Tim Russert when it comes to things like this. He seems to be the only reporter these days who doesn't lob softballs at interviewees, and his assessment last night of what will actually be done in Congress in the coming year was fair, and probably accurate. I wish Tim was in the daily White House Press Corps sometimes, because you know he wouldn't let Scott McClellan get away with a quarter of the douchey dodging answers he gives essentially every day.

Brightest Political Future: Barrack Obama. He was only on NBC for about 45 seconds to a minute after the speech, but in that minute he said more of substance than most politicos can do. "He talked about the things that I think need to be talked about. Health care, education, energy independence, but there wasn't any beef there. There didn't seem to be any serious proposals that would call America to action." No spin. Thank heavens. I think it's too early in 2008 for any Presidential aspirations, but good God, they need to get him involved in that campaign.

Number of Times I Would Punch Bill Frist in the Face, Were it Legal: Cannot be Measured by Existing Technology. Seriously. He couldn't even properly recite the bullet points on NBC's post-speech coverage without messing up.

Most Unexpected Democratic Response: Tim Kaine of Virginia. Dude's been governor for all of a month, and he's the choice for Democratic response? At first I was like, "Wha?" but then I came to like the decision. Fresh blood. That's what the Dems need. They need to parade guys like Kaine (who, as Lt. Governor of Virginia has worked with a lot of actual bipartisanship to accomplish good things in that Republican state, and who has connected with white, rural, middle-class America) and Obama (who connects with people unlike any politician I've seen other than Bill Clinton) around early and often going into the 2006 and 2008 elections. To quote Agent Smith from The Matrix: "You've had your time. It's... OUR time... now."

Best Sarcastic Canned Response: The Democrats Giving a Standing-O to Bush's Caustic Remark about Not Passing His Social Security Privatization. Seriously. Brilliant. Hearing about that makes me almost wish I'd watched the speech.

Thing I Missed Most about Not Watching the SotU Address: Ted Kennedy's Eye-Rolling. Ted's always good for at least one big sigh and one big eye-roll while on camera when Bush says something he doesn't like. Melissa and I agreed: that's the only reason we would have watched the actual speech.

All in all, I really don't know exactly what the President said, as admittedly, I didn't watch his speech. But, much like David Letterman, I have a feeling that at least 60% of what he said is crap.

Crisp-for-Marte: The Re-Redux

So, this story just keeps getting better and better. Apparently, because Guillermo Mota's shoulder looked sketchy, the Tribe has asked Boston for *another* player. This one, while still technically a "prospect," has the potential to help the Indians this year. This would make the deal a little easier for me to swallow, in truth.

Boston is balking at this deal, which makes me think that if it happens, it can't be all bad. They'd be giving us three of the top young players in their organization for Coco Crisp. THAT sounds like a trade worth making, especially when one of them (Manny Delcarmen) could help us this season. Plus, it means that with this deal and then the impending deal with the Phillies, we're now swapping players straight up: back-up catcher for back-up catcher, middle relievers for middle relievers, and outfield for outfield. We then get Marte on top of everything. If he pans out like Lars thinks he will, seems like the Tribe wins on this deal, and basically a comparable team takes the field this year to the one that won 93 games last year. I can live with that.

Don't get me wrong: I still don't think I want these deals to go down, but if they do, I could live with it in THIS format better than I could when it was just Marte and Mota that we would be getting (in addition to Michaels, of course).


New Lost last night. Have to say that it left me a bit disappointed. I found it to grind any momentum that the show built (from last week's revelation of Zeke to Jack wanting to plan an army) to a screaching halt. So, you're telling me that all of this stuff happened, and Jack is too busy chatting it up with Ana Lucia about whether or not he's "hitting" Kate to even mention anything about his plans for an army, or the fact that they now have made contact with at least one faction of "Others?" No, instead we get some Charlie backstory time, and a teaser of Sun being kidnapped.

I guess I just didn't like being teased. It's like in the Simpsons, when Poochie made his debut on the Itchy and Scratchy show... they were driving down a road to a fireworks factory, and the signs kept telling of its impending arrival. Then they stop and pick up Poochie and he does his awful, awful thing. Milhouse exclaims, "When are they going to get to the fireworks factory?!?"

Indeed, Milhouse. When are we going to get to that fireworks factory, Lost?

No! Not 'Nice Guy Eddie' Too!

I can't believe Chris Penn died. He was only 40. While not the picture of health given his weight and what-not, this is still somewhat surprising.

Who can forget the image of him learning to "dance" from Kevin Bacon in Footloose, or, quite simply,

If you fucking beat this prick long enough, he'll tell you he started the goddamn Chicago fire, now that don't necessarily make it fucking so!

Hopefully we don't come to find out it was drugs. Selah.

Bob McKenzie: "Take off, eh! He's signin' my jersey!"

Is it me, or does Jhonny Peralta have a gigantic head?

At any rate, the Tribe press junket here in Columbus was fun. Got my jersey signed by Peralta, Ryan Garko, and Fernando Cabrera. For $5 to charity, I'd say it was money well spent.

And, incidentally, he's laughing because I asked him a stupid question.

More on Coco Crisp-for-Andy Marte

Some good debate happening in my comments section, which isn't something I ever thought I'd see on this blog. Wow!

For me, regardless of what Marte does on the field, I think Kokotan's statement sums up why I was/am so pissed about this potential trade:

"So we are planning on taking that final step in 2007 or will Marte need 77 games followed by a year in the minors to adjust (like jhonny) meaning we are planning for 08 or 09? After a season with 90 some wins? What players are we going to have to dump for salary reasons next year so we can plan for 2008? Unless this team plans on keeping some of its good players then they aren't going to compete every year, they will always be planning on next year."

And, while Marte's numbers may track well, unless the Boston GM is pulling a "Giles for Rincon" trade because they feel like CF/leadoff is that huge a deal to their offense, I'm skeptical that someone this good could be traded twice in the same off-season without a red-flag being there. And now on top of Crisp, we have to give up two MORE major-league (or at least AAAA) players to get this kid, when all he was worth to them was Edgar Renteria, who they were obviously so enamored with that they traded him and are willing to replace him with Alex Gonzalez.

In addition, the fact that we're not actually strengthening our bullpen now (if Riske--for Marte--and then Rhodes--for Michaels--go, only to be replaced by Mota, who *might* be injured), when it was the one area of a 93-win team to already take a huge hit in free-agency, I have to question exactly what the fuck Shapiro is doing if he claims he's not taking a step backward and planning for the future.

Fernando Cabrera for a whole year will be nice, but he doesn't replace both of your set-up men. Matt Miller *might* be back to pre-injury form, but he's been nothing if not inconsistent his entire Indians tenure. Mota *could* be good, but his numbers last year were abysmal when compared with his 2004 numbers. And, leaving a bullpen with only one lefthander (Scott Sauerbeck, who CANNOT get right handed hitters out) is not a smart thing. We tried that in 2004, and it was an awful experiment (Scott Stewart anyone?).


I guess I just can't believe the balls Shapiro has. After all the heat he took in 2002 for trading Colon and then to tell everyone, "Wait until 2005. You'll see," to have the balls now after 2005 to pull that shit again...

What do you do for an encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

Bitter much?

I guess I should be "proud" that a team from my division is going to the Super Bowl, but fuck that. Really. I know this is going to be entirely sour grapes on my part, but Fuck the Steelers. Seriously. In the pooper, if need be.

I'm so tired of the Steelers. Of Jerome Bettis. Of Fucking Big Ben. Of Bill Cowher's chin. I hate the Steelers so much I actually rooted for the Broncos this weekend! And that's saying something.

Now, I know that deep down, the Steelers are a well-run organization with great fans. They're the one team that didn't vote for Art Modell's plan to move the Browns. They wore patches for the Browns fans when we lost our team. They've done everything to reignite the Browns/Steelers rivalry (including pounding the shit out of us ad nauseum). They run a clean organization. You don't tend to hear about their players on police blotters.

That said, fuck them. Go Seattle.


And while we're on the subject of sports things that really piss me off, the Indians are trading one of their most popular players and an important cog in their young, potent lineup for a prospect. To Boston, of all teams (probably the one team in MLB that I hate more than the Yankees). For a prospect. A prospect. A prospect!

I've had some time to digest this, and despite the optimism of my Tribe colleague Lars, I still am not really happy about this move. And I'll endeavor to tell you why (and then wait for the comments from Lars that explain to all of you why I'm full of shit):

To me, the Indians from 2002-2005 had run a top-notch organization. They laid a plan in 2002 for the 2005-2006 time-frame. They set it up back in June and July of 2002 so that the future would be bright.

And now that the bright future is actually here (93-69, missing a playoff spot by 2 games in '05), they're taking a step backward to plan for the future again. To me, they apparently have no idea how to ride any momentum. They complained that they couldn't spend money until the fans came back. They put a great product on the field, and now the fans are coming back.

So, to reward the fans, they subject them to 162 games of Casey Motherfucking Blake in right field, and a possible platoon of Todd Fucking Hollandsworth and A Guy Who Likes to Get Into Fist-Fights with Cops (see link at bottom) in left field, all the while losing their .300 hitting #2 hitter, *JUST* on the prospect of a 22-year-old third baseman who *might* help them NEXT YEAR (i.e., IN 2007!).

Marte, 22, is the key to the deal for the Indians. They don't consider him a finished player and he'll probably open the season at Class AAA Buffalo. Aaron Boone is expected to open the season at third after the Indians picked up his 2006 option last year. Boone has a mutual option for 2007.

The Indians have a big hole at third base in the organization. They not only believe Marte can fill that hole, but that he could eventually be the right-handed, middle-of-the-order power hitter they've been unable to acquire over the past two years.

Marte hit .275 (107-for-389) with 20 homers and 74 RBI last season for Class AAA Richmond. He played 24 games for the Braves and hit .140 (8-for-57) with no homers and four RBI. (emphasis/itals mine)

Am I crazy, or are those numbers not all that great for "top-10 prospect" material at AAA-ball? And, not only are we sacrificing a .300 hitter in Crisp out of the 2006 lineup, but we still have to put up with Blake and Boone for another year.

I understand that the Tribe is making this deal contingent upon getting Jason Michaels from Philadelphia to fill Crisp's spot in the outfield, and that Andy Marte is ranked as one of the top-10 prospects in baseball, but come on. Alex Escobar (seriously, click the link and look at the gaudy MLB career numbers, including 301 total at-bats!) was once ranked as one of the top-10 prospects in baseball, too.

Furthermore, the pitcher we'd be getting from Boston is apparently worth so little to a free-agency-depleted bullpen that he's going to be turned around for Mr. Cinderella Man Cop Fighter with no recourse. And on top of that, we ALSO have to give Boston two minor league players??

So, to recap, we're going to trade a 26-year-old GOOD fielding outfielder with speed who hits .300 in the #2 hole behind Franchise McSizemore and in front of one of the best 3-6 lineups in baseball, BUT he's not worth more than a 22-year-old guy who hits .275 in AAA and a pitcher who is so worthless that we're going to turn him around for a career-fourth-outfielder who gets into fights with cops and may or may not have to platoon with an over-the-hill-possibly-never-was Todd Hollandsworth, AND we have to give up two minor league players just to get another minor leaguer from Boston? Am I missing something here?

I know Shapiro has made a lot of great trades over the past 3-4 years, and for that I should give him the benefit of the doubt (after all, he did get Crisp back in 2002 for Chuck "Please, Tawny, stop hitting me with your shoe and climb back onto David Coverdale's hood" Finley). But, this one leaves me scratching my head a little bit.

If it goes down, the 2006 Tribe better hit coming out of the gate MUCH better than the 2005 team did the first two months of last year, AND the 2007 Tribe had better run away and hide with the division.

Lest I get into a boxing stance and wrestle someone to the ground.

Interesting Baseball HoF Fallout and/or Maurice Carthon is a Dumb-ass

Just got finished reading a great, great article by Bob Ryan on Albert Belle and his chances for the Hall of Fame. Any concerned Cleveland sports fans that happen to read this blog should check it out.


Also just read a great column by Terry Pluto in the ABJ about Maurice Carthon and his loose lips. Good luck with that, ass.

Alright, alright: count me in, too

From others, I have read of this "Game of Four" business. Here goes nothin':

• 4 jobs you've had in your life: Dance Cotillion Drummer, Grocery Packer, Contract Coordinator for a copier company, and Media Editor for a college textbook publisher


• 4 movies you could watch over and over: Shawshenk Redemption, The Godfather, Office Space, Dazed and Confused


• 4 places you've lived: Wooster OH, Vermilion OH (sort of), Alliance OH, Columbus and/or Dublin OH


• 4 TV shows you love to watch: Simpsons, The Daily Show, Lost, Grey's Anatomy (this list promises to grow in potential once our DVR is installed on Thursday)


• 4 places you've been on vacation: Fort Collins (and skiing in the Rockies) CO, Ocho Rios Jamaica, Baltimore MD, Lake Placid NY


• 4 websites you visit daily: Cleveland.com, CNN.com, my band's discussion forum, ESPN.com


• 4 of your favorite foods: pizza, wings from Winking Lizard, shrimp cocktail, cheese and many things made/associated with it (a total cop-out, I know)


• 4 places you'd rather be: a beach with my wife, a Cleveland-team professional sporting event, skiing down a large mountain, at an amazing concert


• 4 albums you can't live without: Dave Matthews Band: Listener Supported, Sigur Ròs: ( ), Tool: Lateralus, Grandaddy: The Sophtware Slump


• 4 people tagged next: like four people actually read this!

Vacation: Over

So, I was on vacation for a couple of weeks, and unlike many of my more dedicated colleagues in the blog-o-sphere, I chose not to do diddly shit on my blog while gone. Chalk part of that up due to travel, and part of it up due to laziness and enjoying time off with my wife.

At any rate, here I am. Back at work. Ugh. To update you:

• The band took some time off. We played our two shows December 14th-15th, and did really well. The Little Brother's show was off the fucking charts. We actually drew enough people to make money... at a big club. So much so, they have asked us back again on Wednesday, February 1st. We managed to get them to make that show a bit earlier in the evening, hopefully making it that much easier to get more asses on barstools. We're kicking off our 2006 with a show this Friday night at Scarlet and Grey Cafe, with some new material on top of it all. Hopefully it will be a good winter/spring for us and we can get some meathooks into some OSU kids before they leave.


• The Browns finished up at 6-10, which actually was a pleasant surprise. I went on record with my tailgating friends at 5-11, so they showed me what time it is. With John Collins being fired as president, and a full off-season from the new GM and head coach to come, not to mention getting Kellen Winslow and hopefully Braylon Edwards back, the Browns should be above .500 for the 2006 season. Which means, of course, that they will be 4-12 when it's all said and done with all of their playmakers on IR.


• The Tribe signed a bunch of scrubs. Just like they do every year. We shall see.


• We're getting our digital cable, DVR, and HD channels on Thursday. My next blog entry may be from a hospital bed after I pass out. Call me crazy, but I'm looking forward the most to Discovery HD Theater. I dig that nature-show shit, and to see it in 46 inches of high definition promises to be super sweet. Oh, and the NFL playoffs and March Madness in HD won't be too shabby either.


• Bill O'Reilly is a big, lying, splotchy lunatic. No big shocker there.


• Tom DeLay is out at House Majority Leader. About fucking time.


• This man will most likely doom us all.


• And now, for a truly un-Christian moment, of which I am ashamed (but not ashamed enough NOT to print it). Just die, already. Sorry about that.

I think that covers it for now. Thanks for hanging in, any and all of you that stuck around through my prolonged absence.

This Week is THE Week

Well, in response to my "quotes" post below, at least the Browns played well. They got jobbed on a "holding" call that ended up keeping Cincinnati's last-second game-winning field goal drive alive, but other than that, they did about all I could have hoped for.

In band news, we have two HUGE shows this week at HUGE venues for us.

Wednesday night, 12/14, we'll be headlining Little Brother's on High Street (w/ The Slide Machines and Fine Dining). This is going to be a HUGE show, and we have always wanted to play Little Brother's. We're expecting A LOT of people; hopefully they actually show up.

And, if that wasn't enough, we are ALSO be playing at The Basement (at Fat Eddie's Bar) on Thursday, 12/15 with Bullet Jones and others. This one may not be as heavily attended (and it's not as important to me as the LB's show is), but it should be a nice way to pocket some band money this week. One step closer to my own edition of MTV's Cribs...

A sick day may be calling my name on Friday.

The most important post you will ever read.

Remember where you saw this information when the time comes to finish your Christmas/Hannukuh/Kwanza/"Holiday" shopping.

Welcome to Pandora:


A little background from the Pandora folks:

Ever since we started the Music Genome Project, our friends would ask:

Can you help me discover more music that I'll like?

Those questions often evolved into great conversations. Each friend told us their favorite artists and songs, explored the music we suggested, gave us feedback, and we in turn made new suggestions. Everybody started joking that we were now their personal DJs.

We created Pandora so that we can have that same kind of conversation with you.

I, for one, think this is a great idea in and of itself. However, after using Pandora for a month or so, I can't believe I ever lived without it. Basically, you pick a song or artist. Pandora plays that song or artist, and then, based on the Music Genome Project criteria, selects other music that it thinks you might like (but might have never heard of before). Each song that plays allows you to offer feedback: I like this song, play more like it. I hate this song, never play it again.

In essence, you develop a radio station that constantly evolves, so that you never hear crap that you don't like. You can create any number of radio stations. I have at least five that weave through the different styles of music that I like, and each is unique and constantly fluid to adjust to my tastes.

And, it's free, if you don't mind little adverts in the upper corner of a window that you can minimize anyway.

Don't wait. Go there now. Drop whatever you're doing. You'll thank me.

Things I'd like to say to people... in caption form...

Most Important

"Damn, you good lookin'."


Sports

"Good God, I hope you're ready. Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life."


"Good God, I hope you're healthy, if only so that #9 up there doesn't get killed. Phil, pay the man."


"Okay, Whiney McContract. It's put-up or shut-up time. Braylon's gone. You want a new deal? In the words of John Houseman, make money the old fashioned way: EARN IT."


"What's that? Hoffman resigned with the Padres? Oh, no, Bob... we were never, uhh... serious... about that. We wanted you all along. Please, oh please... pitch in 2006 like you pitched in 2005."


"Before I even THINK of getting on board for this idea of you as my right fielder next year, the 1999 version of yourself had better show up yesterday."


Politics

"I may be stupider than you in the classical, don't-have-as-many-degrees sense, but I'll never be as much of a sell-out whore as you..... oh wait, and there's no fucking way I'm stupider than you are. Bitch."


"If, by 'amazing progress' you mean in terms of the death toll reaching new heights, then yes. 'There's an important debate going on in our nation's capital about Iraq.' There is. Too bad you're too fucking stupid and stubborn to let yourself be a part of it."


"Seriously. Shut the fuck up. Like, now. I have a sneaking suspicion you're going down next year."


Also, if you aren't listening to The Stephanie Miller Show, you probably should be.

That's all I got.

Cursed?

So, it's not bad enough that I spend $400 on football tickets for the season (slightly less this year due to the two games I've sold) and get up at the crack of pre-dawn several Sundays each fall/winter.

It's not bad enough that I sit in the cold, bundled up to the gills.

It's not bad enough that the Browns blew a 14-3 halftime lead and lost, 20-14.

No, on top of all of that, my favorite player and one of the Browns only certifiable playmakers has to blow out his knee.

Seriously, I don't believe in curses. But one has to admit (if one has ever spent any considerable amount of time following the Cleveland Browns) that there is something seriously fishy going on, here.

And I, for one, am powerless to do anything about it.

Image of Myself as Someone Else

Sometimes I get bored. Thanks to the good people somewhere in Denmark, however, I now know what my wife and I would look like as characters on South Park:


You can tell who the looker is in this group, and it sure as hell ain't me.

Go nuts here, everyone!

Current Events

Sadly, I'm not here to report of my band's impending gig with Bon Jovi. That honor went to Introspect, a local Nickelback knock-off. I guess I can't complain, as that's probably the kind of music the average Bon Jovi fan wants to hear. At least it didn't go to these fuckwads, as was originally rumored.

Even still, we played an unplugged set at the ShiSha Lounge just north of campus last week, and it went very well all things considered. We will be playing there on Thursday, December 1st, and will follow that up with shows at Bernie's on Friday, December 2nd and at The Basement on Thursday, December 15th.

In the meantime, we are planning to spend the entire day this coming Sunday in a recording studio. The finished product should be an EP that includes at least 5 tracks, and hopefully more, depending on how smoothing we can record. Since we're doing all of the mixing ourselves, that cuts out the most tedious and time-consuming part of the studio experience, and also allows us to spend all of our time recording this weekend. Look for an EP to be finished by December sometime, at which time we will begin peddling it mercilessly.

In other news, I can't believe the Browns won on Sunday. This is the second home game this season for which I've given up my season ticket (the other being the Bears game), and they're 2-0 when I decide not to go. Coincidence? Much like I was killing the Tribe by writing about them, perhaps I'm killing the Browns by watching them in person. I'm also killing the Cavs by even paying attention to them. I didn't watch or listen to the opener; they won handily. I turned on the Cavs/Spurs game; the Cavs were competitive at the time and were actually leading. They then tanked in the second half. I listened in the car on Saturday night, and when I turned it on they were ahead by 10. They lost.

I'm like a giant, 6'3" black cat that walks under a ladder while breaking a mirror for these teams. ESPN's early poll has the Indians picked to win the World Series next season. Maybe I shouldn't watch.


New episode of "Lost" this week. Apparently, someone is going to die. But who? Though the promos would have you believe Sawyer, I just can't see them killing him off. Not Shannon, since Boone just died and she has to further her freaky "Walt keeps appearing to me and freaking my shit out" storyline. Not any of the hatch-dwellers.

Needless to say, thankfully there's no band practice or band shows this week. Melissa and I should be able to watch it. I'm ready. It's about time.

Wow.

I'm sensing a theme here. A month passes. I write one blog entry.

I know that I'm very busy at work, but still. That's no excuse. The three people that read (or maybe, used to read) my blog demand more.

Some random news:

• Gig tonight at Oldfield's on High. We have one more next Thursday at Shi Sha Lounge, which will be an "unplugged" show and should be fun. After those two, we have nothing until December 15th at The Basement. The plan is to head into the studio and record as many tracks as possible for our demo. We also got a nice little press kit photo taken, finally:
  


• In other band news, there's a slim chance that we will be opening for BON FUCKING JOVI on November 9th. Apparently, they've booked most of their tour without openers, and each venue/city finds a local band to open for them. We obviously have no more shot than any other band entering this "contest" with the exception of the fact that our intrepid guitarist Steve has ins with two people on the Ohio Union Activities Board who will be lobbying for us to play this gig. Holy fuck, I don't know what I'd do with myself if we got to play a show that big.


• The White Sox won the World Series. Meh. Couldn't have happened to a bigger bunch of pricks. Seriously. They had a 15 game lead, and the Tribe cut it to 1.5 games. And then when the Tribe couldn't make the playoff push after all of that, he has the fucking nerve to do this. Asshole. Not to mention that their catcher is in the top 5 list of athletes whom I cannot stand.


• In other World Series news, you know who has to be suffering the most? Not Astros fans. Cubs fans. Their team hasn't won a World Series since 1908! Until one year ago, they had company (as misery LOVES company). Both Sox (Red and White) hadn't won a World Series since 1918 and 1917 respectively. Now, in a one year span, Cubs fans have to watch both of those teams win World Series titles in succession. Now, as a long-suffering Cleveland fan, I can relate. But damn... can you imagine being a Cubs fan in your 60's or 70's, even? You've lived your whole life and not seen your team win. Then, the other two teams who can relate to you suddenly both win theirs back to back. I know I'd shoot myself. The even worse news is that now, the team behind the Cubs for longest drout is none other than my very own Cleveland Indians, who have been close-but-no-cigar since 1948. Add in that Cleveland's last sports title was 13 years before I was born (1964 Browns, baby), and I just realized that it really SUCKS being a Cleveland fan. Thanks, Mom and Dad.


• And, wrapping up our World Series coverage, I find myself wondering if Brad Lidge recovers from this post-season... He was lights-out in last year's post-season and early in this one, but from game 5 of the NLCS on he was very mortal, and looked like he had no confidence. He gave up 3 games in the span of 6; he gave up a 3-run BOMB to Albert Pujols with the Astros 1 out away from the World Series. He gave up a walk-off game winner to a guy who had ZERO home runs during the regular season, spanning 507 at bats. He gave up the lead in a 0-0 game, a game that his team ended up losing and thus lost the series. I'm sure he'll have plenty of time this off-season to think about it. I mean, it never affected Byung-Hyun Kim, right?


• The Browns. Oh, the Browns. Get to 2-2, have 4 chump teams coming up, and then go in the tank. Lose your #1 cornerback. Have your veteran quarterback start sucking. The Browns continually think of new ways to take years off of my life. Every year.

So, that's what's going on.

Shot through the heart, and you're to blame. You give love a bad name.

Bad name.